- 27 Feb 2011
10 things I hate about World Cup fever - 22 Feb 2011
10 things I hate about street protests - 14 Feb 2011
10 things I hate about Valentine’s day - 09 Feb 2011
10 things I hate about the internet
- RSS
- Today's Paper
- Subscribe
- beta 2.1
Alerts
10 things I hate about women
The apparent helplessness. Look at me. I’m as fragile as the first rosebud of spring...
1. The hormones. I am angelic right now. Yes, you can have my firstborn, my car and my inheritance. I will become demonic, however, when you ask to borrow my pen. I have oestrogen. Deal with it.
2. That time of the month. Everything, from inhaling 67 bars of chocolates to murdering babies, can be attributed to PMS. That time of the month is the year-long pass that you have to being a complete beast.
3. The lack of physical boundaries. I do not appreciate you being five millimeters away from me while you regale me with your story of how your dentist tells you that your halitosis is incurable. I WILL bludgeon you if you give me another hug that squashes both of our delicates.
4. The apparent helplessness. Look at me. I’m as fragile as the first rosebud of spring. I do not know how to print documents from a word file, I’m not strong enough to pick up my coffee cup or smart enough to slice bread. Doesn’t that rouse up all your primitive caveman instincts to come protect me?
5. The feelings. I am a beating heart that feels and a delicate soul that is sensitive to all of my surroundings. I will reinforce that fact over and over again by bursting into helpless tears at the sight of an old man on the road, little babies in the park, flowers, burnt popcorn, the color pink, sappy film endings and washing liquid not being drained properly in the dishwasher.
6. The talking. Let’s talk. It’s four thirty in the morning but I think my boyfriend’s voice inflection on our forty-third call wasn’t quite right. Please help me figure this out. Let me take you through all previous forty-two calls first. Your cat just gave birth to stillborn kittens, don’t bottle up your feelings, let’s talk. I think my third fingernail just chipped. Let’s talk.
7. The constant need to be reassured. Do I look fat? Do I look thin? Is my hair alright? Does he love me? Does he love my mother? I raise six kids, work three jobs, support my great grand-uncle, do you think I am awesome enough? Are you sure? Are you? Really? No, really?
8. The motherhood. I gave birth. I will now have a saintly halo hovering over my head forever. No, you cannot judge me. I gave birth to you. What do you mean you can’t listen to my criticism of all your life choices, all the time?
9. The sisterhood. I will borrow your clothes, shoes, books, friends, boyfriends, underwear. What do you mean I have to ask you, at least? I will claw your face out if I have a fight with my third best friend because you’re my resident punching bag. I will claw anyone else’s face off, however, if they say anything about you.
10. The womanhood. Mother earth has tied us all into a single spiritual being because of our collective sorrows and pains. While we’re at it let’s bitch each other out, take any and every opportunity to destroy each others’ lives, steal husbands, beauticians, tailors and make sure that mother earth writhes in agony every second of her womanly existence.
Published in The Express Tribune, Sunday Magazine, 6th, 2011.
Reader Comments (59)
Gossip Latest Stories
Ranbir stays away from social-networking sites
After dating each other for a couple of years, Ranbir and Deepika broke up.
Fixing gives the sport a bad name, says Deepika
Actor Deepika Padukone expresses her concern over the scandal in IPL.
Did you know?: Kate Middleton is learning how to cook
This isn’t the first time Kate has donned the commoner hat post-marriage.
MJ’s estate mints $600 million since his death
King of Pop’s post-humous estate is worth more than what he had in his lifetime.
Spears under fire for giving son a toy gun
The six-year-old was photographed pointing the toy gun at other people during their family vacation.
Shruti Haasan thought she was too ugly to be in showbiz!
Actor was scared to face the camera and appear on the big screen.
Preity Zinta for president?
Saddened by India’s situation, actor says she’s thinking about joining politics to bring a ‘positive change’.
Is Preity Zinta serious about joining politics?
The 38-year-old actress is also the co-owner of the Indian Premier League (IPL) team King's XI Punjab.
Recent Slideshows
This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, redistributed or derived from.
Unless otherwise stated, all content is copyrighted © 2013 The Express Tribune News Network.
