1. Morning shows. Call me boring and old fashioned, but I’m more disturbed than entertained when I see heavily made up middle-aged aunties hopping around singing Ringa-Ringa-Roses and acting like lovestruck teenyboppers on air! With the hideous amount of money these morning show hosts are making these days, is it a crime to expect a bit more maturity and ‘content’ on their shows?
2. The god-awful ads. Not so much the quantity but quality, For twenty odd years I have watched every household item under the sun being sold by singing housewives … which is plain sad — and frustrating — considering the amount of ‘talent’ and ‘creativity’ we supposedly possess!
3. Political analysts hogging prime time. Granted they’re our saviours and they keep us up-to-date on the latest misadventures of our brilliant, self-effacing leaders, but seriously…the very sight of some of these rowdy and heavily opinionated ‘celebrity anchors’ with their anything-to-up-my-ratings antics is reason enough to dread watching Paki telly post 8pm!
4. Celebrity witchdoctors with their implausible totkas — no, you won’t turn into Snow White by applying a mixture of crushed garlic, rose petals, red ants and lizard poo on your face!
5. Breaking news fixation. This just in: Kareena Kapoor went to the loo three times today instead of two. Also, Pir Pagara suggests we buck up because he can hear, once again, the sweet thud of army boots marching towards parliament. Seriously?
6. Middle-aged protagonists playing twenty-something kids — I won’t take names, but you know who you are, so do yourselves a favour and stop accepting roles that should ideally go to actors that don’t need to inject their faces with Botox just to look the part!
7. Desi ghost hunters — you’ve got to be kidding me!
8. The drama content. But then, if our producers think it’s A-OK to address every societal issue under the sun right from extramarital affairs and illegitimate children to rape and prostitution at prime time sans any rating whatsoever, then who am I to object?
9. The slapstick political humour and mimicry. Seriously, a bald impersonator dressing up in white shalwar-kameez-coatee and affecting a Yoda brogue to mimic Nawaz Sharif was hilarious five years ago because it was, well, original. Today, it’s plain annoying!
10. All the food — people are dying of hunger in our country for crying out loud! Stop shoving qormas and biryanis and Zinger burgers and pizzas in our faces day in and out!
Published in The Express Tribune, Sunday Magazine, September 4th, 2011.
COMMENTS (37)
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I love Pakistani channels,the drama serials of hum,PTV are ausome.informative talk shows ,cooking shows.............very nice.
Its funny how everyone gets to comment on the author's personal choice. Its so generic for us to poke our noses in everyone's affair. I mean if he doesn't like the cooking show let it be. It's the job of the TV channel to cater to everyone's choice. I think he's trying to imply is how monotonous TV has gotten over the years. Bring something new to the table.
Agreed with the last point. Everyday they have something new. i mean how come? plus it is not affordable for everybody.
How about not watching T.V.?Reading a good book?go to goggle and do some research?There are eleventeen ways to spend ones time,in the final analysis we will all kick the bucket,life is pointless and purposeless,one gets overwhelmed by the purposeless awesome nature of it.In most cases in 99 years your own great-great grandson wouldn't know your if you were here,food for thought.have a nice time with your Zaid Hammid,he is really healthy for your health if not for your brain.
Eh, some of ur points worth raising, may be all of them the way u raised them. But the plight is this is everything what our society thinks of a modern and free media, or may b they r forced to think so by the same people who r the hosts. These people r simply overdoing everything they should hav underdone and vice versa.
I think I agree a hundred percent with all the 10 points! very well written and aptly highlighted. Pakistani television producers need to step into the 21st century and pay a little more attention to the content they show on their channels.
If I had to add anything to the list, I'd add the confused naat quiz shows, the "dare" show that long haired dude hosts and and the horrible rip off of Who's Line is it Anyway I recently saw on one of the channels. It was criminal!
@Writer
Don't know what you like but i agree with your take on morning shows. Nothing is more boring than morning shows these days. Rest can be tolerated.
Saad Z, you're almost as funny as me!
wasnt this column supposed to be funny once a upon a time? severely lack wit and pun...
@gp65: I agree with your two last examples.
@waheed: Thank you
I so agree with 7!
Brilliant..
i agree with the writer 100%. bravo!
