The elusive path of respect

Generalisations about integrity, or worse character, based on political affiliations are both naïve & inaccurate

Generalisations about integrity, or worse character, based simply on political affiliations are both naïve and inaccurate. Generalisations about character based on race, ethnicity, religion or gender are even more problematic and utterly unacceptable. This problem of generalisation and attack on character takes an even darker turn when it comes from those who hold national political office. Such a thing coming from the prime minister is in a league of its own.

When the prime minister, during a speech last week, made a remark about the women of a rival party and questioned their character en masse, he connected political affiliation with morality, and in doing so, suggested that members of the opposing party were somehow morally inferior and their character questionable. It was sad to see the high reach of our deep social relationship with misogyny. It was devastating to be reminded again that instead of arguments about policy and strategy, or a debate about vision and the future, our discourse is still fixated on what women do in political rallies. In making the remark, the premier made it clear that despite some small, but important gains in legislation and a stronger national statement against honour killings, attacking women and their character is still fair game. The long road to inclusion, respect and understanding got a whole lot longer by just one statement in Okara. Once again, we were reminded that men have an irrevocable national certificate to judge the character of women, should they not act according to some arbitrary norms set by men themselves.

While the remark was disgusting and unacceptable to so many people, regardless of political affiliation, the silence of many within the ruling party is equally troubling. One would have hoped that members of the ruling political party would have condemned it and distanced themselves from the statement. Sadly, that did not happen. One would have also expected that those in the party who continue to champion development and ushering a “better Pakistan” would have said that misogyny and progress have nothing in common. But that did not happen either.

Also missing from our national character is the culture of apology. A sincere apology would not weaken the political base or create fissures in the party, instead it would provide a human touch often missing from those who hold high offices. Not sure when men decided that apologising is a sign of weakness and accepting a mistake is a failure. Perhaps the cloak of infallibility comes with the certificate to judge women.

Such events, however, are not surprising. Our national discourse, including on national television, continues to reflect our deep bond with misogyny. The jokes, in particular, focus disproportionately on women. Gross and often misleading generalisations about looks and attitudes form the core basis of what we consider funny. Just to illustrate this point with an example, I watched a few late night comedy shows. In nearly every single one there was a pattern of jokes about how (much) women talk, how ungrateful they are, how they like to spend their spouses’ hard-earned money and how men are inherently scared of their wrath. Disturbed by this, I thought that perhaps this was the national misogyny week, so I went online and randomly selected shows from various months and weeks, and much to my disgust, the pattern was the same.

Maybe the statement from the prime minister is a reminder that we are a true democracy and our leadership reflects who we are. But the optimist in me is hoping that the prime minister will recognise his mistake, apologise for his statement and set an example that the path forward will have nothing but respect for our fellow citizens, irrespective of their gender, faith or ethnicity.

Published in The Express Tribune, May 2^nd, 2017.

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