As the Ramazan crescent rises in the west every year, there comes a time when everyone up and down the country can be split into two groups. The first group consists of the folk are the ones who swear by fruit chaat and, as sure as the sun comes every morning, they will find ways of producing it at the table every evening.
The second group are the ones upon whom the whims of the first group are inflicted. These are the hapless folk who, as Akbar Chaudhry and Ali Gul Pir so eloquently expressed in a recent podcast, agree that there can be no culinary crime greater than cutting up perfectly innocent fruit, lathering it with orange juice and, as the final nail in the coffin, murdering it with a dash of chaat masala.
““Fruits should be eaten as is. Stop adding masalas to your fruits to create this abomination,” decreed Pir in no uncertain terms. For anyone still on the fence, Chaudhry declared the aforementioned abomination a “sugary salan” and added “I hate it with a passion.”
Of course, there is no real need for apples, oranges, bananas and grapes (and even pineapple, for the bold and daring) to be so carelessly slaughtered in the name of Chaudhry’s sugary salan. Here are four far less offensive ways of incorporating fruit into your diet if you agree that getting in your five-a-day is a good idea.
1. Whizz up a fruit chiller.
Whipping up a fruit chiller drink (or a smoothie minus the dairy) takes just minutes to put together and is a must in hot weather. Cut an apple or two (no need to peel), a sliver of peeled ginger, a handful of ice cubes, a dash of honey, a glass of cold water, and give it a whizz in the blender to enjoy a glass of ice-cold refreshing heaven. There is no hardcore chemistry involved. Unlike baking, you can go rogue and put whatever and however much you want. If you want to really jazz things up, you can throw in an orange, or a handful of melon, a slice of watermelon – or all three. Alternatively, if apples aren’t your thing, you can throw together strawberries and limopani and give it a whizz. The blender is your friend, and sky is your limit, and the world is your oyster. Be bold and venture forth.
2. Have fruit on its own without introducing chaat masala into the mix.
That’s right! Whilst it may come as a surprise to some, there is actually very little in the Pakistani constitution pertaining to the combination of chaat masala and fruit. Cut up cubes of melon to have as dessert after you’ve inhaled your samosas and pakoras at ifrari. Slice up apples to go on the side. Have an orange or pomegranate for dessert afterwards. Do it all far away from the tentacles of kala namak or chaat masala. Your body will thank you. If you think your fruit is looking far too lonely all on its own, put it all together and drizzle it with lemon juice and honey and enjoy your pseudo fruit chaat.
3. Strawberries dipped in chocolate
If you want to go really left field, treat yourself with a bowl of melted chocolate and another bowl of melted chocolate. Chop off the ends of the strawberries, and dip in melted chocolate. If you use dark chocolate, rich in antioxidants if consumed in small enough quantities, you can even, without engaging in one second of guilt, tell yourself that your treat is not only delicious, it is nutritious.
4. Put together a fruit dessert
Finally, you may want to astonish your household and go even more left field. If you are fortunate enough to have ample time and even more ample supply of gas (or a convection oven in your microwave), turn your back on bakeries and make yourself a simple no-fuss-no-muss apple pie. All you need is unsalted butter, sugar, eggs, vanilla, flour, baking powder, and four apples. Heat your oven to 180C and knead together 4oz unsalted butter, 1oz sugar, 1 egg and vanilla, 10oz flour and 1tsp baking powder. Split your dough into two balls and roll out one ball into your dish. Top this with four chopped and peeled apples, a dash of ground cinnamon, as much lemon zest as you fancy, 2oz sugar and a handful of crushed walnuts or crushed almonds. Roll out the remaining dough, spread on top, brush with egg and vanilla, and bake at 180C for 30 minutes.
Constructing an apple pie may seem like a headache but is worth its weight in gold and gets easier every time. If, however, the idea is too unappealing to even consider, there is always the tried and tested classic fruit-and-custard combination. Make your custard and put in apples, bananas and grapes. Not only will you fulfil having three of your five-a-day, with dairy in the mix, a fruit custard can be considered an excellent part of a balanced diet.
So there you have it. Four way – some easy, and some not so easy – ways to have fruit and avoid fruit chaat at the same time. It’s a culinary win for the fruit chaat haters all around.
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