Desi Ghost hunters..... hahahhahahha. That was epic! But come to think of it, what do you exactly want: Only one channel (PTV) with limited potential of entertainment or a 100 channels with a variety of different programs to pick and choose from? Television, all over the world, has succumbed to the low life entertainment values that your article mentions. But, it's not TV's fault that people actually like to see the "celebrity anchors" perform their magic and make politicians say objectionable and sometimes hilarious things on live TV. The cooking programs is the only source of entertainment for many housewives in the middle class families and so on and so forth. My point is that everything shown on TV, most of which is mentioned in your article, is there because people love it. If these are the ten things you actually hate about TV then I propose that you move to the Easter Islands (where there is no TV) or just stick to the the internet only for the purpose of entertainment. Because you (as a minority) might have a problem with it but the majority actually doesn't.
Spot on!
@Nida Feroz: "Accroding to you what should be shown on Pakistani TV channels?"
Some suggestions: - reality shows that allow talented Pakistanis in different spheres to break out of their anonymity and get some national fame and hopefully lucre. - covering some social issues (not just as one story but as an ongoing series) i.e. illiteracy, infant mortality, hunger, karo-kari, honour killings etc. Not just scale of the issue but root causes, organizations and government program sin place to address these issues, laws needed and progress over a period of time. - Sports - Shows that present science, scientific ideas in an interesting way - Game shows that test general knowledge, vocabulary etc. There are many international shows whose formats can be customized for Pakistani audience - World news (on issues unconnected to Pakistan)
CLARIFICATION: By 'objectionable' i meant things shown without any thought given to who might be watching at a given time. Usually mature content and topics are shown after primetime allover the world.
Writer want to close the channels. I agree only morning shows & dramas are ridiculous in content n faces. But politely fights make our people aware of their corruption.
I agree with a lot of 'questionable' mature content being aired on prime time without any ratings. Not only that but the new found liberty the media has received which being used excessively. i.e. holding and touching of female actresses by the male colleges.
I understand if the character and situation requires it but its being used so much that it looks unrealistic. The girl is emotionally unstable so she must be consoled by her male friend by being held in his arms. Disgusting. This amount of touchy-feally isn't showed on western tv channels. It's starting to look more like drama makers are bunch of perverts than liberal artists.
One of the possible readings of this article could be...we do need a media watchdog in our country. I do notice some very objectionable things shown pre-watershed on our tv and just keep wondering that given the illiteracy rate of our country how those things would be perceived. On the other hand what you just dissed in the list are the key ingredients of any bourgeoise media...here or abroad...might it be that you need to take things in their context a little?
lol @ celeb witch doctors! i agree a hundred percent with all points! esp point 3, 4 and 8!
@sawy i fully agree with you i am sick and tired of indian content.Otherwise point no 1 and 6 are well pointed out.
The writer should mention that if these things shouldn't be on media then what else should be there?
It is sponsored by India
The author supposedly likes indian drama channels and soaps..!! that's why he didnt complain about indian award shows and content running on our channels for hours.!!
Agreed Almost!!
i realy appreciate with nida's comments...Accroding to you what should be shown on Pakistani TV channels?????
what's up with the islamification of everything on our tv in recent times.every channel has the maulvi with endless relgious wisdom oozing from his every pore,right onto a largely illeterate public.
very apt and appropriately written. agree hundred and thousand times with the writer. dramas and cooking shows shud be given a particular period of run time for the house wives plus with the right cast. and pls put a stop to those horrific morning shows which only portray bollywood culture and films... sorry but thats true! also u forgot to mention the hideous trend of wedding shows that have started recently showing all the shadi functions of any random couple like the whole nation is dying to see their private affair. I wonder what happened to our music channels since they were our last hope as the only channels showing our true Paki songs.
Great read. Agreed with all except No:10. Our cooking shows are great. My wife is a die hard fan of Shireen Anwar and lets be honest these shows have brought a Rs.200 burger into the average house hold at Rs 50. ( just one example) and the cherry on the top is that the shows are aired live.
Apparently the writer has objections on everything that is shown on Pakistani TV channels. I agree to this artcile to some extent but not all. I have a question for this writer. Accroding to you what should be shown on Pakistani TV channels?