5 Ramazan songs that will ruin your roza

We apologise for this piece but we couldn’t suffer in silence

SCREENGRAB

KARACHI:
The month of Ramazan is a treat for everybody. People fast, try to be as nice to each other as their empty stomachs allow them to be, and then at iftar, go all crazy over delicious food. They pray, work and life moves smoothly.

There are some things, however, that have the ability to jeopardise your fast. Like internet trolls, there are trolls who say, 'well, that's a nice little fast you got going there, wouldn't it be a shame if you broke it?"

Concept of Ramazan is so powerful and probably good for anybody: Vin Diesel

This isn't the average troll though - these trolls aren't even people. In this case - the troll takes the shape of Ramazan songs. Yes, the internet is full of ridiculous things - puppy videos, harmful pranks, terrible singers putting up cacophonic songs.

While we agree intentions may not be bad, what makes these songs funny is their melodies are copied from Bollywood music, which we don’t feel strongly about.

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Here are five supposedly halal songs that might break your roza:

Ramazan Aaya Roza Rakho Ji – Rafi S/P Qawwali

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CDxQ3zMCR14

We will break rules here because as far as we know, it’s not based on a Bollywood song, but hey, it’s a classic. This boy is going to get his own star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in the future.

If this isn’t enough to make it a classic, there is a viral video of Justin Beiber apparently wishing his Muslim fans as he sings this song. Top that!

Jalebi Laai – Salma Chachi

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEJ1YG8DxWs


I think we set the bar really high with the first one. It’s really difficult to say anything about this now. In fact, I brought it upon myself when I chose to do this piece. Jalebi Laai is exactly what it sounds like: Mallika Sherawat’s item song Jalebi Bai. Look, I don’t know what anyone says but this is as creative as they are going to be. Just understand the story - a few children talking about what their mother brought for iftari. This is the potential of Jalebi Bai we never knew existed.

Ramazan Aaya Hai Salma Chachi – S Raja

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uLyxvYmaqmc

Before we tread forward, it’s important to address the elephant in the room. Who on earth is Salma Chachi? And why does she pop up in every Ramazan song? Whatever the answer may be, we bet you are never going to forget watching Salma Chachi sitting on a swing with this awkward-looking man while their niece sings the song.

Aaya Ramazan Rahmatwala

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lqf9XcQIEJQ

When Himesh Reshammiya composed this song, sung by Rahat Fateh Ali Khan (Teri Meri from Indian film Bodyguard), he must have never imagined it would be used like this.

On a side note, I would pay to watch Kareena Kapoor and Salman Khan running toward each other (like in the original video) but with iftari in their hands. Hello internet? Anyone?

Ramzan Ke Din Aaye

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqx3PAgamEY

A lot of people like Karan Johar. A lot of people don’t like Karan Johar. This is the ultimate tribute to the film-maker. The popular song ‘Sajan Ji Ghar Aaye’ from his magnum opus Kuch Kuch Hota Hai has been used in a way here which will make Johar’s ears bleed. If Anjali had made Aman listen to this song, he would have called off the wedding way early. No drama needed (I’m totally in a position to state this as I’m an expert on Kuch Kuch Hota Hai).

They are like the audio version of The Ring: whoever listens to them will die within seven days.

We apologise for this piece but we couldn’t suffer in silence.

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