My love-hate affair with KESC

From three hours of loadsh­edding to no loadsh­edding to random power cuts. KESC, til death do us 'part.

While everyone around me had been stampeding to burn down KESC offices, I chose the higher ground. Yes, maybe I attended some protests last year. Sure I threw several rocks at their windows. Its possible that I may have raided a petrol station and tried to set fire to the office of the CEO. But that was totally last year. It was mostly peer pressure. Plus, protestor chicks are hot and totally loose.

This time it was different. Like an ex-girlfriend whose other rishta had been cancelled, KESC came running back to me. They told me they had changed. They said they weren't perfect, but they were trying to fix things. They showed me their sexy new logo that drove me all sorts of wild. So, I welcomed them back into my house. This time, they promised I would only have three hours of loadshedding in the day.

I could handle three hours! They promised it would be the same three hours everyday.  I decided to plan my life around the loadshedding hours of 1pm, 6pm and 10pm. I'd be at work for the first hour, I could go to the gym at 6pm and then I could party, everyday, at exactly 10pm.

As the months went on, KESC and I established a solid relationship. They didn't try any hanky panky, were consistent with their loadshedding hours and I didn't commit any acts of slander or arson against their staff. It was a healthy, adult relationship.

Then, one day, during the loadshedding hours, I happened to drive past Home Minister Zulfiqar Mirza's house and noticed something I had not noticed before. All the lights in Zulfiqar Mirza's house as well as his neighbourhood were on. The betrayal was instant and devastating.

I called up the KESC office and screamed until I was hoarse. How could they do this? How could they supply continuous electricity behind my back to another man?  KESC acted like nothing was wrong, and told me I was overreacting. I decided I wasn't going to depend on them anymore. So I went out, sold some drugs and bought a gas generator.

Seeing my defiant act of independence, KESC came crawling back. They decided they were going to take our relationship to the next level. They were going to stop loadshedding completely.

I couldn't believe it. What was the catch? KESC told me they were going to reward me for being an elitist, Espresso-loving, Defence-inhabiting burger boy. They were cracking down on illegal electricity connections throughout the city and rewarding honest, faithful people like me, by only cutting the power supply to areas that had illegal connections.

Since I was a rabid elitist and didn't care about the suffering of the rest of the country, I was overjoyed at my luck. Until KESC decided to torment me. Within a couple of weeks, KESC began to wreak havoc like never before. They not only started cutting the power again, they cut it at random points in the day and began to cut down the gas supply as well, so that the generators wouldn't work. This time, they wouldn't take my calls. They did, however, take my dignity as I went crawling back, begging them to give me the old regular loadshedding hours. I promised I wouldn't complain anymore. With a stern warning, they got me back on the regular hours again.

KESC.

Til death do us 'part.

Published in The Express Tribune, November 4^th, 2010.