Time to get our priorities right

There can be few threats more existential to the state of Pakistan than that presented by Doraemon, and we have the PTI to thank for drawing this to our attention before the entire edifice of government crumbles around us. Those who do not have children under seven or eight may be a little mystified at this point, as it is a Japanese cartoon dubbed into Hindi that has been bringing a happy chortle to our children for the last four years. The PTI has proposed a resolution in the Punjab Assembly that this deeply offensive and insidious attempt to subvert the morals of the children of Pakistan be banned with immediate effect such is the danger it represents.

While the PTI is at it, one wonders why it also doesn’t propose an immediate ban on all Tom and Jerry cartoons that have been promoting a culture of extreme violence for decades; as well as wilfully misrepresenting the relationship between cats and mice as being purely adversarial rather than the one of harmony and peaceful coexistence that has prevailed for millennia. Perhaps, we must also add to the list, in order to preserve the sanctity, indeed sanity of the nation — Dora the Explorer. This wicked piece of foreign propaganda has been perverting the minds of toddlers for longer than we can remember and it is for parliament to put a stop to the rot with immediate effect.

Once again the PTI is proven to have a finger on the national pulse. Honour killing? Pfffft. The threat presented by terrorism and extremism? Stuff and nonsense. Global warming? A folk-myth. Corruption? What corruption, this is the Land of the Pure and the PTI is the ultimate guardian of that purity. None of these. The real threat is a Hindi-dubbed kids’ cartoon that features an anti-bullying message, uplifting moral homilies on the importance of school and attending lessons — and how to field-strip a Kalashnikov AK-47. Ban Doraemon now before it is too late and thank the PTI for saving us all from eternal damnation.

Published in The Express Tribune, August 5^th, 2016.

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