Bloody Karachi, bloody hell

And it has started again. The target killings, the burning buses, the protests, the funerals and the ‘peaceful’ mournings.

They seem to stop for a week or two and start again in full fervour. Then the Shia Ulema Council, the Ahle Sunnat Wal Jamaat, the Jeay Sindh Qaumi Mahaz or the Jamaat-e-Islami will protest – for Dr Aafia, Shia killings, target killings, extortion, Lyari gangsters, Sindh or some other damn thing.

Sigh, sometimes it is just so damn exhausting.

Sometimes, I wish Karachi had a superhero. Where is Sindh’s answer to Batman or Karachi’s own kryptonite man in red briefs? All we have are target killers called Grenade, Manhoos, Maindak, Ghadda, Kala or Lambu. What we need is someone to look up to, someone to depend on. Not a frog with a TT pistol.

Considering that most political parties, including the MQM and the ANP, claim to fight for and protect the citizens of this city, maybe we should ask them to create a monster…I mean a hero. A real lean, mean, fighting machine. His name would be of critical importance. If he was a part of the coalition partners then they would all want their names to be included. But what if our hero came from the opposition? How many P’s and ML’s would he have in his name?  Would he be like-minded or functional?

He would, of course, have to have a Mr or Ji or Bhai in his name. It adds class. However, given Karachi’s ethnically diverse population, the said superhero will also have to bring bits of Mohajirs, Pathans, Sindhis, Parsis and all that in between together. A difficult task, but our caped crusader should be able to overcome the hurdle. So, there would have to be an A, N, P,M, Q, M, H,J,I,S,T, L, E, J and a couple other alphabets. PAN QAM BHAI? FAQ ME JI?

No, wait, I have it. Our superhero’s name would be Na Qaum Ji, a Mohajir with a Punjabi-Pathan twist living in a Baloch dominated area. He would fly around town in his trusty rickshaw to stop bank robberies, extortion, karo karis and what not. For the fashion conscious ones, don’t fret, our Na Qaum Ji can pull off just about any colour maybe his outfit should be an ajrak shalwar kameez with a Sindhi topi and Peshawari chapal? It might even motivate everyone to participate on Sindhi Topoi day.

His typical day about town could include strolling around I I Chundigar Road or North Nazimabad or Lyari, waiting from some gambling dens to open up or unidentified suspects to open fire. Maybe he’d stop outside the press club and talk some sense into the people sitting there.

He would also have to deal with the bureaucrats, ministers, NGOs and anyone who has the time to say a few words. Who knows, well, who really cares?

As Karachi burns and bleeds again, there is not much we can do. Let’s just wait and hope someone steps up to save us.

Red more articles by Tooba here.