Pakistan

Violence against women going unchecked

Nojeba Haider June 07, 2010

The lives of millions of women in Pakistan are circumscribed by traditions, which enforce extreme seclusion and submission to men, many of whom impose their control over women with violence.

For most part, women bear with stoicism, traditional male control over every aspect of their bodies, speech and behaviour. According to the Human Rights Commission of Pakistan, it is estimated that a woman is raped every two hours, a gang rape occurs every eight hours, and about 1,000 women die annually in honor killings.

I am not a feminist and I don’t believe men and women are created equal. I believe women are physically weaker than men but I also believe women deserve to be respected and are not meant to be objectified. Most women in Pakistan are illiterate and do not know that they do not deserve the violence that they experience, or that they have an option to resist it.

Therefore most of the violence against women, particularly in the domestic sphere, goes unreported. Approximately 70 per cent to 90 per cent of Pakistani women in rural areas are subjected to domestic violence. Typical violent acts include, murder in the name of “ honour” rape, spousal abuse including marital rape, acid attacks, and being burned by family members (often labelled an accident by family members). One recent example is the high profile case of Samia Sarwar who was murdered in her lawyer’s office in April of 1999 by her family because she was seeking a divorce from an abusive husband.

Even though Islamic law requires that both partners explicitly consent to marriage, women are often forced into marriages arranged by their fathers or tribal leaders. Another case involves 17 year-old Nagina Bibi from Tarali Kalan near Islamadad, who was engaged by her father to her cousin against her brothers will who wanted her to marry his brother in-law.

On April 14^th, 1999 Nagina’s brother saw her talking to the cousin chosen by their father on the street; he was accompanied by another brother who reportedly tied Nagina with a rope to a wooden post in their home, sprinkled kerosene over her and set her on fire. Neighbours had her admitted to a hospital with 75 per cent burns, which the family claimed it to be due to a stove bursting. Nagina told doctors that her brother had set her on fire because she had disobeyed him. Nagina died after 23 painful days in the hospital. It is not known at present if the brothers' case has gone to court.

Most people in our society use religious teachings to justify domestic violence. Women are subjected to discrimination and violence on a daily basis due to the cultural and religious norms that Pakistani society embraces. The Quran tells us time and again that women should not be treated harshly.

Yes, it is up to the government to pass bills for protection of women. However, the real power lies in the hands of the women themselves. They are the only ones who can protect their rights by taking a stand, but sadly they are petrified to such an extent that they believe they have no rights at all. It is up to us educated women to help educate these illiterate women, to educate them about the rights they have.

Media play a pivotal role in our society. Even little villages have television sets where women get together at night to watch dramas. I spoke to a few maids in different households and I was very surprised to see almost all of them were aware of the main actresses and models in the Pakistan media industry. My plea is to female celebrities in Pakistan who talk about women empowerment and seem to attend parties for charity almost every weekend; you as celebrities act as role models for many women in Pakistan. Why not use that strength to empower these women with the knowledge of their rights. There are many shelters for oppressed women in Pakistan, why not visit these shelters and help them regain control of their lives.

We can at least dedicate a day in a week of our lives to help these women. Violence against women can not be ignored. The success of combating violence against women depends on a change in prevailing societal norms and this process can only be expedited by the intervention of educated women.

Nojeba Haider is a corporate banker who tweets here

COMMENTS (14)

NMS | 13 years ago | Reply By happily embracing the negative definition of feminism and using it to declare you are NOT one, your article holds no weight for the millions of us who have no admitted defeat to the patriarchy. It is indeed possible to be a feminist and yet believe that one is not physically at par with the other gender. Feminism is a belief in making the world a better place. By declaring you are against it, you are not practising what you are preaching and pandering to misogynist norms.

Nojeba | 13 years ago | Reply Fatima Please understand i agree that domestic violence is present due to absence of education. I never denied that. I have been repeating time and again that education will help these women. I have not written this article based on what i assume from a room. I have been to shelters for women such as Ida Rieu and Panah. I have worked there and seen what kind of lives these women lead. I practice what i preach. Yes i agree with you education is the main root of this problem. Some of these women can be helped by educated women like me and you. Along with that I feel celebrities and people from the media can help these women too. I agree with you that many villages dont have televisions. But atleast urban slum areas do. ATleast the lives of a slight percentage of women can be can be changed that way. Its not just about television, my appeal was also to celebrities who have access to more resources to educate these women and to help these women instead of pooling their resources towards charity parties. TV One shows programmes which educated women about their rights. Shehzad Roy as a celebrity has worked for benefit of educating children. Why not other celebs. Maybe you got my point wrong. I quote " There are many shelters for oppressed women in Pakistan, why not visit these shelters and help them regain control of their lives." My appeal is not just through television, Iv appealed to them to visit and help these women as they have greater resources to do so. I agree with you about education and I am not discussing women belonging to a certain province or a certain but women of the whole of Pakistan. I am not discussing ethnicity here. I am discussing women in Pakistan here.

