Maryam Nawaz's right to feel beautiful cannot be tainted by ageist comments

The PML-N vice president recently drew ageist ire for looking too good at her son’s wedding

KARACHI:

 In a society so ferociously opposed to the inevitable process of ageing, particularly when it comes to women, silver strands of hair and laughter lines feel like a social death sentence. In Pakistan, beauty does not fall in the domain of older women. If by chance, an aged woman, no matter how powerful, chooses to claim it for herself either by holding on to youth or by rebelling against society’s repressive standards of who can and cannot be deemed beautiful, she faces a crowd, armed with pitchforks of (hopefully) the virtual variety, ready to charge straight at her. Maryam Nawaz, despite the power she yields in Pakistani society, finds herself damned to the same fate which no amount of wealth or social capital can protect a woman from.

After pictures of the wedding ceremony of the politician’s son, Junaid Safdar, flooded social media, Maryam found herself in the eye of an inevitable storm. Her crime? She looked stunning, perfectly in line with societal standards on ‘youthful’ beauty. Twitter became engulfed in discussions about Maryam’s outfits and makeup at the events, dealing mainly with how a woman bordering on the age of 50 dared to look ‘beautiful’ and how a mother looking too good at her son’s wedding is an injustice to the bride. Maryam’s choices were to be limited to Kashmiri shawls and shalwar-kameez of the pastel-toned variety. Muted. Understated. Fit for a woman of 50, whose prime responsibility is to be unassuming and invisible.

Maryam showed up to her son’s events decked in designer-wear, twinkling in mirror work lehengas and a full face of professionally-done makeup with flowers arranged in her hair. Twitter, as expected, unleashed its wrath upon the PML-N vice president, accusing her of stealing the bride’s thunder and “spoiling her day”, antagonising the politician by pitting her against her own daughter-in-law. The immense success of the saas-bahu saga in desi pop culture hasn’t been by chance, and Pakistani society loves to insert the narrative into any domestic setting possible.

If classlessness had a face, it would look like this. Among 220 million people living in Pakistan, only Maryam Nawaz could be the Saas to spoil the big day of her Bahu... pic.twitter.com/XIvOnmIgks

— Katherine (@jawairiasyed) December 13, 2021

However, defences were also presented on Twitter in favour of Maryam Nawaz and her right to feel beautiful and enjoy a party. One wrote, “So nauseating to see young feminists here age-shaming Maryam Nawaz. I thought we all agreed that women are allowed to dress as vibrantly as they want?” Another expressed their anger through sarcasm, writing, “The mother of the bride or groom should look old and haggard, should wear a simple ‘beige’ dress while shrivelled in a corner. How dare Maryam Nawaz look stunning?”

The mother of the bride or groom should look old and haggard, should wear a simple "beige" dress while shriveled in a corner. How dare Maryam Nawaz look stunning?!?!

— Zainab (@Syyeda14) December 13, 2021

Another user laid bare the structural antagonisation of women who are unapologetic about how they present themselves, and how the issue only becomes worse as the woman advances in age. They wrote, “Women have always been policed on their fashion choices. Makeup, show of skin, age 'appropriate'  -- the list is long. There's a reason female actors don't get roles once they hit a certain age. We can't imagine an 'older' (relative term) woman having fun or wanting to look good.”

Women have always been policed on their fashion choices. Makeup, show of skin, age 'appropriate' -- the list is long. There's a reason female actors don't get roles once they hit a certain age. We can't imagine an 'older' (relative term) woman having fun or wanting to look good

— Zebunnisa Burki (@zburki) December 13, 2021

On the unfairness of it all, another tweeted, “An attack on a woman who is looking after herself. Why don't people ever attack male politicians or men who use Botox, fillers, hair dye and more?” They added in a separate tweet,  advocating for a woman’s right to feel beautiful, “I do not know a single woman who is not consistently looking for ways to look good as a form of self-care. Clothes, jewellery, shoes, makeup, creams, surgery. And why not? If it helps one to look and feel good, go for it. God knows we suffer so much anyway.”

This is really unfair. An attack on a woman who is looking after herself. Why don't people ever attack male politicians or men who use Botox, fillers, hair dye and more? Women as a whole age due to marriage, childbirth, child rearing, handling society and more. https://t.co/WPjsfBuJFq

— Mehr Husain (@mfhusayn) December 12, 2021

The fact that male politicians, particularly PM Imran Khan, whose good looks are often considered one of the highlights of his resume, are not subjected to the same level of physical scrutiny, was also stressed upon. A user asked, “So, Imran Khan can be ‘handsome’ at the age of 69, but Maryam Nawaz cannot be beautiful at the age of 48?”

So Imran Khan can be "handsome" at the age of 69, but Maryam Nawaz cannot be beautiful at the age of 48? 🤔

— Aima Khosa (@aimaMK) December 11, 2021

The tweet was followed by people highlighting how the PM, as far as his followers are aware, embraces his age, while Maryam tries to hide hers. A user responded to the tweet, writing, “Imran Khan does not require thousands of pounds of surgery, botox and makeup to look good. The fact that you are comparing a 69-year-old man vs 48-year-old woman already ends the arguments of the looks category.”

Khans beauty is not in his face,it’s in his character. Furthermore Imran Khan does not require thousands of pounds of surgery, botox and makeup to look good. The fact that you are comparing a 69 year old man vs 48yr old woman already ends the arguments of the looks catergory

— Ali (@Ali0103Ali) December 11, 2021

On the surface level, the argument makes sense, until one realises that the option for a woman to look ‘beautiful’ and be subjected to admiration on the basis of her looks vanishes with the first sign of ageing. Politics aside, when it comes to matters of social acceptance, the playing field has never been even