Technical feedback? [email protected]
As a woman I take offense to that. I know that it was probably not your intention but this article probably set women back by 50 years.
Not of us are like that.Recommend
WTH !!!Recommend
So bitter, but yet so true ;) Amna, you are a woman, but with a man’s heart :P
Two Thumbs up!!!!Recommend
Look who’s talking :pRecommend
hahah! ‘kinda’ true.Recommend
PppphhhuUuAhAHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa!! Gud One! LOL.Recommend
I fail to understand why a newspaper, that I assume would like to have itself taken seriously, allows drivel like this to be published on a regular basis. Perhaps reporting on the top 10 things this country does to the women it hates so much would be more apt. Spare us the vacuity and TRY to address those who live outside the bubble like 99% of the population.Recommend
Brilliant! You’ve lit up my dull morning with your humour which hits home :) Recommend
BrilliantRecommend
Love this article, truly analysed… :)
When women show helplessness while they wanna take any kind of advantage and act like fragile, it’s really disgusting and annoying…
Yes other annoying point is sisterhood, for people like me who even not share their fever… LOLRecommend
piece of crap! wasted my time reading and now wasting 5 secs to tell u … do something better !Recommend
Ms.Iqbal, I think the last thing that the HIGHLY MISOGYNISTIC subcontinent as a whole, including of course my own country India needs is articles titled like your’s.
And this is coming from a very handsome heterosexual male. LOLRecommend
Yay, woohoo! Loving the reaction especially by women :DRecommend
“piece of crap! wasted my time reading and now wasting 5 secs to tell u … do something better !”
(The next reader should copy/paste this comment as well. Cyma can write better than Amna. :D:P … )Recommend
This article is not a true depiction of the women of today. The last point actually seems inspired by the star plus soaps.Recommend
The quality of articles posted on this site has plumeted down in the past few weeks. Read this if you dont agree with me.Recommend
I am an Indian but I think ALL men GLOBALLY will ask this question ” why do women TALK so much ”
And why do women take so much time to get dressed up if we have to go out Recommend
ROFL :D Recommend
I like it so much lovelyRecommend
lol@No 6!!!!
Had a good laugh for the first time after reading an ET article!Recommend
women: stereotyped and generalized!Recommend
Come on Girls…Lets be honest…we all have a little bit of all of this!! Let us just acknowledge it and hold our heads high….It is this quirkiness in all of us that makes this world a fun place to be :)
To the author: Good one…Made my day!!!Recommend
i fail to understand why does ET publishes such articles ’10 things i hate/like about bla bla bla.’ i guess we have reached the end of our creativity and have succumbed to making pros and con lists cuz that is our limit ! most of these articles especially this one is plain rubbish and so black-and-white that i don’t want to waste my time analyzing what the presumably ‘manly’ female writer has distorted and exaggerated to the extent of mount everest !Recommend
Why does it sound like you are the one having PMS and throwing a tantrum??
Feelings – right – this article has none of the whiny crying ones about it at all!?Recommend
Amna, you just made my day! This is hilarious, and not the least bit offensive! Laughing at oneself is an art, and satire is the best way to do it. More power to your ticklish pen!Recommend
Aww Amna, that’s precisely the 10 things I LOVE about being a woman! :))Recommend
Woahhh bravo Amina, wonderful satire. To all complaining women, ur posts proved her satirical article true hahahaRecommend
Great article and very true about our Pakistani women.Recommend
Today, even men need assurance so its not specific to women, and perhaps more than women in some cases. Plus I am sure it would be unintentional but there was some points in this write up which were sexist in the essence. Anyways, did you realize the irony of your write up? What exactly women like you try to prove by degrading your own gender follows? Oh-look-at-me-I-am-so-KWELL-not-like-my-gender-mates? Recommend
Some points are good, others are pointless. Number 8 is pure class, loved it. Recommend
I assume you are a woman right?Recommend
Gee…lighten up, people! Why are we so super sensitive??? Satire is the delicate mixing of sensitivity and censure, an uneasy but workable relationship between the refined and the ridiculous. Take it for what it is, and no more!
