Postpartum depression is crazy: Sarwat Gilani

Mother-of-three talks depression, relationships

Trending reels of peacefully sleeping newborns and beaming babies may tug on your heartstrings, but as any postpartum mother knows, the gulf between reality and social media is as wide as it is deep. Sarwat Gilani, actor and mother-of-three, spoke candidly about her gruelling experience with postpartum depression on Ayesha Omar's show Speak Easy.

"Postpartum depression is crazy," observed the Churails actor. "I didn't even want to look at my daughter for a while. But Allah gets you through this, and Allah also gets you out of this."

Sarwat spoke about how her postpartum depression was so acute that she considered taking her life during one stage, despite having a supportive spouse by her side.

"My husband felt helpless," she recalled. "He was there on the surface, but inside, I was so alone. I would feel guilty and I would be crying. These are all thoughts related to depression – and not just postpartum depression. It can be related to anything – marriage, finance, break-ups. There isn't just one reason."

It is important to note that when experiencing depression, be it postpartum or otherwise, seeking medical help and therapy is the optimum course of action, as willpower alone may not always be sufficient.

Sarwat is no longer in the grips of depression and is also armed with tips for a healthy marriage to nurture one's mental health (and relationships). "Respect boundaries with your spouse and your in-laws," she urged.

In addition to maintaining boundaries, Sarwat gently noted that it is unrealistic to harbour high expectations from one's husband if he is bearing the brunt of the financial responsibility for the family. "I wouldn't say compromise but be a bit more understanding," she advised. "Don't be materialistically demanding, because a lot of times, the financial situation is such that it is too much for one person. If you can help yourself financially, do it. It's ok, especially if is running the whole house and the kids and everything."

To keep conflict at bay, Sarwat also stressed the necessity of always resolving lingering issues before the day's end and dispensing with feelings of bitterness or resentment. "Never fight and sleep!" she maintained. "Always resolve the issue!"

Finally, Sarwat pointed to the importance of always being each other's biggest cheerleader. "Celebrate each other for who they are and how they want to excel and change," she explained. "Accept them and appreciate them and help them go places."