But she is no more, so I guess it doesn’t matter.
At first, you try to convince yourself that it’s someone else. You tell yourself Fizza Malik is a common name. But after a few phone calls, it becomes clear.
It didn’t hit me when I was booking my ticket on the first plane to Islamabad to attend her funeral. It didn’t hit me, even when I was on the way to her house. But it hit me when her mother held my hand and said, “They took my daughter, they shot her. But she is a shaheed”.
That’s when I cried.
I’m glad I cried, it helped. I didn’t go to Islamabad to just meet her family. My main purpose was to say goodbye to Fizza, because I owed it to her. On the way back, I started recalling her plans of going to the UK to do her Bar as she had done her LLB from Islamabad (external programme). Her aim was to be a successful lawyer, work for the betterment of society and her nation.
In the eight years of our friendship, she would always talk about being a lawyer. She planned to change the way people saw the legal system of Pakistan, provide everyone with an equal kind of justice, the only kind there should be. She also wanted to come to Karachi and work here but she wasn’t too fond of this city. She would always say, “Halaat buhat kharab hain” (conditions are really bad there). Ironically, the city she thought was safe and peaceful took her life. Islamabad was her home from the beginning. She lived in the Beverly Hills of Islamabad named Bahra Kahu. I used to call her ‘burger bachi’. Jokingly, I would ask her how elitist does one have to be to live in a bubble’s bubble i.e. Bahra Kahu, Islamabad. She maintained that life in Islamabad is also tough and I would laugh.
Fizza had become religious in the past few years, as she had seen her share of problems in life and she had found solace in religion. She was one of those friends, who would always be there for you. Even if you have not talked to her for months, you could just call her randomly and blabber about your own problems and she would just listen and tell you it will be okay.
The reason why she still hadn’t gone for the Bar or even visit Karachi to inquire about potential job opportunities is because she loved her parents. She was one of those daughters who put her parents before herself or anything else. While writing this piece, I came across her last conversation with me in which she said, “Sometimes I think, what if I’m not with my parents phir kya hoga?” I wonder what will happen to them now, who are both old in age and not in the best of health.
As Fizza’s friend, I just hope her death is not meaningless. She died for Pakistan and I hope Pakistan realises that. Yes, her life was as precious as the hundreds of thousands before her, but that doesn’t mean she was any less important either. Because of her, I promise I will raise my voice against terrorism and no longer subtly disapprove of it. I will speak up for my friends, my nation and myself. That is my revenge: not to be terrorised. I hope you learn something from this too; I hope you don’t have to wait till someone close to you is shot three times in the chest mercilessly to realise this.
Please Pakistan, become one and don’t scare me with comments such as “they are not really terrorists because...” Anyone who can kill a kind, caring and loving Fijja can only be called a terrorist.
Published in The Express Tribune, March 7th, 2014.
COMMENTS (13)
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@naeem khan: Can't understand your comment. Please explain? This blog is about Fizza, tell us about the other victims . Also are you a TTP apologist ?
We send our deepest and heartfelt condolences to her friends and family. We hope that they will find the strength to deal with tragedy.
Ali Khan Digital Engagement Team, USCENTCOM
Thank you for all the prayers. Like Syed said "hope Pakistanis learn" from this. God bless us all
So sad...May her soul rest in peace IA - may she always remain in the memories and hearts of her loved ones; may our prayers bring her family peace.
Heart rendering note which brought tears in my eyes.......Yes we the majority of Pakistanis refuse to be terrorised.....Insha Allah we will see the morning sun, sooner than later
It brought tears to my eyes... May her soul rest in peace and may Almight bless his parentes the fortitude to bear this irreparable loss.
Well said. Lets not allow these extremists to take us back to the stone age. Stand up and be counted. If enough of us do, at least their apologists like PML-N and PTI would see the futility of the dialogue exercise. Already it seems that PTI is doing a u-turn.
Brought tears to my eye :( I hope my fellow Pakistanis learn
I am stunned by the simple pain that this blog conveys. It is our youth paying homage to our youth. To a flower, to their fallen comrade Fizza Malik. I am an educator and have produced brilliant star students in 30 years of service to my country. I've never felt so deeply sad than when I heard of Fizza. Thank you Ali Gul Pir for this piece and for your protest music, your blistering attack on censorship. I listen to your KholoBC daily now as I salute that rage. Imagine if a person of my age does that, then how many millions of young people must be clicking on your dissent? For me your song is a prediction. That our youth will smash the walls of tyranny one day. Please remember what Frantz Fanon once said: "Anger is a revolutionary sentiment." Che Guevara used to shout: "Venceremos" !
Another young life taken away..May Allah bless Fizza a place in Jaanat-ul-Firdos and give her parents the strength to bear this huge loss. It's absolutely horrifying to see how heartless people have become in the name of "Islam"..May Allah guide us ALL! Ameen.