No, you decide a headline

Feminists: Feminism isn’t just about the ladies, okay? It’s about egalitarianism...

Me: Oh, magnificent! So, basically, you care about how men can be easily and falsely accused of physical abuse and rape and not have their word taken by authorities, even if the woman was in fact the perpetrator who framed him. Is your ‘movement’ also concerned about how men are still always expected to be the primary breadwinners due to societal expectations; are still expected to manoeuvre under the rubrics of ‘valour’ in an ecosphere of alleged parity; are estimated to be brawny and hard-hitting, and subsequently, very often, won’t be solaced either as kids or adults. So, you’re also telling me that feminists are deeply affected by how men are relentlessly enforced with bogus notions, such as being privileged and advantaged, even though we all know countless women who could be termed as the same. Are you telling me you agree with the statistic that women are chronically encouraged to enter male-dominated fields but men are persistently deterred from entering female-dominated fields? Also, how, thanks to the grotesque actions of a minority group of psychos, men are assumed to be possessed with the rapist gene?

Feminists: *Desperately trying to come up with a comeback*

Busy thriving on self-pity and self-victimisation, feminists conveniently overlook crucial facets of information. There are malnourished kids in Africa that could use your leftovers as meals. They could also benefit from medical attention since a lot of them were born with the dreaded HIV virus. FYI, there are also a mammoth number of underage children in Asia that are literally slaving away in sweatshops to put together the tablets, smartphones, and server apparatus required for feminists to rant on Facebook and other social media. Feminists are not ‘oppressed’; oppression occurs in countries where deviating from the common ‘limits of order’ results in execution and torture. I don’t recall feminists ever being callously thrown in prison in this generation due to their incessant bashing of men, do you?

While feminists nonchalantly label men as autocrats, there are gazillions of men (along with women) serving in NGOs and peace corps, trying to prevent the actual abuse of women — all while preserving fundamental human rights. Statistics are heavily imprecise on male domestic abuse due to men not reporting these crimes — in fear of being emasculated by society. I don’t doubt that women and children can be or are abused by men, but I ask you, how many men are paying for a child that was spawned from an unfaithful woman?

Lastly, thank you, feminists for fuelling the internet’s need for pretentious garbage.

Published in The Express Tribune, September 4^th,  2015.