Farhan Saeed challenges taboo around men's pain and vulnerability

Singer-actor discusses societal expectations of men and the emotional struggles often left unspoken

Singer-actor Farhan Saeed opened up about the taboo surrounding men’s mental health in an interview with BBC Urdu, challenging the assumption that “men don’t feel pain or they don’t cry”. Speaking about the double standards men can face when they struggle to speak up, Saeed offered a pointed commentary on empathy, gender and the character he played in his latest drama.

Saeed was careful to separate the two conversations rather than pit them against each other. Acknowledging that Pakistan remains a male-dominated society, he said, “Women continue to face systemic issues and rights violations. But this reality should not mean men are exempt from their own suffering or suppression, or that every man who steps out of the house is somehow complicit in the harassment women face.”

His comments were closely tied to his recent drama Bas Tera Saath Ho, a project he said almost did not happen. Saeed recalled being hesitant about taking on the role because it was far removed from his own personality and unlike anything he had previously played on television.

“I did a lot of meetings with the team; the drama also got delayed because I was reluctant to agree with it, as it's not even slightly closer to the person I am in real life. I've never done this kind of character before. Neither is such a character coming on TV, so there was a little hesitation at first, but then I took the challenge,” he said.

The reaction to the drama, however, brought him a different perspective on the character and the experiences it had resonated with. Saeed said he began hearing from viewers who connected the storyline to their own lives.

“I began receiving messages from daughters writing about their own fathers and women sharing stories about their husbands; men reached out about their own struggles tied to the character,” he said.

Rather than celebrating the attention, Saeed said the messages made him more aware of how difficult many people’s realities were.

 

 

 

 

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The conversation then moved to his wife, Urwa Hocane, who is currently appearing in the drama Aap Ki Izzat. Saeed’s admiration for her work, however, stretched back years, with the actor recalling an early moment when he recognised her ability.

“I am proud of her, and I have always thought of her as a phenomenal actor. She has just hit it out of the park; it's a brilliant script, but what a phenomenal performance, everything from her expression to her eyes to her words,” he said.

He also recalled watching Na Maloom Afrad with Hocane and praising her performance. “I remember watching her film with her, and when her introduction scene came, I looked at her and told her, 'You are a brilliant actress,'” he said.

Saeed said he had later come across a YouTuber’s video arguing that such characters were “breaking the society”. While he disagreed with the criticism, he said the debate at least showed that the portrayal was prompting a wider conversation.

For Saeed, Hocane’s convictions extend beyond her performances. He said her approach to issues involving women was evident in her everyday interactions as well.

“Urwa believes in every word she says; if at any get-together some husband is seen making fun of his wife, she stands up for the women; if at an event someone's commenting on a girl, she makes a point of it and goes and asks them to not talk about a girl like that; she means every word she has said in the drama,” he said.

When asked what kinds of roles he would consider in the future, Saeed drew a clear distinction between playing a conventional antagonist and portraying a toxic male character who is ultimately redeemed.

“Number one, I won't do a toxic male character, someone who is abusive and then changes midway and becomes a hero; I won't do such a character. Yes, I am open to doing a negative character who stays that way till the very end. I don't wanna do a toxic character as it sends a bad message to society,” he said, adding that he preferred taking on roles he had not attempted before.

Away from acting, Saeed said music remained firmly part of his plans. “I haven't taken a pause from music; I am releasing a pre-recorded song simultaneously and am trying to balance both together,” he said.

That balancing act has been evident over the past year. Saeed released his first solo album, Khat, describing it as “a letter, a khat from my heart to theirs” for the fans who had stayed with him through two decades in the industry.

On the film front, Saeed was recently seen in Luv Di Saun, an unconventional love story set in old Lahore and co-starring Mamya Shajaffar. The film explores womanhood and societal pressure through the framework of a romance.