But maybe they would mull over that option more carefully if they knew the full story. Just back from the US after completing his masters, Saad first saw Fatimah, a schoolteacher, at a friend’s house in late 1994, and it was love at first sight.
He immediately asked his host to introduce him to the beautiful woman across the room. His host complied, and within a few weeks of the whirlwind romance, both of them knew they were destined to be together.
Saad initially hid his relationship from his family, knowing that they would disapprove of the young man’s decision, until he was financially self-reliant. Fatimah, on the other hand, was more open with her family, and introduced Saad to her brothers in early 1995.
To her surprise, her brothers were not only accepting, but actually began treating Saad like a member of the family from the first time they met him. Their love for their sister, and faith in her judgement, overcame any conservatism that dwelt within them.
Fatimah’s faith in their relationship was the final proof for Saad, who decided to propose just a few days later. That decision led him straight into a nightmare. While Saad’s parents had met Fatimah by this time, they never wanted him to marry her.
As the scion of a political family, he was meant to put a ring on the finger of another politician’s daughter. Apparently, he was the only one in the family who was unaware of this. Having had the freedoms of a liberal upbringing, he was in no mood to be told who he was going to spend the rest of his life with, and he let his family know. “That ‘brilliant’ move got me beaten worse than a criminal by my own father,” said Saad.
When Fatimah learnt of this, she went bawling to her brothers. Neither of them was willing to let their sister cry any longer. They went to Saad’s uncle, who, having met Fatimah, was willing to risk his own standing for his nephew’s happiness. The uncle proposed on Saad’s behalf, and arranged for Saad to come on a hunting expedition with him.
Saad knew nothing of the plan till his uncle picked him up. They immediately went to Fatimah’s house, where one of Saad’s cousins had just brought a cleric to make the marriage official. The ceremony was over and Saad realised why he had to bring his Belgian passport along.
Overnight, his new in-laws had arranged for the couple to leave the country. Less than twelve hours after leaving his house to go ‘hunting’, Saad was a married man in a new country. He and his wife worked hard to make ends meet for four years, before Saad finally got a job with a bank.
His commitment to work was only overshadowed by his commitment to his wife, and when God blessed the couple with their first child, his non-existent relationship with his own family came back together.
The years had made Saad’s father think hard about how much he missed his only child, and he was not willing to let his grandson grow up without seeing him. He got his chance at a social gathering in Islamabad.
He walked up to Fatimah, and in a scene befitting a movie, said only, “I’m your father-in-law, and I’m sorry for the pain I’ve caused both of you. Please find it in your heart to forgive me.”
She did, and while the couple remain settled abroad, it is opportunity, not fear that keeps them there, just as it was love that took them there.
*Names have been changed on request
Published in The Express Tribune, February 14th, 2011.
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