Pakistani woman offended she didn't make it to Sapphire catfight video

In the heroic battle of the lawns, this poor soul's Brave Heart moment was not caught on camera

KARACHI: As Pakistan witnessed its first Black Friday last month, emotions ran high and people ran to stores to spend their hard-earned money on necessities and luxuries alike.

One of the biggest sales of the day was offered by clothing brand Sapphire that slashed 50 per cent off its products, making it possible for more people to step into their stores.



As we all know, what ensued inside the store was the survival of the fittest -- women trying their best to acquire this season's prints, because: priorities, obviously. In case anyone needs a reminder, here's the video that went viral:



While many bashed the ladies for being 'materialistic' and 'uncivilised', they failed to notice the hard work that went into it.



Reports have surfaced that one woman present at the store during the fight that broke out is extremely upset over the fact that she was not caught on camera along with the other women.





What she considers to be nothing less than strategic and heroic manoeuvres were completely ignored by the person making the video.

"I was training for this sale since two months. I took Taekwondo classes and strictly monitored my diet. If you don't believe me, look at this video of me at the gym," she said, sharing this video with us:



"I had even been praying five times a day to seek God's help in this noble cause. In fact, I had just gotten done with jummah prayers and headed to the battleground. And for what? These were supposed to be my 15 minutes of fame. And now I will have to wait till next year," she said, fuming.



"To add insult to injury, everyone on my timeline was sharing the video. The video that I would've been the star of, had the camera been a little to the right. I deactivated my Facebook account for one whole hour because I got so sick of it. These people have no manners at all!"

"I constantly surfed the internet till Sunday in the hope that another video would surface which would have caught the real MVP of the catfight -- ME -- but in vain. Even the woman in the black dress made it to the video, and she joined just minutes before it was shot! I was there right from the start! Just talking about it and replaying the scene in my head brings tears to my eyes."

"Whoever said 'Friday is never black' was wrong -- my Friday was the blackest it has ever been," she added.

This article is a work of satire, obviously.