Advertorial: Get paid to be rich

Want to lead a luxurious lifestyle without paying any tax? RGST & Co have the answer!

Want to lead a luxurious lifestyle without paying any tax? Fed up of being expected to account for your wealth? Well, we at Rabbani, Gillani, Sheikh, Tareen & Co., (RGST & Co.) have the answer. We are proud to bring you the opulence of Park Lane without the oppression of taxation in the Principality of Parkistan, known as “The Enclave of the Rich”, an autonomous entity exclusively for the rich landed elite. It should not to be confused with the surrounding Republic of Pakistan, also known as "the Land of the Poor”.

RGST & Co. bring you prime tracts of land, in beautiful Parkistan, providing the luxury, comfort and excellence you and your wealth deserve with a privilege available nowhere else in the world. Other jurisdictions tax the wealthy more than the poor. In Parkistan, thanks to RGST & Co. we are proud to say that being rich shouldn’t cost you a penny. Because rich people have the right to be rich, stay rich and get richer.

All you need to do to qualify for this amazing opportunity is to become an “agriculturist”. Yes, it really is that simple. All your income will instantaneously become tax free and it’s absolutely 100 per cent legal! Sounds too good to be true, doesn’t it? Well just hear what satisfied clients have to say: “Hello — I am Chaudhry Malik — I am a wealthy businessman with large land holdings. In any other country, I would have to pay up to 50 per cent income tax. But in Parkistan, I just show all my income as “agricultural”, so even though I earn millions of dollars, own sprawling estates and live in opulence, I pay only $80 in tax — and that’s just some paltry land tax. Thank you RGST & Co. You make being wealthy profitable.”

What’s more, not only will you be exempt from income tax — you actually get paid money too. Oh yes! Poor Pakistan’s government will pay you fertiliser, fuel and input subsidies as well as superb support prices. So you actually make money at both ends.... with subsidised inputs and tax-free income. It couldn’t get any better!

However, all we ask of you is that when you are a member of Parkistan you always deny its lucrative privileges, to protect the sanctity of this exclusive tax haven for the rich. This haven is strictly for the rich, landed elite. But even though Parkistan is exclusive to you, you need not be committed to Parkistan. We offer attractive dual residence packages — our most preferred location is Canada (three year process), followed by the United States (green card or business residency) and Dubai (immediate residency). Most of you will wish to maintain a portfolio of prime residences in these locations and we recommend doing so. The Principality’s rich-friendly policies and tax-free status are occasionally subject to frivolous attacks by the courts and media but, to date, none of our wealthy residents has been prosecuted, audited or held accountable and we expect that trend to continue.

Still not convinced? Well here is an exclusive offer you cannot afford to miss! If you are one of the next 100 wealthy politicians to join us at RGST & Co. — in addition to guaranteed tax-free income AND huge subsidies AND generous support prices we will also give you absolutely FREE — a massive loan write-off. But hurry — this offer ends soon. Just make sure you have “borrowed” upwards of Rs 1 billion from any Pakistani bank and we will take care of the rest. Most of our partners have had an average of Rs3 billion written off — or “rescheduled” permanently — as we like to put it.

It pays to be rich but now you can get paid to be rich! Welcome to Parkistan! Where the “r” stands for rich!

RGST & Co. are proud to be partners of IMF Inc. Global Subservience UnLimited.

Disclaimer: The above offer expires in three months. In the event of riots, rebellion or an Act of God, RGST & Co. may withdraw this offer and shall not be held liable for any loss, damage or suffering resulting thereof.

Published in The Express Tribune, November 27^th, 2010.