Run out of revs

When The Washington Post publishes what amounts to an obituary for the Great Pakistan Revolution 2014, then you can be reasonably sure it’s all over bar the shouting. A chilly winter is settling in across Islamabad, and the ‘revolutionary’ camps that have occupied the attention of the media are gradually fading away. One has faded to nothing, the motley collection of temporary shelters that was home to Dr Tahirul Qadri’s supporters for a couple of months, is quietly getting tidied up by the sanitary workers of the Capital Development Authority — who are the unsung heroes and heroines in this melodrama.

The Doctor himself is not just fading away; he plans to leave the country to take his revolution elsewhere. Presumably, not Nicaragua or Armenia. That he failed to overturn a sitting government with a healthy majority and across-the-board parliamentary support, was apparently due to a set of ‘conspiracies’ you will be unsurprised to learn. Of course, it was… what else could it be?

Meanwhile, Mr Khan has vowed to live in a tent until Nawaz Sharif resigns. I love camping, all that messing about with little pressure stoves and the smell of damp sleeping bags on a wet morning… all very character-building. In fact, I may just pack my rucksack and go and join Mr Khan, swap camping stories around a guttering candle, chuckle as we brew up a cuppa and kip like babes under a starry sky… but I digress.

The IK branch of the revolutionary franchise has run out of revs, principally in the form of money because to put the rev in revolution, you need lots of ready cash — and the supply has dried up. Consequently, IK has appealed to the public at large to pelt him with large-denomination banknotes, preferably the US dollar variety, in order that he may continue to bring us the unalloyed tedium of his nightly rants. The public at large have thus far responded to his plea with a tsunami of apathy, and give every impression of being thoroughly underwhelmed at his pleadings.

Dr Q always had Plan B. If it all went to worms, there was Canada to fall back on, but for IK, there is nowhere to go except the corner that he has painted himself so comprehensively into. He has snatched defeat from the jaws of victory, and squandered one of the greatest political opportunities that have ever seen the light of day in our entire history as a nation.

The PTI did not win the last election by a country mile, but they won enough seats and with them both, goodwill and substantial traction, to put the wind up the mainstream parties. They took an entire province and had the chance to revolutionise governance — and tossed it away in a lather of rampant egotism and a deeply flawed vision.

Clocks are being turned back educationally in Khyber-Pakhtunkwa (K-P) as a religious party that is partnered with the PTI demanded — and got — the removal of what it terms ‘objectionable’ material from school textbooks. The shape of things to come for the rest of the country? Possibly.

And what of the women of the revolution? Conspicuous, as they were at the nightly jamboree in Isloo and elsewhere, even being filmed dancing on the streets in one location, they were conspicuous by their absence in K-P and will undoubtedly remain so. The IK bandwagon may have ruffled a few religious and cultural feathers with the participation of women and yes, it may be a small step in the right direction — but revolutionary it ain’t.

All in all, the Great Pakistan Revolution 2014 was a curious beast. A bit like the pushmipullyou of the Dr Doolittle books, a cross between a unicorn and a gazelle with a head at each end. A creature destined to go in circles forever that looks backwards and forwards but is unable to do both at the same time. Our revolution ran out of revs, and in truth, never really got itself out of the garage, never mind rolling down the road. Time to put away the banners and the t-shirts, post the pics on Facebook and go for coffee, cupcakes and a little rueful nostalgia.

Published in The Express Tribune, October 30^th, 2014.

Like Opinion & Editorial on Facebook, follow @ETOpEd on Twitter to receive all updates on all our daily pieces.