This will make her say ‘I do’

Published: March 8, 2013
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Buckle up boys and put on your thinking caps — these girls are not easily impressed. PHOTO: KUKIS PHOTOGRAPHY

Buckle up boys and put on your thinking caps — these girls are not easily impressed. PHOTO: KUKIS PHOTOGRAPHY

Buckle up boys and put on your thinking caps — these girls are not easily impressed. PHOTO:FILE
Buckle up boys and put on your thinking caps — these girls are not easily impressed. PHOTO:FILE
Buckle up boys and put on your thinking caps — these girls are not easily impressed. PHOTO:FILE
Buckle up boys and put on your thinking caps — these girls are not easily impressed. PHOTO: KUKIS PHOTOGRAPHY Buckle up boys and put on your thinking caps — these girls are not easily impressed. PHOTO: FAISAL FAROOQUI
Buckle up boys and put on your thinking caps — these girls are not easily impressed. PHOTO:FILE

Fairy tales and romantic comedies have had a significant influence on the way we look at romance and love. When a bad boy falls in love with the girl next door and — after breaking her heart — runs a 1,000 miles to see her, drops down on one knee and proclaims his undying love and proposes, our hearts melt and we reach for the tissue box.

These expectations have flirted with our minds ever since one can remember. In Pakistan, however, the fairytale carriage turns into a pumpkin, and the spell breaks; no matter how much you love each other, a proposal is a formal affair, with the discerning mother-in-law sipping some tea with pursed lips, peering over her cup and analysing everything in sight. The element of romance is pretty much over right there; there is no going down on one knee, no speech, no proclamation of eternal, undying love.

Despite the eventuality of the rishta-situation, young women do hope that they will one day be swept off their feet. We asked some lovely ladies about their idea of a perfect proposal.

Mahvish Malik Who is currently the finance specialist at Coca Cola Bottlers Pakistan Ltd, shares her views. “I would love to get proposed at our mutually favourite holiday destination, either at dusk or dawn. With the ocean in the distance so the waves can be heard lapping at the shore.” She continues, “He should drop down on his knees unexpectedly and say, ‘I want to be your slave forever’ — I think that would crack me and make me say yes!”

Mariam Saqib of Veranda Bistro, talks about the element of surprise and the removal of clichés. “For unconventional people like us — yes, I am calling myself unconventional — it either becomes irrelevant or something that really captures my imagination and blows me away.” She continues, “It has to be daring and needs to have an element of crazy. I want to get proposed on a stormy night; if he takes me to a cliff, bends on one knee, produces the ring and warns me that he would jump right away if I didn’t say yes to him — I think I would accept,” she says with a chuckle. “Novelty fascinates me!”

Asmaa Mumtaz of the Dresser says, “If I were to ever find myself in a utopian, ideal world with the ideal man, I think I’d pretty much just propose to him!” “I’d then proceed to pinch myself and wake up in my not-so-ideal reality. After which I’d curse myself for waking up, and then go about my day in an ideal man day dream, sigh.”

Anum Javed Akram, Chief Operating Officer of Labels Lahore and Director Marketing of Don Valley Pharmaceuticals, says, “I’ve always been fascinated by things being written in the air. My chances of having someone do that for me are probably best during a marriage proposal so I suppose my ideal proposal would be the guy spelling out ‘will you marry me’ in the air with one of those planes.” “But honestly, who really cares as long as it’s the ideal guy,” she adds.

Natasha Saigol who is a haidresser and an avid flier talks about her fantasy proposal. “He hires a small private plane and, while flying together over a romantic city like Paris or Venice at dusk, my radio crackles and he pops the question.” She adds, “If he doesn’t want to say it over the radio, then perhaps he could fly me over a park or building where the words ‘will u marry me’ are written on a billboard — my heart would melt and I would definitely say yes.”

Maryam Salman talks about extravagance and adventure at the same time. “I am not conventional even by romantic comedy standards, so my proposal has to be adventurous,” she says. “I imagine us scuba diving and as we swim together on the ocean bed, he pulls out a ring,” she adds. “He doesn’t need to say the words, the ring should speak for itself. As we swim back to shore there should be a table for two set on a yacht. I’ll be overwhelmed and will say yes.”

Published in The Express Tribune, March 9th, 2013.                   

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Reader Comments (28)

  • Rojer
    Mar 8, 2013 - 8:49PM

    All will get married in there mohalla’s nearest lawn.

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  • boco
    Mar 8, 2013 - 9:10PM

    Wow, those are some extravagant and detailed expectations/desires. My ideal proposal would be unexpected (as of that moment) and involve a heartfelt gesture or a speech that gets me teared up. The venue and the specifications are irrelevant, IMO.

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  • Baba Ji
    Mar 8, 2013 - 9:22PM

    as they say in urdu “sub set ho jaien gee” when saas ka dandda challa !!!

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  • Rameez
    Mar 8, 2013 - 9:27PM

    This is absolute nonsense.It is highly degrading to male specie.Thank you but I am not going to go down and beg someone to marry me. Lets keep it simple and go Islamic

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  • Raj - USA
    Mar 8, 2013 - 9:51PM

    Woman should remember the old bollywood song from the movie Bobby:

    Na chahoon sona chandi, Na chahoon heera mothi, yeh mere kis kaamke ???????

    That is LOVE AND LIFE.

