The parallel universe

Among the common sites during the wedding season in the country, which happens to be upon us once again, near the hotels and the wedding marquees, are rows of cars with drivers in them. They wait for hours, outside, and rarely are invited inside the halls. The food that they can smell from just a feet away is not a guarantee and becomes available only if the host is generous and is there is plenty leftover. In the summer wedding season, the same drivers are at the mercy of a scorching weather, while everyone else gets to be inside the air-conditioned rooms. To many of my friends and family, there is nothing unusual or problematic about this scene that plays out in hundreds of venues in dozens of cities every day all around the country. But let us think about it deeply. What if - for the sake of argument - we are the driver? Their parent or their sibling? Would we be OK with the fossilised stratification that exists? Every time I have asked a friend or a family member to do this thought experiment (of changing our position with theirs), it ends in them dismissing of the premise, or a reminder to me that I do not understand the culture or the 'ground realities'. The end of that conversation is never pleasant.

I have long thought about the issues that have become normal and accepted when it comes to treating others who may have less than us, and I have realised two interconnected things. First, I do believe that most people are not acting because of some deep malice or hatred (though there are some deeply problematic exceptions), and second, most people simply don't care. In my experience, and observation, it is the second that allows for the system to exploit the weak, for injustice to continue and perpetuate, and for the us to disregard how to treat others with dignity and respect. Yet, it is because of the first that I remain hopeful.

The problem of indifference and apathy is not limited to how we treat those who provide essential services in our homes and workplaces. At a broader level, if we bring up the issue of how refugees are being treated and why we should deport those who have broken no law, those who are ill and seeking treatment in hospitals, or those finishing their degrees - some would have problematic and racist positions, some would be sympathetic, but a large number would simply not care. And because many do not care, they may not be interested in engaging in serious discussions about solutions that put human dignity at the core. They may also be unwilling to challenge the prevailing narrative, not because they are not smart, or incapable of thinking deeply, but simply because they just don't care.

Let us go even further. Within the last couple of months, there have been horrific reports of mass killings in Sudan, particularly in El Fasher. Estimates (based on interviews and satellite imagery) suggest anywhere from 30,000 to 100,000 people were killed in a six-week period. The Rapid Support Force (RSF), the main militia group in Sudanese civil war, did the killings as it seized El Fasher. Apart from boiler plate statements from the foreign office, there has not been any serious discussion in the media or the public at large about El Fasher. In fact, there has been complete silence on the role of countries that have long been seen as the backbone of logistical, material and financial support to RSF. As I reflect on the silence, I come to the same conclusion about apathy and indifference.

As we look to the next year, and come up with a to-do list in the form of resolutions, perhaps we should consider actual caring for others as a thing to do while imagining a parallel universe where we do not have the privilege we enjoy right now. Imagine ourselves as the driver in the sun waiting for hours, a refugee with deportation summons in the hospital, a child trying to flee El Fasher. Perhaps the us in this universe can care for the us in that parallel one?