Withstanding patriarchy in South Asian family culture

The impact of the patriarchal system can be felt across the board with its roots in various cultures and societies. It signifies a male-dominated structure in society with a longstanding tradition. As a complex phenomenon in itself, patriarchy leads to adverse physical and psychosocial effects on women’s health.

Gender defined norms and values in society are always found to dictate relationship expectations from men and women in whichever kind of relationship they find themselves in. As we grow up, we see it as a customary rule and obligation to follow the set norms. It has been often observed that during child rearing practices, girls are typically expected to learn and demonstrate maintenance of household work, like learning how to cook, wash dishes, do the laundry, take care of small kids at home, and serve meals. This practice has prevailed in hundreds of thousands of families where it has been unfortunately accepted as a social norm.

It is a high time now to address the imbalance in the power structure in the family, where women’s subjugation has been long exercised. One way to address the issue is to adapt a feminist approach and revisit the prevailing family norms, which can help us offload some domestic work from women and offer a sense of responsibility to men. For this to happen, a change has to be triggered in gender defined roles which will then translate into how boys and girls grow up in typical South Asian culture. Alongside this, it’s equally important to deliberate the role of change makers — key players in driving positive change in societies. A group of ambitious women (regardless of their marital status) can drive this change; they can be students (of both sex) at graduate or undergraduate level, members from any influential community or local group, family support, or friends who are willing to facilitate positive change in the existing family patriarchy.

To trigger change in the existing family patriarchal system, one should be mindful of widening the thinking horizon by meticulously proceeding with each step with careful attention on whom to engage at which stage. There is no any quick fix to this problem. However, perseverance and willingness to amend the existing family norms with customised tactics as per the family culture can help. Towards this effort, women who always remain at the serving end in the household should start building their capacities in become more assertive about their rights. With mutual consensus, some roles and responsibilities for household chores can be delegated to male members. Also, change needs to be brought in the mindset of the women who have blindly accepted the gender defined roles and have been sacrificing their entire lives, while undertaking the domestic work tirelessly. The major resistance in the entire process is not only anticipated from male members, but also from the mothers and mothers-in-law who have spent their life performing domestic tasks unquestionably and happily and will most likely be willing to follow the same.

Furthermore, the media can play a powerful role in triggering the change process. Many Pakistani drama serials are powerfully portraying the male dominant family culture. Media channels and production companies can proactively set trends in slightly reversing these roles by projecting empowering roles of women.

Unquestionably, if we as culprits of the patriarchal system will not unite and implement some measures to bring positive change in the existing family system, change is not going to happen and our next generation of women and others in kinship will continue to experience the same issues. It’s time to act now for a more balanced family culture.

Published in The Express Tribune, July 11^th, 2020.

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