To lawn manufacturers, with love

Not everyone likes florals. Looking like a Laura Ashley bed sheet every day of summer doesn’t make you more feminine.

1. Not everyone likes florals. Looking like a Laura Ashley bed sheet every day of the summer doesn’t make you more feminine - nor does a smorgasbord of paisleys. Solids are sophisticated but I guess you won’t make these in good quality lawn prints because they last longer. Abstract prints are also great, but you guys never make those aside from Pucci/Missoni ripoffs.


2. Quality is more important than itchy embroidery. Fading colours mean the material is made of poor quality no matter how sparkly the sequin detailing is. Please don’t compromise quality for embellishment – it won’t make me come back for more.


3. Don’t be kanjoos. There should be enough kapra per package for reasonably tall clients - and that means taller than the salesmen. Shortage of cloth means that we’ll either have to buy extra or not buy the piece at all.


4. Stitch it for us. Or better yet, sell ready made outfits in sizes including super skinny, ample hips, maternity/nursing with Velcro, and in denial with sizes written two sizes smaller than they really are.


5. The photoshoots aren’t real. Mini dresses made of lawn with bridal embroidery and stilettos may be creative for a photoshoot but do you really think we are stupid enough to believe we’ll look that good when we wear the lawn during scorching, sandal-wearing weather?


6. Rethink exhibitions. An e-catalog or mail-order catalog (with swatches) for home delivery would be so much better than getting elbowed by crazy women at an exhibition. I don’t particularly enjoy being disdainfully told by the shopkeeper that I’m two hours too late and only the muddy browns are left.


7. Ever thought of recycling? Come up with a way to recycle last season’s clothes, or distribute them to the needy by offering incentives to clients. Women don’t wear ‘designer’ lawn the next season because it looks outdated. Yes, women are indeed afraid of being told “Oh, isn’t that last season’s lawn print? I gave mine to my maid,” by a catty housewife.


8. Mix and match. Combine colour palettes that can be worn as separates. If we have to run into people wearing the same ‘print’ as ourselves, at least let it be just the kameez or pants and not the entire outfit.


9. Be creative. Your marketing needs to be better - we can’t tell the difference between any of the lawn ads anymore. Think about it: the same two-word brand names, models and poses are staring down at us from every billboard.


10. Stop copying each other. Be original, which is something that can be said for every industry. It’ll add value to your name and will probably inspire more women to trample on each other at the next exhibition.