An open letter to Shahid Afridi

Dear Lala,

No one sums up your batting and approach to cricket better than Alex Bowden: "Your probabilities and percentages have no place here. This is a land where we do stupid things again and again and every now and again, for no particular reason, they happen to come off."

Simply put, there is no better sight in the game than you coming off with the bat, and on the other side, there is no stupider sight than your freak dismissals.

Of late, you seem to have given up on your batting. Time and again we have heard the “I am a bowler” rant, but Lala, the world has labelled you “Boom Boom” for a reason.

We are not convinced that a mere ‘bowler’ can hold the record for the most sixes in One-Day International cricket; we are not convinced that a bowler can smash the fastest century in the format and come close to breaking his own record at least two more times.

This year alone, the cameos in Johannesburg and Guyana provide ample proof that you still have that ability to tear bowlers apart – all you need to do is to simply ensure that you don’t turn up to bat in kamikaze mode.

But here is the real question: how you will overcome an instinct that has been an integral part of your game for two decades?



You have repeatedly said that the “Afridi, Afridi” chant freezes your mind and you end up playing a shot that you and millions around the world regret seconds later. But your good friend Sachin Tendulkar blossomed to become the greatest batsman of all time in the midst of a similar fervour; he even said that “Sachin, Sachin” will reverberate in his ears for the rest of his life.

Are earplugs an option, then? In any case, you care little about what the non-striker tells you. No game plan is of any importance once you are at the crease, and the run-rate, the asking rate etc, all go out of the window. According to your way of thinking, no communication ever works so why bother listening to anyone?

There is nothing I have to say about your bowling – the drift, the top-spin, the leg-breaks and the faster one all seem to be working fine. The fielding is great too; the AB De Villiers catch in Port Elizabeth was surely the game changer there.

Which reminds me that other than lusty hits, you have also managed to finish a few games off; in fact, some very important ones like the final of the World Twenty20 in 2009.

Remember you scampered a quick leg-bye and raised your arms aloft? You didn’t finish the match with a monstrous six, a temptation that you couldn’t resist in the first ODI against South Africa in Sharjah that fateful October night.

You also had the chokers at your mercy in the second T20 in Dubai last month – 12 runs needed, nine balls to go. You wanted to break the Steyn-gun, but instead, the bat broke along with the hopes of millions.

Now Sri Lanka await you in the UAE. They know you inside out and they also know that you aren’t a bowler. There might be a few stupid things waiting to come off.

All the best

P.S. Mr Bean and Heckle and Jeckle are too old school now.

Published in The Express Tribune, December 7^th, 2013.

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