KARACHI: Have you ever wondered where Aamir Liaqaut would have been had he not graced our TV screens? Or what career path Shahid Afridi and his selfie-partner Ahmad Shahzad would have chosen had they not taken to the field?
Well, we did. Here’s a serious (insert sarcastic face here) take on what we think these celebrities would be doing had they not made it big in their respective fields.
1. Meera jee – English teacher
Miss Meera, actor/entrepreneur (as she claims), would definitely be an English teacher if she wasn’t famous. We are pretty sure that Meera’s unique style would only encourage kids to learn English the proper way. It would be a riot, regardless.
“Are you sick and suffering from fever? No, I am Sikh and suffering from Lahore.”
“Can I take the 2 minute loo break?”
2. Hamza Ali Abbasi – Morning show host
Mr. Know-It-All is famous for making his opinions a public affair on social media. Imagine receiving a daily dose of Hamza every morning. The TV show’s name: Subhan Hamza Kay Jazbaat Kay Saath.
A conversation about award shows:
“Woh item number ka dance dekha? So sad. What is wrong with our country? Why are we suppressing women?”
We have a feeling the air time for this show will never match Hamza’s need to air his grievances against the world.
But don’t expect any dances on his show, otherwise you’ll be subject to much disappointment: “Dance?! Allah maaf karey, let’s go home.”
3. Aamir Liaquat – In and as Ghalib
Aamir Liaquat would still be a celebrity — he’s too flashy and eccentric to be a normal citizen. But instead of a television anchor, he would be an actor.
Produced by PQRSmobile, co-produced by Ghalib ki lawn, directed by Dr Liaquat himself, presented by Aam ki peti free, we give you, Aamir Liaquat, in and as Ghalib.
Hoping to score some premiere tickets for this one!
4. Mathira -Nanny
Mathira could definitely be a nanny. Don’t know if she’ll be good at it or not, but the kids might just go to sleep if they hear: “Coochie coochie poo, go to sleep.”
We have to admit though, she would make a really cool caretaker, she’d encourage kids to sing and feature in music videos which will make them popular in their cliques.
5. Ahsan Khan – Choreographer
He’ll still be a part of the media industry, but instead of acting, he’ll be a choreographer. Ahsan would be the perfect combo of looks and moves, ready to perform everywhere and anywhere. Maybe you could hire him for your daughter’s wedding too, you never know.
6. Shahid Afridi and Ahmed Shehzad –Batman & Robin
They could be a lot more, maybe even the next Ramleela or a more intense version of Karan Arjun, but we’ll just go with them being the Batman & Robin of Pakistan.
You can ask them for any kind of help. “But first, they need to take a selfie.” Okay, okay. Help the country later.
7. Imran Abbas –Just a ‘creature’ (and not in 3D)
Imran Abbas would just be a pretty looking boy somewhere in the world. A photogenic face that stands amidst the crowd. We will be deprived of a good actor in our industry for sure, but Abbas will be saved from making some mistakes (Creature). He would just be, a not-so-famous creature.
8. Qandeel Baloch- Siri
The newest addition in the celebrity world (for some people), Qandeel could be the voice of ‘Siri’. Imagine if Apple decides to use Qandeel’s voice for the next version of Siri. We don’t know about you guys but we’re sold!
Who wouldn’t want their Siri, or should we say Qiri, to shower praises on them all the time:
“Hello Qiree, how em looking?”