Abuse comes in many shapes and sizes: verbal, psychological or physical. And each is torturous in its own way. When we come to know of anyone in an unhealthy or abusive relationship, our first reaction is always to question why said person simply doesn’t leave.
Unfortunately, things aren’t always that black and white. As compiled from Cosmopolitan, here are seven reasons why one chooses to stay in an abusive relationship, even when it’s driving them insane.
1) You think what you’re going through is normal
Everyone around you seems to be going through similar situations. This is particularly true of mental abuse. Society seems to integrate such behaviour into the normative, so it often goes unidentified.
2) It demolishes your self esteem
And starting anew, especially with someone else, seems impossible.
3) The ‘make-up honeymoon phase’
This phase comes after every incident of abuse. And more often than not, it seems to make the pain your significant other is causing you seem worthwhile. The only catch is that it isn’t.
4) It’s very hard to stick to your decision to break up
You can try to end the relationship many times but sticking to that decision is the real obstacle. One seems to fall back several times not only because the abuser comes crawling back with empty promises and excuses but also because suddenly, being alone seems worse. The only thing that is important here is patience: Only with time can one heal.
5) You feel it’s your fault
After a conflict, the abuser often turns the tables and manipulates their partner into feeling guilty. This phenomenon is also known as gaslighting.
6) You believe things will be better one day
You are certain the two of you will sort things out together. Sadly, this is almost never the case.
7) Social pressure to be in a relationship
Social media has worsened this to the point people are getting into relationships solely to show off on the internet. Put this together with the fear of ending up alone and you have a perfect candidate to stay in an abusive relationship.
And if you have a life together with children, finances or even mutual friends, the social embarrassment and pressure from family and friends might work as a jail keeper who never allows you to be free from the prison you’re trapped in.
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