Saima Qureshi says mothers should 'step back' when children marry

Actor says Pakistani seniors often lose purpose with age, should pursue hobbies rather than complaints, gossip

Actor Saima Qureshi appeared on NJ Studios' podcast The Light Within, hosted by Misbah Khalid, where she discussed motherhood, generational change, and the importance of elderly people staying active through hobbies.

Qureshi shared her views on family dynamics, independence, and parenting: “I would say that you should not be dependent on your parents," she said.

"Times are very difficult. God forbid you have to be dependent on yourself and don’t fulfill the expectations of your parents, life will get hard," the actor stated, adding "It is different if you have successful children to take care of you. That is a jackpot.”

 

 

 

 

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Qureshi also reflected on how relationships between parents and adult children evolve. “Even when our kids grow older, they are still our babies, even though they are not actually babies," she stated. "Their own personal lives have started. They soon get new people and friends in their life and then they get married. They start to have different responsibilities,” Qureshi added.

On parenting boundaries and letting children grow, she noted, “I’ve seen some mothers struggle to ‘retire’ from parenting. When children get married, mothers should step back, because otherwise they continue to assert control,” she said. The host also pitched in, saying that children are individuals, not possessions, and emphasising that forcing control often pushes them away, while letting go allows relationships to naturally strengthen.

Beyond family dynamics, Qureshi discussed ageing and staying active, saying that elderly people often lose purpose or routine in Pakistani society. “The problem starts in old age. When parents get older, they often have nothing to do," she said. "In Pakistan, there is a mindset that once we are old, we are finished. Age is just a number," Qureshi noted.

She compared this to lifestyles that she has observed abroad, saying, “I have traveled around the world and seen elderly people staying active: wearing heels, walking in malls, traveling." However, regarding Pakistan, Qureshi noted that "there is less activity, and focus often shifts only to children and daughters-in-law, with complaints becoming routine.”

Qureshi also spoke about emotional discipline and spirituality, noting, “When I am free, I don’t engage in unnecessary conversations with house staff or get angry. We should follow prayer and fasting, but also the real concept of giving.”

She encouraged Pakistani seniors to remain active and stay engaged through meaningful activities. “You should keep yourself busy. Get a hobby, build friendships, learn knitting, find a talent. Stay active.” the actor advised.

Discussing generosity and good deeds, Qureshi concluded by saying, “No matter where you are, remember this principle: people should give. Allah says to give as if you forget your own sins. When you do good, you don’t need to ask for a return, rather Allah will reward you.”

Qureshi, daughter of film star Rozina, is a veteran television actor known for starring in numerous dramas over her nearly two-decade-long career. Her hit serials include Nand (2020), Juda Huay Kuch is Tarha (2021), Nehar (2022), and many more.