PHOTO: AFP
“I realised that no one’s going to come to my aid except myself. Everyone keeps asking me to move on. So I have to rescue myself. I realised that I’m a good writer so I started maintaining a journal. I also started using Facebook as a platform to give survivors like me a voice.
An APS attack survivor’s extraordinary story
“When people ask me how I feel,” shares Aakif, “I give them a quote from Dumbledore in Harry Potter who said you can always turn the switch on and become your own light. I’ve become my only go-to person because no one else can understand what happened. Writing is the only thing that dulls my pain. It’s worked very well for me.” I asked Aakif to share some excerpts of his writing so Pakistan and the world can benefit from this his insight and perseverance in life. Here’s one haunting excerpt:
“I learnt that you need not to follow the ghosts that haunt you in the middle of the night; you need not to fall prey to the demons from deep within. Don’t give in! As long as we remember that from the womb of the night emerges sunshine, as long as you remember it’s just about turning a switch on! The sun surely does give you light, and it burns too, but that shouldn’t stop you from enjoying a beautiful summer.
“All of us are so busy with our lives,” shares Aakif. “We don’t question who am I. It’s the rule of the universe. In the darkness, you think a lot about yourself and why you’re here. You shouldn’t be negative about it. You should think about why you’re here and what’s the purpose of all this. Eventually, that thought will lead you to a different perspective. Never close the doors on yourself in darkness. Remain as positive as you can. In the darkest of times, you discover who you really are.”
Like most boys his age, Aakif’s Facebook page has a lot of sports updates, funny videos and memes. But the memory of what happened is never far away.
An APS attack survivor’s extraordinary story — II
Here’s a post he wrote on December 1:
Ohhhh December, you come back again/ Making me bleed, injured again/ You come again to scratch the wounds/ Torturing me by opening those wounds/ I saw you taking my life away/ 17 pieces of my soul, cut away/ You tore me down and hurt me bad/ For the pain you caused, made me sad/ I will never forget the bullets whistling/ For each killed a soul dwelling/ You made me murder my own ambition/ Flipping me out to gain retribution/ But I will not play into your hands/ Won’t give you my hatred nor a glance/ I learnt to grow with a smile on my face/ For this is your punishment, so you brace/ For Love will always cause you pain/ Killing them all was no gain/ I made my point that you were wrong/ For His way Is love, No Bullet, No bomb/ As long as I smile, you won but lost/ This is my message, we won, You Lost!
“This is my aim in life now,” shares Aakif. “My best friends aren’t with me anymore so I have to live out their dreams and lives too. We don’t stop to think about our lives and why we’re here. If humanity has lost its way, we have to restore it. We have to become their voice. No one else will come to our rescue.”
This is the final piece of a three-part series on Aakif’s story in his words. The first and second parts appeared yesterday and the day before in this space. Extraordinary Pakistanis seeks to find and share inspirational stories about everyday Pakistani heroes (if you know someone who should be profiled, send us a Tweet @Mbilallakhani). If we don’t share these stories about Pakistan, no one else will.
Published in The Express Tribune, December 17th, 2015.
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