It is important that your significant other have traits that you admire and respect, reported DailyMail.
I asked a very wise person once, "How will I know when I've met the right person for me long-term?" said Tracey Cox.
His answer was this: "Ask yourself: if I had to become someone else, would I love to be this person or run a mile?"
Not only is this a simple, effective way to sort out the flings from the serious relationship options, new US research suggests it's a highly sensible question to ask for other reasons.
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Studies show the people we fall in love with can change us in many ways - some good, some not so good.
We might think we're strongly defined characters and not easily influenced but turns out each of the people we have significant relationships with, leave their mark on our personalities, habits and attitudes.
We are deeply affected by our lovers and become different people over time because of them. It is quite scary if you think about it.
So take a good long look at the person you're with or choose your next lover carefully to make sure they have the traits and characteristics you admire.
We all have a habit of immersing ourselves in the other person when we first meet, hanging off their every precious word, but this is different.
Tracey has devised a simple test to reveal whether your relationship is changing you in the right way.
For over-identifiers, the feeling isn't temporary but permanent with the person willing to change every aspect of themselves to keep the other happy.
1. The good ways your partner changes you
- Being loved makes you happier. Obvious stuff but something people often forget - especially when judging single friends. Remember, he/she is someone you go home and vent to, who'll give you a cuddle at the end of the day.
- You think for two, not one. Loving someone else means you consider the effect on them for all major decisions.
- You take more risks when you feel safe. Healthy relationships promote self-growth, say psychologists. If you feel loved and secure, you're far more likely to try something new like start up a business or try something creative.
- They make you see yourself more clearly. Partners tend to be a lot more honest with each other. So if you've got an annoying habit like talking over people, being negative or have a touch of the know-it-all's, they'll not only be the ones to point it out but the person you're most likely to listen to.
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2. The not so good ways your partners changes you
- Their problems become your problems. When you're close to someone and they're struggling with something, you experience their pain as your own. Same goes if they're happy go-getters and achieve their dreams. Choose a more serene, balanced person and that's what your life will be.
- You pick up their bad habits. Not only can you pick up your partner's physical bad habits (sleep later, drink more, eat more), emotional habits are also infectious. Study showed if your partner is a suspicious person, you become less trusting. If they're not terribly social, you can lose interest in your own friends - and lose valuable communication skills like making conversation and reading body language which need practice.
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