Turning heartbreak into harmony

How losing custody of her children impacted Sanam Marvi's music

A frequently mentioned name in the world of Sufi music, Sanam Marvi recently opened up about the heartbreaking personal journey that has influenced her artistry. In a conversation on Zabardast With Wasi Shah, Marvi shared the trials of her marriage, divorce, and the wrenching experience of losing custody of her three sons.

Marvi's story isn't just about the public struggles of a musician but the deeply private battles that often go unnoticed by the public. "Life has its ups and downs and my life has completely changed in the last four or five years," she confided. The artist, known for her powerful voice and soulful performances, found herself navigating a maze of courtrooms and legal battles, a world far removed from her artistic sanctuary. "When I separated from my husband and my children were made to live with him, I saw a lot of things through the entire process. I'm an artist and artists don't usually see the inside of a court room or prison."

It's a striking contrast to the typical image of a performing artist. Marvi's battle for her children meant rising at the crack of dawn to plead with judges—a scenario as foreign to her as it would be to many. "I still am not able to meet them that often," revealed the singer.

Persevering through pain

Yet, Marvi's story isn't solely one of hardship; it's also about resilience and transformation. As she reflected on her journey, she noted a surprising shift in her self-perception and artistic output. "Before this, I used to be the biggest critic of my work. I would find faults in the smallest things. Now, I feel my voice is better."

The grief of losing regular contact with her children, captured beautifully through her voice, has given her music a new depth. "I miss my sons whenever I remember something, or I see a picture of them, and a mother feeling those emotions is higher than all else," she explained. Such raw emotion inevitably infuses her work with a richer, more nuanced quality, transforming her music from mere performance into a powerful, emotional narrative.

In the midst of this heavy conversation, Marvi's vibrant spirit shone through in a particularly memorable moment. As if to demonstrate the very essence of her transformative experience, she spontaneously burst into song. The performance wasn't just a display of her vocal talent but a genuine outpouring of the very emotions she was discussing. It was a testament to how deeply intertwined her personal experiences are with her music.

Pondering the changes in her life, Marvi noted that the shift from a bustling household of four children to a quieter existence with only her daughter left her with a profound sense of isolation. "It's also a shock when you have a house full of four children and then suddenly it's only you and your daughter left behind," she said.

Dream duets

Her recent collaborations, including her dream duet with Abida Parveen on Ishq Namaz and various projects with artists from other countries including India, illustrate the fruitful outcome of this period of introspection and renewal. "I found solace in my work. That's when I did my duets. The Abida Parveen duet was a lifelong dream, and apart from that I worked with a lot of artists from our neighbouring country."

Talking more about Parveen and her collaboration, Marvi revealed that the Sufi legend is indeed her teacher, not just someone she looks up to, or asks for advice once in a while. "My father was a well-known music teacher; it was through his direction that I ended up under the tutelage of Abida Ji." But the only drawback of having such a famous teacher is that they don't always have time for their students. "She's of course a very busy person, so I would learn from her whenever she had time. When she was busy, I was learning from my father. I would always go to her for advice or short sessions whenever she was available." When asked if she could choose any one of Abida Parveen's works as her favourite, Marvi refused until she eventually gave in and revealed it to be "one extremely close" to her heart, which she even sang for the audience.