A recipe for de-VIP-isation

Some three years ago, I received an invitation from an NGO to attend a school function at a five-star hotel, where the chief guest was to be the Sindh minister for education. I regretted joining the event after realising that the NGO could exercise austerity by holding the function at a more modest location. I also could not help expressing my abhorrence to VIPs’ invitation to educational events — especially ones who have contributed most to the decline of education in the province.

For 67 years, Pakistan has promoted VIP-isation and weaponisation as the cornerstones of its ‘recipe to rule’. Weapons and VIPs have become synonymous as two sides of the same smudged coin. Like malignant cells, the two lesions now uncontrollably divide and spread to form lumps or masses of tissue around our entire body. The sight of two such lumps being unceremoniously ejected from a PIA flight speaks volumes about what ordinary people think of VIPs in Pakistan.

Getting rid of the ‘VIP culture’ is a promise repeated ad nauseum. In practice, everything is done to reinforce just the opposite. Here are some practical (though hard to swallow) steps that the citizens could push for.

The airports and the national airline have emerged as the leading bootlickers for those in power. The Civil Aviation Authority and the Pakistan International Airline must be asked to purge all airports of all signs and symbols of exclusivity. The parliamentarian counters must be removed and all persons regardless of their private or official status should be made to stand in the same queue and undergo the same body searches. The VIP lounges should be shut down and everyone must utilise the same departure hall. The rich and the powerful, escorted by their minions shamefully carrying their personal luggage, should be prohibited from doing so.

The national airline, an epicentre for cronyism and apple polish, must be publicly warned against delaying the plane for any individual, even if he happens to be the prime minister. A notice to this effect must appear in all newspapers for the knowledge (and satisfaction) of all citizens.

The federal and provincial government officials in Pakistan have been allocated more than 150,000 cars ostensibly for official use. Officials in green number-plated cars act as if they are the lord’s specially chosen representatives. They carry armed guards, stop traffic, break traffic rules, take their vehicles into areas forbidden for ordinary citizens, park at wrong places, do not pay the parking fee (even at the DHA’s Nisar Shaheed Park in Karachi), and browbeat those who do not clear the way for their high speed caravans.

All government cars need to be withdrawn and publicly auctioned. No official, regardless of his rank, should be entitled to possess an official vehicle. Anyone in need of transport while on official duty could requisition a vehicle on a need-by-need basis from a small common car pool maintained by each department. As is practised in the UK, all individuals, including the ministers, ought to reach their offices via their own transport arrangement. In stark contrast to our 150,000 official cars, the UK government uses only 85 cars — of which 13 are allocated to ministers and the rest reside in a common car pool.

The de-VIP-isation process must include removal of all barriers, roadblocks and tents from the homes of those who have been shamefully designated as important. One-third of Karachi’s police and one-third of its mobiles are engaged in protecting this breed. What the police get in return is incompetence, humiliation and slavery.

Finally, no building, road, bridge, airport or construction of any kind should be named after a serving official or politician — unless he has paid the full cost of the project from his own pocket. Even the inaugural inscriptions on plaques or foundation stones should not bear the names of those in power — a practice that will mercifully cut down many fake and hurriedly orchestrated inaugurations. Are those in power willing to ‘detox’ themselves and give up their perks for a classless Pakistan?

Published in The Express Tribune, October 2^nd, 2014.

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