No more monkeys jumping on the bed

If Pakistan were a bed and these politicians monkeys, it’s not hard to imagine that my favourite thing on YouTube then would be the kids’ song above.

Nawaz Sharif and Zardari appearing on a video link for the much-hyped All Parties Conference (APC) felt like teenagers teaming up and with complete strangers over PlayStation or Xbox in their fight against a common adversary. Because teenagers don’t play the game to revolutionise the world or change the conditions of the people in the country they are in. The only difference is that teenagers do so to distract their own minds, the criminals disguised as leaders in Pakistan do to distract the people’s minds.

When Nawaz said the struggle of the opposition was not against Imran Khan but “against those who had imposed such an incapable person on the country through a rigged election”, his language can be deciphered even by those gaming teenagers to mean that Nawaz is not complaining about the people’s plight but about not being the “incapable person” imposed on the country by khalai makhlooq.

When Pakistan was about to become a nuclear state officially, it was Nawaz who was reluctant to stand up to India and the world. In 2015, when Nawaz was the PM, Modi visited Nawaz’s residence in Lahore. Modi, who is addicted to hating Muslims and Pakistan, was all cordial towards Nawaz. Later, we found Nawaz had business interests in India.

This is eerily similar to the Trump-Putin bromance. Putin wanted Trump to win the US presidential election in 2016. He’s still allegedly working in the shadows to help Trump win in 2020. Putin is doing so not because he thinks Trump would make America great again, but because he believes Trump could make Russia great again. No wonder, Modi is showing extreme anger towards Imran and Pakistan Army. They are Modi’s Hillary and Biden.

It’s also no surprise that the Indian media has jumped on Nawaz’s statement as a Godsend. For them, to discredit Pakistan, anything goes. It’s quite a display of chutzpah for Nawaz, Zardari, and their children to chant slogans about protecting Pakistan. Imran has rightly reminded us when he said, “I had predicted much earlier that they all would unite for personal interests.” And I might add, it’s the same cycle we have seen over and over again.

The cycle starts with these corrupt politicians losing an election followed by them crying foul. Their corrupt entrepreneurial activities are unearthed, to which their reaction is to get sick and go in self-imposed exile to escape the Pakistani customised air-conditioned jails. Abroad they enjoy a luxurious lifestyle while Pakistan’s poor pay the price of what their corrupt leaders had been doing to the economy. After many lazy days and nights and enough movie watching (since they don’t read books), they raise slogans about returning to protect Pakistan. This level of chutzpah is not even displayed by professional prostitutes.

For Nawaz to keep repeating the gibberish about Imran being installed by the army is the same as the dog-ate-my-homework excuse. He lost because someone cheated is very convenient. If it helps Nawaz sleep well at night, then he can keep repeating it to himself but to make noise about it to the country, and the world is filled with a more sinister agenda: maligning state institutions and providing India the much-needed fodder to create problems for Pakistan.

The truth is that real leaders don’t run away, they stay put and fight where the fight is. While Bilawal is trying and failing to look and act like his grandfather, Nawaz is acting successfully like his grandchildren.