Life & Style

10 things I hate about cricket fans

Spontaneous dancing in the street. This isn’t an episode of “Glee”.

Saba Imtiaz October 04, 2010

1. Their over enthusiasm. It’s a match, not open-heart surgery. Relax.

2. Their belief that cricket equals patriotism. ‘So you didn’t watch the match? What kind of Pakistani are you?’

3. The denial regarding the Pakistani cricket team is akin to being in a abusive relationship. “He’ll never do it again … I just fell down the stairs” has been replaced by “He’ll never do it again … it’s my fault, I cursed the team during the fifth ball of the 27th over.”

4. Their conspiracy theories about what goes on in the dressing room. Like Pakistan needs more conspiracies …

5. Mood swings. They become unsociable, withdrawn and distraught during a match, instantly switch to being chatty, happy and over-eager when the Pakistani cricket team wins, and suicidal when it loses.

6. Aerial firing to celebrate winning a match rivals shots fired during a riot.

7. Their power to dictate loadshedding schedules.

8. Spontaneous dancing in the street. This isn’t an episode of “Glee”.

9. When losing a cricket argument, their winning spiel invariably includes the 1992 World Cup win. What about 1999?

10. Their hatred for other countries’ cricket teams spills over into real life hatred of their citizens. Not cool.

Published in The Express Tribune, October 3^rd, 2010.

COMMENTS (24)

Ahmed | 14 years ago | Reply One of the most pointless articles I've read on the web. Do you get paid for this?

Nerissa | 14 years ago | Reply One point that you couldve written would be that a lot of the fans aren't really true fans.. because if we win a match.. they're all like 'YAYYY we won we won I LOVE pakistan Proud to be a Pakistani!' And when our team loses.. all they can do is say all sorts of things against the team. Those people and people like you need to grow up and think differently. This article should embarrass you for the rest of your life. And the reason why we're saying all of this is because WE are true fans and we know exactly why we watch cricket and what we expect from it. As long as we're happy and content with watching our team battle it out, any such article is irrelevant.

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HamZa | 14 years ago | Reply OFF WITH HER HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nabeel | 14 years ago | Reply furiously scribbles down more hate mail

Danial | 14 years ago | Reply By far the most ignorant piece of writing I've ever read in my life. You are terrible and a disgrace to humanity, you will never learn the true meaning of sports and you need to go to the kitchen to make me a sandwich because that is what you were born to do.

Haider Abbasi | 14 years ago | Reply You don't understand cricket or being a fan of a sports team. Go buy some makeup and squeal over it.

Gasherbrummistani | 14 years ago | Reply Woe unto those that disbelieve. Verily, none can be guided that cannot see!

Waleed | 14 years ago | Reply Clearly a fail attempt at trying to be witty & funny. Plain nonsense.

Mahvesh | 14 years ago | Reply Lol @ all the cricket fans dissing the article!!! HILARIOUS!

Khadija Masood | 14 years ago | Reply A good read!

Sana | 14 years ago | Reply 3 minutes of my life I'll never get back. Really hope the Tribune is not paying you for this.

Hikmatyar Wali | 14 years ago | Reply Err, wouldn't quite like to debate the merits of your article, since it seems to be quite futile. But please do explain to me, how are Pakistan cricket fans mentioned in this analysis (or the general 'cricket fan' as denoted in this article) any different from a passionate Knicks fan in baseball, or a major Arsenal fan in soccer. They are guilty of much the same behavior. I am not sure whether you are passionate about anything in particular - but extreme passion results in extreme emotions. Pick your poison, you will find the same behaviors in you with regards to that passion.

Hammad | 14 years ago | Reply One of the most stupid articles I've ever read in my life.

sarah | 14 years ago | Reply I like the points covered in the article for reading purposes yes, but as a regular supporter of the game, i know that cricket at least provides fans with some thing to cheer about (even if its against the odds) and shift their focus from all the depressing news being shown. even after the whole match fixing fiasco i'm sure 90% of Pakistani supporters still continued to watch the T20 series and despite their woeful performance the supporters still continued with the ODI series! once a supporter always a supporter. support the game ! theres nothing wrong with that, i believe.

Ghausia | 14 years ago | Reply Oooohh couldn't agree with 2 and 10 more. Not cool at all. Jeez its just a dumb game with a bunch of silly little boys trying to hit a silly little ball with a silly little stick. Overcompensating much?

voice of sanity | 14 years ago | Reply try watching cricket..might change your mind. there are more positives then you might think..:-)

Rameez | 14 years ago | Reply correction "cricket can be used as uniting people" cricket can be used as a tool for uniting people.......some rush of blood to the head caused this mistake. :D

Fazeel | 14 years ago | Reply hahah enjoyed the writing but 8 and 10 are quite stupid points.

Rameez | 14 years ago | Reply yar what a stupid article.. what other recreational thing or activity u have got apart from cricket?? we are bron with cricket so we cant help ourselves feeling for our team.. i havent came across a single pakistani who says ‘So you didn’t watch the match? What kind of Pakistani are you?’ the author must have been to some very childish supporters who think like this.. if u hate cricket,good for you. but one thing i know,that this cricket can be used as uniting people, rather than commenting on their passion for the game.

Ali Farooqui | 14 years ago | Reply oh give it a rest we only have cricket which brings us SOME joy

Saba | 14 years ago | Reply she talked abt things she hate about cricket team..how cud she mention any positive point? well herez another idea muneeb "THINGS I LOVE ABOUT CRICKET FANS"..u can write on it :)

Imran Ahmad Khan | 14 years ago | Reply We (cricket fans) hate you for this:)

Ali | 14 years ago | Reply I totally agree with Muneeb, what are you trying to prove, i mean some of these things can be annoying but then again it is cricket which is the most effective unifying force for this nation so far. Don't befriend with cricket fans if you dont see any positive stuff....stop writing about negative stuff all the time...this nation and people have enough positives as well i never see anything in tribune or anywhere else for that matter regarding the positives.

Muneeb Khan | 14 years ago | Reply Would just like to comment that Cricket can be used as a tool to unite the people, we dont have enough platforms for unity and consensus. since you forgot to mention any positive thing about the cricket fans :)

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