Partying for Pakistan

“Pakistan is cooking!” in London. British rappers, cricket matches and more in the UK...

LONDON: “Pakistan is cooking!” says Hammad Nasar of Green Cardamom; a London-based visual arts organisation that occupies curatorial space in Granta’s recent Pakistan edition.  It may be a recipe for disaster, but terrorism, floods and corruption have made Pakistan infamous.

So it’s not surprising when a country inhabiting the first three headlines on most daily news bulletins starts finding dates in London’s event calendar. Last week was marked by two polar opposites: one sprouting from Britain’s colonial roots in the Indian subcontinent, the other from the racial mix (up?) of modern British society. From the genteel playing fields of Chelsea where Major Langland’s largely Pakistani XI tried valiantly to battle against the strapping British Army XI to the hot, sweaty global/dance beats of the ‘Party for Pakistan’ at Islington O2, the common aim was to make some money for a beleaguered country.

Ninety-three-year-old Major Geoffrey Langland, eulogised by the Guardian’s Pakistan correspondent Declan Walsh and the BBC in print and television, certainly deserves acclaim for running an exemplary school high up in Chitral.  Langland witnessed Pakistan’s birth in 1947 and chose to stay on. His life, full to the brim with adventure and educating, could easily find celluloid glory in a Tom Hanks film. He has sipped tea with a Princess (Diana), lunched with a General (Ziaul Haq), taught a world class cricketer (Imran Khan) and been kidnapped in Waziristan by a disgruntled tribal politician. As I said, Hollywood would look at him and mentally go ker-ching.

There was another general at the Major’s cricket fundraiser for the Langlands School and College. Former President Musharaf, looking somewhat dashing and civilian in a brown suede jacket exchanged pleasantries with the Major before he was accosted by British journalist and Bhutto family confidante Victoria Schofield demanding to know why he hadn’t actually returned to Pakistan. The rest of us were content to gulp down slim cucumber sandwiches and crumbly scones while marvelling at the novelty of a Pakistan-England cricket match without suspicious no-balls.

I was also quite humbled to shake Major Langland’s hand and thank him for what he’s done for the country. The man is a marvel; 93 years old and still sharp as a whip on a horse’s back. And he’s pretty much dedicated his life to providing a decent education to the next generation in a remote part of his adopted country.

From old school to new Britain. “It’s a party for Pakistan, not a Pakistani party,” clarifies British Pakistani rapper-actor Riz Ahmed in a tongue-in-cheek promo for the event which shows Rapper Plan B turning up in a shalwar kameez for the dress rehearsal. I have a flashback to the first episode of “George ka Pakistan”, when a novice George Fulton arrives at a Karachi party in desi attire and ends up standing out like a sore thumb.  “Comedy is a way of approaching people that is not blinkered,” says Ahmed, “You can’t be indulgent or preachy when you’re trying to invite people in. But when you make them laugh and you’ve already got their attention.” So Party for Pakistan was a way to raise funds, draw attention and have a pretty great time “without being too precious.”  A novel concept for many Pakistanis; we as a nation are rather inept at laughing at ourselves.

The event line-up fielded some club heavyweights; with Plan B heading the A list. Plan B aka Ben Drew’s second studio album “The Defamation of Strickland Banks” (2010) went straight to the top of the UK album charts, so he’s not exactly small fry. Then there were DJ’s Nihal and Pathaan, and the elusive Facejacker, who has made a career out of tricking people into believing just about anything in his immensely popular TV show on Channel Four.

Riz Ahmed’s first big attention-grabber led to shock and awe with Post 9/11 Blues. a satire on the fallout from the attack on the Twin Towers. He followed that up with Road to Guantanamo, playing one of the Tipton Three and more recently the hugely funny Four Lions. which tells the story of four bumbling wannabe Muslim terrorists fashioned a little too closely after the 7/7 bombers for many people’s comfort.  I chatted to Ahmed about what motivated him and a motley crew (entrepreneur Imran Gilani, DJ Hanif Boogie and promoters Curious Generation) to embark on the party route to fundraising. “Some friends of mine were involved in raising funds for Haiti.  It seemed absurd to me that there wasn’t something like this for Pakistan. We have a prominent diaspora in the UK and a history with Pakistan. The British public has been great at donating money but the news is dying down.  So it’s up to us to create the interest. There were other people like Plan B who felt the same way and they didn’t need to be from a Pakistani background to think this is important.”

I can’t help but agree with Riz Ahmed when he uses the invariable buzz words:  “disaster fatigue”. The inconvenient truth is that there is too much competition out there. If we want the world to keep giving we are going to have to give something back. That’s why initiatives like Party for Pakistan or Major Langlands Twenty20 cricket match work. It deters people from believing they are pouring money into an endless pit. It allows them to enjoy an afternoon tea on the green or dance away their blues (post-9/11 or otherwise) with some of the best club acts in the business without feeling guilty for actually getting something for their money.

Where I don’t agree with Riz Ahmed is when he contends that “it’s tricky to try and create something as big as Live 8 for Pakistan.” Okay maybe not as big as Live 8 but how about something substantial?  Ahmed feels that “people have become hardened. It’s a different kind of time. The more we are exposed to different disasters the less they move us unfortunately. I don’t think we can mobilise that sort of coverage, support or media attention now.”  The issue is, if we are unable to create exactly that kind of mobilisation, Pakistan is going to become yesterday’s news.  The ragged newspaper that gets thrown away.  A forgotten story.

Of course the world has changed. But it may have changed to our advantage. I think the time is ripe to make a huge online pitch. We need another party for Pakistan. Bigger, better, brighter. We need to get together and get on to every big media event’s hit list; be it ‘Pop idol’ gives back or persuading celebrities to come together and do a ‘Song for Pakistan,’ we have to get onto their radar.  So how do we do it? The new buzz words here: social media marketing. The idea is to get like-minded people working together and raise some seed money to actually run the show. Let’s be honest: no one has the time to do this 24/7 without getting a pay cheque. Get on Twitter. Use Facebook and Four Square to death and pool talents, resources and contacts to build, create and do. Tell Naomi Campbell to mass produce her T-shirts for Pakistan and see if you can get the franchise.  Forget gripes with commercialism and sponsorships and start telling our story to the big corporations. Become eminent cyber guerrillas. To borrow from Adidas: impossible is nothing (you might start by invading Adidas’ website and telling them Pakistan is a great place on which to focus their corporate responsibility campaign).  And remember, party hard.

Published in The Express Tribune, October 17^th, 2010.