Why speak now: Nauman Ijaz shames Ayesha Omar for coming out with her #MeToo story

Host made fellow actor extremely uncomfortable on live television with his presumptuous questions

Actor and host Nauman Ijaz has landed himself in hot waters for making fellow actor and guest Ayesha Omar extremely uncomfortable on live television with his presumptuous questions. A clip from the show that has been doing the rounds lately sees the veteran telling the Bulbulay star that she is known to “spark controversies” before he asks her if she does it “intentionally”.

He then discourages her for bringing her past traumas – referring to her harassment ordeal – into the limelight “for popularity or to jump a bandwagon.” He starts off by saying, “Kabhi apki bold shoots aa jati hain, kuch ap statements aise dedeti hain. I personally feel that if a person has gone through something in the past, it doesn’t mean they should start talking about it publicly just because they saw someone else do the same. You’re at a risk of damaging your image.”

To this, Ayesha interjects, “Ah… yes, it appears to be a foot in the mouth thing, I feel that too. But kisi ko dekh ke nahi, (I don’t do it because someone else did it).” Before she can finish, Nauman intervenes, “Aesi kya zarurat parh jati hai (What is the need for it)? Why do we forget that the society we live in, it will become difficult for us to survive because people here are not as aware?”

Partially agreeing to his view point, Ayesha replies, “Yes, I do tend to forget that but I need to follow my truth. When I feel that the truth needs to be said, I say it.” Unhinged, Nauman goes on to inquire rather suggestively, “Tou apko laga ke aesa karke bohat apki wah wah hogae (So by speaking your truth, do you think you got a lot of praise)?”

Ayesha, holding her ground, tries to make him understand, “No, but I don’t do everything for wah wah (praise).” Nauman asks, “Then what do you do it for?” The Karachi Se Lahore actor replies, “At the end of the day, you do it for your personal satisfaction. You need to answer to yourself, right?” Unconvinced and appearing almost disappointed, Nauman replies, “I don’t think so.” But Ayesha still makes it a point to courteously add, “I think so. At the end of the day, it is between you and your God. And to be clear, I’ve never named anyone, I’ve never put anyone on the spot like that.”

Failing to meet her halfway, Nauman probes incessantly, “Were you speaking in support of a person or a movement?” Ayesha denies having spoken out of support for any affiliations. He then insensitively inquires, “But did anyone even ask you?” Visibly annoyed by now, Ayesha makes it clear, “Yes, I was asked, not once, but by many. And I never said anything as openly as you’re presenting.” The Mrs & Mr Shameem actor retorts, “But it came out…”

At this point, Ayesha wards off his incriminating manner of questioning by saying, “I don’t even know what you’re talking about. But I’ll say, okay…” Nauman finally simplifies, “I was actually discussing your harassment… thing.” Looking down, Ayesha manages to maintain her calm and replies rather respectfully, “Nauman bhai, I have been through it myself. And I never spoke about it. For years I suppressed the matter and my feelings.”

Without showing a hint of sympathy, Nauman tells her, “Tou guzarne detin, taasub ko develop karne ki kya zarurat thi (So why speak now? You could’ve just let it pass. Why propagate discernment)?” Ayesha, without flaring up or getting offended, goes on to elaborate, “On the flip side, there are people out there, who, when they see an influential figure speak about their ordeal, it inspires them. It humanizes us in their eyes and they don’t feel alone anymore. And there are so many women who are going through so much but they never speak up about it. I didn’t speak about it for 15 years too, not even to my best friend. And then when one person, having suffered a similar fate, came out, it gave me the strength to talk about what happened to me. And it is more important to me, than getting wah wahs, that we influence someone’s life positively.”

The conversation ends but it is pertinent to mention here that in 2019, Ayesha opened up about being sexually assaulted by someone influential in the industry. Without naming the accused, she shared her ordeal with Hollywood star Rose McGowan – the actor who propelled the downfall of Hollywood mogul Harvey Weinstein.

In an interview with Waseem Badami on a local news channel in 2020, Ayesha recalled, “I had just joined the industry, I was hardly 22 years old. He was a man of power and I was scared to go against him. I did not have the courage to tell anyone about it. I’m sorry about that. I am sorry to the person I was; had I shared it then, I would have been a stronger person today. A lot of other girls also suffered at the hands of the same person. Had I spoken up against him then, maybe he might have stopped.”

She had made it clear then how difficult it is for any victim of sexual harassment to revisit their trauma and talk about it, especially with everything that’s at stake. Tearing up, she later added on Instagram, "Not sure if I’ve ever cried on live television before. To be able to let your guard down and be vulnerable, to be able to talk about your painful and terrifying experiences from an honest place, to relive and recall traumatic times, to describe your feelings – it’s not easy.”

Perhaps it’s about time hosts, particularly from our entertainment fraternity, received sensitivity training before being allowed to gauge subjects that could be hurtful and triggering to guests and those watching. During the show, Naumaan is even seen joking about Ayesha’s dress by saying, “When you knew you had to come to my show, why did you show up in a night suit?” Laughing along, Ayesha tells him, “This is to maintain the comfort zone. I’m joking, it’s not a night suit yaar.”

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