10 emotions a real relationship evokes

Relationships are also the cause of some of our lowest and most upsetting moments

KARACHI: While relationships can often lead to feelings of absolute bliss, they’re also the cause of some of our lowest and most upsetting moments. In those not-so-great times, it is common to think the relationship is a failure, you aren’t meant to be together or that you just don’t know how to be close to someone. However, it is in fact the best relationships that involve negative feelings as much as positive. As compiled from Elite Daily and 973fm.com.au, here are feelings you should embrace.

1. Nervousness

Whether it’s jitters every time you meet their family, butterflies before a casual dinner or that sick feeling in your stomach when your partner hasn’t been behaving like his usual sweet self in a few days or their anxiety is stressing you out – just because you’re comfortable doesn’t mean you don’t turn into a nervous wreck at the sight of one missed call (or no calls). It’s just a reminder of how much they mean to you.

2. Sadness 

Sorrow and pain are part of the relationship and are just as critical as happiness and harmony. You can’t enjoy the highs unless you’ve experienced the irritating and heartbreaking lows. Feeling sorrowful is definitely not the end of the relationship. In fact, it makes your bond stronger.

3. Discomfort

Exposing your feelings and insecurities should be uncomfortable, however, that feeling of discomfort is quickly replaced with relief, as you watch your partner accept your worst self and all those things you thought you could never demonstrate to anyone. It takes being uncomfortable and out of your comfort zone to appreciate when you have no reason to feel that way, since your partner embraces all of your insecurities.

4. Anger

Sincere relationships come with honest fights. Loud arguments, heated discussions, disagreements and fits of rage are unavoidable side-effects of passion and attachment. The fights, however, are never meaningless. They are full of purpose and reason. Healthy couples never tussle for drama or attention but to reach a resolution. So, go ahead, fight it out and get out stronger.

5. Exhaustion 

Are you exhausted from staying up all night thinking about them or drained from spending the day with their parents or tired from hosting a dinner for their colleagues and worn out from entertaining their pals – the ones you don’t necessarily like too much? Feeling dead beat from giving everything you have to this one person is a sign of a relationship that is definitely real.

6. Edginess 

With mutual respect, admiration and shared adoration comes slight neuroticism. You can’t love someone and not fear him or her at the same time because of the power he or she holds over you — because this one person has the ability to throw your heart back in your face, to drop you from the highest high you’ve ever been. So, feeling edgy and uneasy is normal and proves that you’re in it for genuine motives.

7. Ugly

Do you want to be sans make-up and with greasy hair and baggy pajamas? If you’re feeling lazy around your partner and they are still around without complaints... that’s success. But more importantly, if you can be yourself around someone, in the way that you don’t doll yourself up like you would if you were seeing other people, you are in a solid relationship. To feel unattractive, to knowingly expose your most raw self to someone, is beautiful. It simply means you have achieved a level of comfort that only comes with bearing the ugly.

8. Frustration

When he/she doesn’t text you for an hour, when you miss him/her and can’t do anything about it, when you wish he/she experienced everything with you – from greasy Chinese takeout to the awful movie coming on TV... Frustration doesn’t have to be about your partner but about not being with him/her. If you’re not frustrated with the one you love, you’re not really in love.

9. Naivety 

A relationship isn’t about having it right, but realising you can be wrong and flawed. It’s about learning, growing and understanding that you don’t really know everything. It’s about everything you have to teach and, more so, learn from your partner. But the two of you can explore the world together, letting the lessons and experiences bring you even closer.

10. Vulnerability 

Your feelings are fully exposed, raw and in the line of fire. You have given your partner your heart and hope he/she doesn’t drop it. You have given him/her more than you thought you had to give and hope the one you love doesn’t throw it back in your face. As good of friends you are, you know there’s a chance things could take a detour. This vulnerability may drop through time, but it’s always there at the back of your mind. You can’t truly love someone without fearing losing them.

Published in The Express Tribune, May 5^th,  2015.

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