10 reasons why 'Friends' haters are just sad

If the only trick you have up your sleeve is not liking 'Friends', then you are as shallow as Indian comedy

With the recent Friends reunion, it seems as though hate for the popular 90s show and its cast of incredibly beloved unlovable white characters is just about ready to burst straight out of the ground like hot lava. Friends: The Reunion brings stars Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox, Lisa Kudrow, David Schwimmer, Matthew Perry and Matt LeBlanc back to the set for a tearful get-together, 17 years after the final episode of the show about the lives of 20-somethings in New York.

A reboot of the series itself, or a movie, is not planned. All six actors are now in their 50s. K-pop band BTS said they improved their English by watching it, football player David Beckham says the show makes him smile "almost to the point of crying," and Nobel Peace Prize winner Malala Yousafzai said a friend got her hooked on the comedy.

So, in all honesty, if the only trick you have up your sleeve in your rally against the sheeple is not liking Friends, then you are as shallow as Indian comedy. Imagine being a person who gets to brag about the least funny show in the history of funny shows not being a funny show. How sad and mediocre is that? 

1. That is sadder than Sajjad Ali writing a song about being dumped in another parallel universe as well, and this man has been dumped in them all. 

2. That is sadder than Humaima Malik’s contribution to and energy in singer Imran Khan’s PSL performance of Amplifier, which can be considered to be the equivalent of an unplugged wall charger. 

3. That is cadder than cpelling your name like the Hocane Princeccec.

4. That is sadder than yet another Manto film that does not do justice to Manto, this time brought to you by a Marx-loving, Faiz-worshipping diaspora uncle with a moorti of Bhagat Singh in his Manchester/Ontario/ Houston lounge. He could be Indian, Pakistani, or from Toba Tek Singh (for the sake of poetic justice). 

5. That is sadder than Nabila and Nadia Hussain brawling over a no-makeup palette. We mean, dude, there isn't even any makeup in there. 

6. That is sadder than Alizeh Shah’s harmless tank top in Sahir Ali Bagga’s Badnamiyan. All Bagga wanted was for Shah to match his glamour quotient, scale tou match ho nahin sakta tha. 

7. That is sadder than Ali Xeeshan’s anti-jahez marketing campaign. When is British Tobacco coming up with a cure for cancer? We need answers. 

8. That is sadder than Waseem Badami expressing concern over losses in tobacco exports. Maybe Velo should pick him for their next shady balcony dance. In any case, Badami is known to be found in random places so that shouldn't be a surprise. Just some madni moves and grooves. Pyara tou waisay hee itna hai. 

9. That is sadder than Shehroze Sabzwari's entire career, minus the naked run-on sea view. We're am sure it amused a few people, especially because it was more of post-iftar run, so the roza wasn't compromised.

10. That is sadder than us finding the time to write all this in the middle of a pandemic, while grading essays, working from home, crying over delayed payments from corporates, and guiding the maid, all this in the Karachi heat.