Deconstructing the humiliation of May 2

In some ways the feelings of many Pakistanis following May 2 raid on Abbottabad are what rape victims feel.

So much is going on in our country. There is heated debate on political developments, events, power shortages, rising prices and law and order, but the dimension that is conspicuous by its absence in this national discourse is how all this is affecting our emotions. How are we feeling as a nation?

There are indicators. The rising number of suicides indicates we are depressed, street protests show we are angry, growing crime points to desperation. Overall, the mood seems more to be one of disillusionment, apathy and numbness. Each drone attack, each suicide bombing is merely one more statistic in what is now a long list of worries. Another new hike in prices, breakdown of power supply or shortage of basic commodities is yet another blow to an already semi-conscious body.

That’s how it was till May 2, when the Abbottabad raid occurred. What happened on May 2 seemed to jolt the nation awake. The people had numbed their senses to not feel any pain but this incident pierced straight through to their souls. It was, emotionally speaking, a watershed moment. As a health care professional who has worked with women victims of rape, I sensed something in common. Rape is described as a crime of power and not as a crime of sex. Men rape women to show their power over their victim. So it is with nations. Consider the similarities:

We were caught unaware. Our radars were ‘sleeping’ because we were not expecting an attack from our ‘ally’. Most women have extra-sensitive radars that are active all the time but they let down their guards for people they trust. The majority of rapes are carried out by acquaintances.

Our first reaction to the operation was how our military and intelligence could have allowed it to happen. Surely they were in on it. Most women, when they cannot show signs of resistance on their bodies, are accused of having colluded in the crime.

People said our policies of having sold out to the US were taken as an invitation for this sort of a violation. Women are often told that they ‘invite’ rape by behaving in certain ways.

People say they are feeling humiliated, shocked, hurt, angry, ashamed, dishonoured, violated and depressed. Women victims use the very same words.

Just as a grief stricken person sometimes has to be hit or shaken to face reality, this may have become the incident which has shaken people out of their apathy. Their senses have become heightened. Subsequently, when PNS Mehran happened, followed by Kharotabad, Shabqadar, Saleem Shahzad and the Rangers shooting, people felt the pain.

It is as if an emotional tipping point has been reached, which is what makes this moment in time extremely important. Good leaders who have their finger on the pulse of the nation would recognise this moment. Emotions are powerful stuff. ‘Psywar’ is an important strategy in modern warfare. A nation that is humiliated, depressed and has no self-respect is an easy enemy.

Rape victims can either be driven to suicide, revenge, murder or, given the right support and counseling, they can heal and come out stronger than before. Depending on how the emotions of our people are channelised by our leaders, we can either descend into chaos and anarchy or we, too, can emerge stronger.

Published in The Express Tribune, July 7^th, 2011.