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  • Umar
    Mar 8, 2013 - 10:02PM

    Fantasies ;) sigh!

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  • I am a Khan
    Mar 8, 2013 - 10:51PM

    For the first time in the comments I see Pakistani and Indian Men saying the same thing and united in their thoughts. My advice to these girls out there with their superfluous demands- Why dont you have a high tech robot designed to fulfil your whims and fancies and then marry that Robot. Good Luck.

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  • Hami Abro
    Mar 8, 2013 - 11:01PM

    fantasies i have my own :big laugh

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  • Dr Dang
    Mar 9, 2013 - 12:39AM

    Isnt marriage more important than the wedding ?

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  • Talha
    Mar 9, 2013 - 1:00AM

    I bet 90% of these women will claim to be feminists any day of the week. But when it comes to proposals they want to be treated like prissy damsels in distress.

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  • Sonia K
    Mar 9, 2013 - 1:43AM

    @Rameez:

    When did Islam say that a man cannot propose in a beautiful way????
    I don’t remember people in Prophet’s era NOT presenting their own proposals directly to women!!!! There were many cases. It was not mandatory that there be a third party involved- like parents, friends or relatives etc…..

    If that proposal is a bit out of the ordinary- what is the harm????
    And please all the men who claim they don’t fantasize- well men do fantasize about the perfect woman and the perfect proposal as much as women!!!! So just get down from that pedestal!!!!

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  • New Yorker
    Mar 9, 2013 - 2:38AM

    I would do it given I love her so much and strongly feel that she will be happy after this …

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  • enu
    Mar 9, 2013 - 4:01AM

    In Pakistan, for most people the concept of a marriage proposal is redundant. You’re expected to be ready to marry the girl the first time you ask her out or tell her you like her.

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  • 4th Diamond
    Mar 9, 2013 - 9:12AM

    The lady in the 4th picture from the left. I Agree to take that Proposal challenge. Rest are not just worth it.

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  • Taimoor
    Mar 9, 2013 - 11:12AM

    @Sonia K
    Men don’t fantasize about proposals. That’s for sure!

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  • M.
    Mar 9, 2013 - 12:06PM

    It’s wonderful. It’s great and a lot of fun! Loosen up fellas… If u guys can’t that doesn’t mean other men won’t!! hope u boys find ur ideal girls n these women their real men!!

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  • M.
    Mar 9, 2013 - 12:11PM

    OK easy guys…loosen up fellas. its fun and great. It’s these girls personal choice and I’m sure there many men out their to fulfil this got these gorgeous women…as for the ones who disagree well there r a plethora of women u can find suitable to ur needs..which is fine too. Let me be.
    .take a chill pill!! ;)Recommend

  • harris
    Mar 9, 2013 - 12:40PM

    @I am a Khan:

    Absolutely right brother.

    I don’t know what happened to the women in Pakistan. They are crazy for there needs & fantasies.

    It’s all because of TV Channels of Pakistan.

    PAKISTANI MEDIA

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  • harris
    Mar 9, 2013 - 12:44PM

    @Taimoor:

    And what about women Miss SONIA K ?

    Women don’t fantasize about proposals. That’s for sure also!

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  • Omer
    Mar 9, 2013 - 3:36PM

    Well talking about fairy tales and folklore, would it matter to Heer where and how Ranjha proposed her? When a Ranjha proposes to his Heer it has to be beautiful, because the very presence of true love makes it flow and glow! One who loves cares to make it special, and one who has his heart would find it special. There is too much focus on packaging, on presentation, as if there is a template that needs to be taken into consideration; on a serious note, is love so commercial?

    Somewhere along the way, boys and girls have lost the plot. Marriage of hearts takes love, and the language of love is care. Then be it how one proposes and how one lives the everyday life (with his/her loved one) it is never routine. It is the utopia that is real to start with, and one is never troubled dreaming it because one does not even need to close one’s eyes.

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  • Ali
    Mar 9, 2013 - 4:04PM

    @4th diamond

    oh no no truth me that too is photoshop lolz

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  • Omar
    Mar 9, 2013 - 4:07PM

    Meh. I have my pillow…..tears away

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  • Khalid
    Mar 9, 2013 - 4:09PM

    @Mahwish Malik. Very funny a female wants her life partner to be her slave. Must think what would be the status of that guy in the society

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  • Poor Groom
    Mar 9, 2013 - 5:56PM

    whichever way they get married , its going to be their groom who will repent his decision later on..

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  • A Y
    Mar 10, 2013 - 2:15PM

    @Rojer:
    Wow! That was just epic! Comment of the day!

    Recommend

  • Nobody
    Mar 10, 2013 - 2:41PM

    I’m a woman and I find this barf-able. Why is there so much importance on the proposal when that’s the least important part….? If a guy actually did propose to me in an overly extravagant way, I’d probably say no tbh. I prefer an equal, and I prefer him be honest and REALISTIC with me. No over the top proposals or cheesy displays of romance. Love ought to be shown in other more realistic and lasting ways imo.
    But everyone’s different and I guess over the top works for some folks!

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  • Shahjahan Bhutto
    Mar 10, 2013 - 6:09PM

    Head -> Wall – Repeat

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  • Fakr ud Din
    Mar 10, 2013 - 8:57PM

    hey ho, lets go!

    that’s what i’d say to one of these ;-)

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