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Erin Doiron-Hartle | 13 years ago | Reply I hate to bring up the feminist comment again, but I am put off by your claiming that men and women are unequal based on mens biological strength. Personally, I believe it is just your place in society and how you are treated that measures ones "equality". Men and women are created equal, we are all created uniquely, and yet women are overwhelmingly put into a subordinate position worldwide. I agree with the comments you make about female celebrities speaking out on behalf of women who have been silenced by years of fear and violence. They can be vessels of hope for women who have no one and can spread messages respectedly to a vast audience. Women must work to pass on education and liberate the oppressed. Together we must blossom a consensus where it is understood that a better world is possible and that those that live with violence are not alone nor forgotten. Though, I do not believe that the social/religious/political overhaul rests on the movement of women alone. I believe it falls on the men aswell to step down from their privilege and to speak out against the widespread abuse of women in Pakistan (and everywhere). Until the sexes are allied on this issue I do not believe that there will be a revolution. I enjoyed your article, Religion has been used as an excuse to get away with a lot of atrocities. This is no exception. We must work on education of the masses and disbanding the popular chauvinistic ideals that all run without logic. The governments should also be held accountable for upholding this boys club and allowing for these acts of mysogyny to go pretty well un punished. Articles like this are a good way to spread word of the plight of women in places like Pakistan, but worldwide pressure needs to be applied to show these women their allies are everywhere. Coming together on a mass scale to battle male violence is one of the only ways that I see worldwide change and healing being able to occur. Women from every walk of life and every ethnicity suffer world wide and are put under men in their daily lives. Coming together and targeting these practices, along with putting these governments in the spotlight will hopefully lead to the end of these horrors and this unequality forever.

Ali | 13 years ago | Reply Fatima, You seem to be repeating the same over and over again. This is not a racial topic. why are you only emphasizing on Sindh and Sindhi women. Are oppressed women only Sindhi. Its all women from Pakistan we are referring to here. The problem with Pakistan is how people like you create differences between sindhis, baluchis, punjabis. Please come out of your little bubble of Sindh and look around you. Even Punjabis and Baluchi women are oppressed. Did you not hear of women in Baluchistan being buried alive? Its our racial differences that are destroying our country. It does not matter if you are SIndhi or Baluchi or Punjabi. Its a matter of all Pakistani women.

Hasan | 13 years ago | Reply Well said Nojeba Im sure you will make a good contribution to our society

Fatima Farhad-Babar | 13 years ago | Reply Nojeba,and to the rest,I live in Sindh hence know of the realities in the rural areas there. The definition of feminism is irrelevant and writing an article does not change ground realities, educated women like myself honestly do not take out an hour in a month or a week to do anything for the plight of these women,I don't think you do either Nojeba.Go to interior Sindh, see how they live.For them the only woman as an example of empowerment was BB.They cannot relate to someone.Also do you know most of them only speak Sindhi? How many Sindhi women do you have in the media who can reach out to them and impact them? Domestic violence is present due to an absence of education and proper legal processes.You can't write from a room on such fundamental issues and expect others to go fix them.Practice what your preach.

Sania | 13 years ago | Reply It makes me very sad to see that despite the fact that this article was written to protect women, for the rights of women...women themselves have written negative comments. Whether or not the author is a feminist or not does not matter. Whether there is television in some areas or not does not matter. What matters is that yes if educated women, celebrities and richer women ( the charity party ones) help these women it would make a difference. Its easier for them as they have resources. Whether the target market is a few women reached through television or by educated women going there in person. Even those few women would be made aware and would make a difference. This is a wake up call for people with greater resources, for educated women, you call yourselves educated yet you failed to see the whole point of this article.

