Time to sell my kidneys

At this point, I am seriously considering selling my kidneys. Before anyone gets concerned, let me explain. I am not actually planning to sell them. I am simply speaking for the millions of people who are wondering what they have left to sell.

There was a time when people saved money for emergencies, retirement, their children's education, or perhaps a nice holiday. Now, people are saving money to buy cooking oil. That is the new definition of a good life.

Every morning, I open my eyes and wait for the bad news: What became expensive while I was sleeping?

Milk? Probably. Eggs? Most likely. Electricity? Obviously. Petrol? Do not even ask. By the time I finish breakfast, I feel as if I have personally funded the parliament's refreshment budget.

Inflation has become so aggressive that going to the supermarket now feels less like shopping and more like negotiating a hostage situation. You walk in with a list of ten things and come out with three items, a receipt long enough to qualify as a parliamentary bill, and a deep sense of post-shopping stress disorder. The receipt is so long I could use it as a scarf in winter.

You pick up a packet of biscuits and stare at the price. You put it down. Then you desperately snatch it again because perhaps you read it wrong. You did not. The biscuits are now apparently a luxury investment. What exactly happened? Did the biscuits suddenly become imported from Switzerland?

People used to say, "Money cannot buy happiness." Clearly, they had never tried paying an electricity bill. Today, money can buy happiness, peace, food, fuel, medicine, education and basic dignity.

"Manage your expenses," people advise. Excellent advice. Perhaps we should also manage my hair to stop falling out while we are at it.

How exactly does one manage expenses when the expenses themselves refuse to be managed? You cut unnecessary spending. Then you cut entertainment. Then eating out. Then shopping. Then holidays. Then small luxuries. Then the things you actually need. Eventually, you are sitting at home in the dark because electricity is expensive, drinking water because tea is expensive, and staring at your wall because even depression has become unaffordable. I can't even afford to have a breakdown; the therapy is too expensive.

And still someone will say, "You need to budget better."

Of course.

Perhaps the next financial guru will tell us to create a spreadsheet titled "How To Survive With Nothing". The truth is that ordinary people have already been cutting corners for years. They are buying cheaper brands, delaying medical treatment, cancelling plans, sharing rides, reducing portions, and thinking twice before spending even a small amount.

How much more are people supposed to cut? Should we start cutting meals in half? Breakfast on Monday. Lunch on Wednesday. Dinner whenever the economy recovers?

Weddings are another financial celebration of poverty. People spend years saving for one day because apparently love now requires a catering package, decorated stage, expensive clothes, venue charges, and enough food to feed a small army. Love is beautiful, but the price tag attached to it is absolutely ugly.

I joke about selling my kidneys because what else is left? My dignity? Already sold to the electricity company.

One kidney for rent. The other for groceries. Perhaps I can auction my liver to pay the electricity bill. At least the bones might finally be useful.

Inflation slowly changes the way people live. And if things continue like this, perhaps we should stop asking people to tighten their belts. Some of us have already tightened them so much that we cannot breathe.

So, does anyone know the current market price for a kidney? I am only asking for budgeting purposes.