Spring fever

Joyous swallows perform incredible acrobatic feats across the intense blue sky against which the luscious pink of apricot and almond blossom glows with the promise of bounty to come. Slopes that were yellowed and brown just a couple of days ago are suddenly dotted with fresh emerald green and the bare branches of deciduous trees are budding rapidly, serenaded as they are by the melody of courting birds. Even Mrs Joe has got into the swing of things by laying another four eggs. Spring, my friends, has finally arrived!

As the dogs bask in the sunshine on the back doorstep, I meander around the awakening garden, imagining how it will look, after some incredibly hard work, later in the year: shiny purple, vibrant orange and snowy white aubergines waiting to be harvested; huge red, black and yellow beefsteak tomatoes bursting with juice; enormous chillies and capsicums in a rainbow of colours; crisp lettuce to munch in summer salads; frothy endive, mouth-watering corn on the cob, new potatoes; and apricots, plums, peaches, nectarines, apples, persimmons, figs, almonds, quinces, damsons, lemons and purple grapes. The actual reality rarely lives up to dream as, despite a bevy of innovative precautions, since it is impossible to be on guard duty 24/7, porcupines will undoubtedly raid, two-legged thieves will make off with prized specimens of something luscious, bugs will make a dent as will my companions the birds and, just when the garden is looking perfect, the weather will do something nasty!

The amount of backbreaking labour that goes into cultivating and caring for half an acre of stubborn mountainside, 6,000 feet above sea-level can be daunting. But the produce that I pick and eat is precious beyond… well… certainly far beyond any of the predominantly toxic stuff offered at increasingly ludicrous prices in the shops. The very word ‘toxic’ sends shivers down my spine and helps to soothe the inevitable aches and pains brought on by the hard labour. After an unbroken four-hour slog of bending, crouching, straightening up, weeding, hoeing and carrying debris to the compost bin, my knees are painfully reminding me that I should go gently after a winter of relative rest and my upper back screams for an application of some heating to unknot it as I did get carried away in the enthusiasm engendered by the balmy day.

The frightening issue of toxic fruit and vegetables is why my own patch of paradise is cared for in a purely organic way. No chemicals of any description allowed here as I work with, not against, nature. I have no intention of endangering my bodily health by eating known poisons morning, noon and night and, for those of you who question this assumption, let me elaborate.

Commercially produced fruit, vegetables, grain and herbs are routinely sprayed with some very deadly poisons to prevent them being attacked by bugs and birds. Quite a high percentage of these poisons are absorbed in the produce each and every time it is sprayed — which is often as pesticides are routinely sprayed as a deterrent as well as a cure. These toxins remain in the fruit, vegetable, grain and herbs long after they have been harvested and washing a cabbage before cooking it doesn’t eliminate the poison. Which is why those of us lucky enough to have the option, should grow everything possible in a sensible, organic way.

For those still in doubt about the seriousness of this issue, let me elaborate some more. The government of India has just been served with a court order instructing it to subject randomly purchased fresh produce to toxicity tests. This has come about in the wake of news reports claiming that pesticides banned in the western world are being routinely used in India and Chief Justice Dipak Misra of Delhi High Court had the sense to take this seriously, instructing the government to go out and buy fruit and vegetables from here and there and have them tested at certified laboratories. The gentleman has given them just five weeks to complete the exercise and present th e results. Investigations by an NGO called Consumer Voice revealed that fresh produce in the city is heavily contaminated with five banned pesticides.

Pakistani farmers, some home-growers too, rarely take the time to study the label on the pesticide they purchase for use on edible crops. To further compound the issue, they tend to be heavy-handed in its application, figuring that using more than specified will ensure ‘healthy’ crops, which is a complete misnomer if ever there was one!

Sub-continental culture being what it is and this region often being used as a dumping ground for items no longer acceptable in other parts of the world, there is no reason to think that what applies to Indian agricultural practices does not apply equally here in Pakistan. The well-known maxim ‘Let the buyer beware’ was never more true than right now when everyone is being actively encouraged to eat more fresh fruit and vegetables in order to be fit and healthy.

Now, having got that off my chest, I will revert to more spring-like issues.

Aaaah the heavenly wonder — having been able to shed two of my four layers of winter clothing — of being able to walk, not waddle around like a force-fed duck! If, as occasionally does happen, the weather forecast is correct, and temperatures continue their upward trend, then I should be able to don jeans and t-shirt within the next week or two. After a winter of eating myself warm on rib-sticking stuff like mutton stew and homemade cheese ‘n onion pies, I suspect that my jeans will refuse to zip — which anyone who has wriggled, struggled, then inadvertently almost passed out due to stomach skin being literally eaten by the damn zip will sympathise with. Spring, heavenly spring, means far more than carefree swallows performing effortless flybys, more than garden planning and chores, even more than no longer having to haul in firewood. Spring means time to fight winter-accumulated fat, tighten up sagging muscles, get in to salad gear and leap straight into dieting mode!

Published in The Express Tribune, Sunday Magazine, March 20^th, 2011.