People might be calling her crazy but Anna Kendrick is setting examples as she recently walked away from a relationship without a care.
In an interview with Elle magazine, the Pitch Perfect star spoke about the time she dumped a boyfriend who refused to respect her boundaries, reported HuffPost.
“I was dating a guy… He tickled me playfully, and I said, ‘I know that’s cute and people do it all the time but I really don’t like being tickled. It makes me feel trapped and panicked. I know it’s silly and funny for most people but I really hate it, so could you please not?’” she evoked.
However, the soon-to-be ex seemingly thought Anna’s reservations were “really dumb” and carried on tickling her anyway. Oh no, NOT a good idea!
“I broke up with him,” she continued, “I knew I’d have to retell the story and in doing so, I’d probably be classed as some crazy girl… and no one wants to be labelled crazy.”
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You wouldn’t want to be the girl he tells his friends about as ‘oh, she broke up with me because I tickled her. What a psycho?’” she shared.
Anna went on to explain that there’s obviously more than that to the story, “No, I broke up with you because I told you something was important to me and you didn’t respect that.’”
Although the actor lost a boyfriend, she walked away with a valuable lesson. Counselors say she had a pitch-perfect response to the situation.
“Many of my clients worry about being labelled the ‘crazy-ex’ but the truth is, if you honoured an important value or upheld a non-negotiable boundary, you should hold your head up high and let it go,” said Kimberly Resnick Anderson, psychiatry instructor at UCLA’s David Geffen School of Medicine.
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“It all boils down to feeling like you are heard, understood and that you have a voice in the relationship that is respected and held in high regard,” said marriage and family therapist Marissa Nelson. “When there is a pattern of your partner dismissing or belittling your feelings, it begins to erode the foundation of the relationship.”
Resnick further added that it is important to be aware of a potential slippery slope. “A partner who laughs off your concerns about something as seemingly minor as tickling, is very likely to shrug off weightier issues later on.”
She continued, “If the ex-boyfriend trivialised Anna’s feelings about being tickled, just imagine how he might have belittled boundaries around money, kids, career and family,” she said. “It’s a great reminder, especially for women, to ignore that little voice in your head that tells you to ‘keep the peace,’ or as a client told me yesterday, not ‘rock the boat.’”
Luckily, Kendrick had the self-esteem to say, “no, not okay,” and went on to live a tickler-free existence. Better yet, she wasn’t overly concerned if she got labelled a “crazy ex” in the process.
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