Sach Mooch: The Ice ‘Lota’ Challenge

I propose we initiate our own version of the latest trend. Before you get cold feet, hear me out!

KARACHI:

Globalisation. The first time I heard this word was in school when a teacher said that the world has become a global village. Then, I could only imagine different coloured people living in jhopris in Dadu; people such as a Japanese man named Sum Yung Chandio. But now when I see a trend which begins in one part of the world transcend borders in split seconds, I understand what she meant.

The ALS Ice Bucket Challenge is one such recent trend that is creating awareness about an illness in a positive fashion. From Vin Diesel to Chris Gayle, Akshay Kumar to Salman Khan, and from our very own Khaled Malik to Tapu Javeri, celebrities have been nominating each other to take up the ‘chill’enge.

As the campaign is both creating awareness and generating millions of dollars in donation, we feel we should jump on the bandwagon and be a little creative while we’re at it. I propose that we initiate a challenge by the name of ‘Ice Lota Challenge.’ Before you get cold feet, hear me out!

Do you know a politician who keeps on changing parties based on who’s in majority and power? Does your girlfriend say she loves you, but gets cosy with the guy with a better car? A Pakistani actor who goes across the border to be a side heroine in a B-grade film? Give them the Ice Lota Challenge, so they can prove they are not lotas.



This challenge is proposed to create awareness about people who go with the tide because in my view, that’s one of our biggest problems. It can be perfectly portrayed by a lota as it is the perfect symbol of something intimate used by the entire household. A lota is never loyal; it will be controlled by whoever is sitting on the pot... I mean, throne. If you have the courage and want to see who the real you is, let the lota pour all over you and give your conscious an inquilab!

It is not much different than the Ice Bucket Challenge. You just need to fill the lota up with ice and pour it on yourself, not necessarily over the head. This challenge will be like a usual Monday morning for people in northern areas with no geysers, but will be no easy feat for people in urban areas. Especially since making ice in the ongoing load shedding will be your pre-challenge challenge.

Now, the lota can be of any size and colour, but please don’t cheat by using a mug or jar... it’s just disrespectful. People with Muslim showers, please don’t panic. Just go the extra mile and buy a lota. I would ask you to borrow your neighbour’s, but that would be the weirdest conversation you’ll ever have. Plus, the idea of borrowing a lota seems unhygienic.

Through this challenge, the lota, a big part of our culture and symbol of cleanliness, will also get its due publicity. You never know, we might end up starting a global trend. Imagine Ryan Gosling stepping out of the club with a lota in his hand. People all over the world chanting, “No more jugs! No more jugs!” Calvin Klein Lota and people hooked on smartphone games such as Angry Lota and Lota Crush.

Compared to a bucket, a lota is eco-friendly as it saves water. And who knows? Maybe the two cool ‘boiz’ who have been chilling on the streets of Islamabad for quite some time now will sort out their issues as a result of this competition. After all, in order to rule the country, you need the most number of lotas on your side.

This is officially the start of the Ice Lota Challenge! But the number of lotas is less as compared to the population in Pakistan. According to my research, there is one lota for every five people, so I will nominate five people.

Five People I Nominate For The Ice Lota Challenge:

President Mamnoon Hussain: Because he is probably bored right now.

Mohammad Amir: So that he learns from the genius in Pakistan’s Jurassic Park aka Haathi Mera Saathi.

DJ Butt: Who else would understand the importance of a lota more than him?

Humayun Saeed: Someone needs to tell him he is not Benjamin Button.

Gisele Bundchen (model): I just think that will be a visual treat.



Published in The Express Tribune, August 24^th, 2014.

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