Amna, good writing draws spontaneous response – it is either hated or loved…mediocre ramblings don’t get much of a response. The ability to understand and appreciate satire is not as common as we might think. So, even if critics hate you, rest assured, you’ve made your point!Recommend
Good Job Amna!
very very interesting.. but not without fallacies,, POINT NUMBER 4 was just a filler, not correct ,
hey i got an idea to stop all nasty comments.
Rename the title as : “10 types of Women I hate the most” since every point you mentioned there in reflects a TYPE of female around us.
more over nice to see this coming from a WOMAN.Recommend
wonderful piece of crap!Recommend
Very nice read!Recommend
God! So where was I when You were investing women with all those “remarkable” qualities????????????
Oh I know! I slept it out……….again……….Recommend
boaRingRecommend
ET needs to stop running these ridiculous lists. Period.Recommend
I guess your name is a misprint; it must have been Amin Iqbal :P.. Recommend
ET should really not publish such crap. This article is sexist to begin with and what is even more sad is that it is coming from a female writer(?).Recommend
Absolutely brilliant, Ms. Iqbal. It’s so incisive, acidic and witty that despite making those who can laugh, it has the ability to leave indelible imprints on mind. Needless to say that you are one of the tiny minority in this country who has been blessed with the rarest sense on the planet: sense of humour. Self deprecating sense of humour is the best form. And that’s why like all minorities, you are under attack by dull, boring, wooden majority. when you can laugh at yourself, the comments simply reflect the fact; you earn the right to laugh at the world.
And bravo to ET that they are different and witty.Recommend
loved point 4,5,6 and 7Recommend
Good work!!!Recommend
Loved it.. Very well written :DRecommend
This is such garbage. The writer as well as the publication should be embarrassed to be writing / publishing this article. It is offensive and nothing else. So whatever was trying to be achieved with this article has not and I do hope both parties realize that. An apology is very much due.
Ps: The writer ought to be told that this is not humour. And ET should realize that this is the single best way to lose readers. Party on ET, you just lost my interest for good. Recommend
Could play on a few more stereotypes while you’re at it?Recommend
Love me, love my crap :DRecommend
Some of it is true and some is too exaggerated. Most women are naturally so much better than this!Recommend
You know whats funny, is that you might have written this article to ridicule stereotypes associated with women but you’ve just reinforced them. There’s a way of being witty and proving a point, and this isn’t it.Recommend
Surprised! Crap like this being published by ET. The writer surely had some bitter experience in life!Recommend
what a lovely piece of fresh perspective…
ok, don’t go looking for me now…goshhh….
some of the comments are eeewww…
why can’t you nice ladies just take something once with a little less seriousness…
and may be laugh out at your own expense… just for a change may be…
the way the writer intended…. only for fun’s sake :pRecommend
PMS & sharing underwears? Awwee that’s disgustingRecommend
@Amna:
An apology is due? To whom? To all the ofended readers? Or does she need to apologize for writing an article that did not meet up to your standards? Are you really that stuckup?
Does anyone else feel that the writer needs to apologize for anything?
I feel the only person offended here is you, who can’t take a joke, a satire, an opinion.
Go cool yourself off and comeback to comment here when its not your “that time of the month”.Recommend
Loved reading it .. at first i was like what the hell is she writing but as i scrolled down it was damn good.
i enjoyed it more cuz i had just read an article about 7 things i hate about men and this is a spot on answer to that :DRecommend
Brilliant! this is what every women feels and every men fears…Recommend
someone should write one of these abt men :PRecommend
@4 The fragility can work wonders. Men in this society feel empowered by it. Self-assured women overwhelm. Be careful not to overindulge as it might start translating into the reality of you.
@7 Quite annoying: cant you judge for yourself woman??
@10 The female jealous streak seems to know no bounds. I mean men trip each other over to get ahead too, they just do it more merrily. Girls on the other hand, seem to have heart attacks when the other flips her hair and catches a guy noticing.
Then the nastiness strikes and lo and behold, your female confidante has turned into a vindictive creature on a mission to hurt.Recommend
Amna Iqbal;
Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it. — Mark TwainRecommend
hahha LOVE IT :) and its true! it really is :) Recommend