Sarah | 13 years ago | Reply Sometimes feminist is taken to mean " a woman who hates men" From what i see in this article the author is not a mad man hater, therefore not a feminist. A woman cannot stand up for her rights by beating up a man because in 90% cases she is physically weaker, that is a scientific fact. But she can be made aware of the fact that she does not have to stand for it. Im glad someone has touched the point that our educated women and celebrities need to help these women because with their resources they can do much more. FATIMA do go into villages such as mubarak village, villages in punjab. You will be surprised after a long hard day in the fields these women have a joint hall for a village with one television where they all meet at night. Our scope should not be ltd to Sindh but to whole of Pakistan.

Nojeba | 13 years ago | Reply @ Fatima. Kindly read the definition feminism first. Also my plea is to working educated women and celebrities who can help educate these women and make them aware of their rights. Offcourse education is important, i mean thats what makes you and me different from them. We are educated are we not?

Fatima Farhad-Babar | 13 years ago | Reply I would like to point out that most villages in rural areas do not have access to basic needs such as food and water, electricity is a luxury for them Nojeba and since I have been into interior Sindh villages I disagree that women out there watch television.They are subjected to phenomenons such as bonded labour etc.Hence, if you have been to the rural areas then only can you make such a claim.You are raising issues such as rape, domestic violence etc and yet claiming you aren't a feminist? How will any woman reading this be empowered if women like yourself claim not to be advocates of "feminism". These women require an education a point that should be touched upon in your work, since that is one thing that no man can take away from you.

Maria Khan | 13 years ago | Reply The author is pulling herself out of the stereotypical label of feminism because it has a negative connotation in society. True feminism fights for women's rights but as the author has commented, she does not believe in equality of men and women but at least asks for basic rights to be given to women. There is truly nothing wrong with that. Women would like respect from their male counterparts, not be slaves to them. Nojeba has pointed out that marriages stop being so after being in loveless relationships, forcibly arranged between two people who might have nothing in common. It might be easier for us to demand basic rights, sitting in our air-conditioned homes, but awareness to such issues is a start and we must start somewhere, sometime.

Salman Latif | 13 years ago | Reply I agree with your rather specific approach towards addressing the issue. However, a more generic view of the society shall reveal that the issue could not be treated as stand-alone. Unless we undergo a social transoformation, giving up a part of our culture that thrives upon male chauvnism, and start to treat people equally, regardless of the gender, this issue would not be resolved. Education, too, is a key tool in rendering the gender biases null but we also have a large populace which takes pride in actively opposing any male-female on-campus interactions thus diminishing the possibility that to individuals, the futility of chauvnism-based arguments is revealed. One can only hope that things improve as we, as a society, seek solution to the degeneration into which we have receded, the women's abuse being among one of the chief concerns on the societal level.

nskyz | 13 years ago | Reply

“I am not a feminist and I don’t believe men and women are created equal” .In an article purporting to condemn violence against women,such statements provide justification for female subjugation even more.in our society i have observed women who despite getting beaten up horribly by their husbands,still defend him and cling on to their marriage,although such a relationship has long stopped being a marriage and is instead a form of slavery where the victim is too scared of social stigma and the ever pervasive fear of the loss of the financial support.

Agreed. Why the statement 'I am not a feminist'? Why is the author not identifying as a feminist while promoting better treatment of women? Is feminism not an important cause?

Yes, it is up to the government to pass bills for protection of women. However, the real power lies in the hands of the women themselves. They are the only ones who can protect their rights by taking a stand, but sadly they are petrified to such an extent that they believe they have no rights at all. It is up to us educated women to help educate these illiterate women, to educate them about the rights they have.

...that is precisely what it would mean to be a feminist - to rally for womens' rights. Lots of women and men are reluctant to identify as 'feminists' due to the connotations and supposed social stigma attached (feminism is a widely misunderstood concept, and many a times feminists are casually classified as 'man-haters', which an incorrect assumption and a generalization). Surely this is a contributing factor to women not knowing of or about all their rights. Isn't the inability to unite for a cause that is obviously meant to make them better off counter-productive?

arsalan ahmed | 13 years ago | Reply "I am not a feminist and I don’t believe men and women are created equal" .In an article purporting to condemn violence against women,such statements provide justification for female subjugation even more.in our society i have observed women who despite getting beaten up horribly by their husbands,still defend him and cling on to their marriage,although such a relationship has long stopped being a marriage and is instead a form of slavery where the victim is too scared of social stigma and the ever pervasive fear of the loss of the financial support.If girls prioritize on completing their education first instead of expending all their efforts on landing a rich guy they would be in a much better position in their life and not in such a weak position in their life.

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