Recipe for resolutions

Add dimension of selflessness to the resolution and watch it succeed or make it narrow, selfish and mark its failure.

“For last year’s words belong to last year’s language. And next year’s words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning.” — TS Eliot, American Poet (1888-1965)

There is something compelling about the New Year. Is it, perhaps, the feeling of time passing without much to show for it? Or is it the seductive possibility of erasing the past and of making a new, more perfect beginning? Whatever the reasons for our fascination with it, the New Year presents an opportunity for making yet another list of ambitious resolutions to be aspired to for perhaps a month and then relegated to the bottom of the drawer, only to be revisited at the end of the year with an even greater feeling of time passing, and an even more fervent desire to start afresh.

As this year draws to a close and I face yet another possibility of repeating the same cycle, I realise that I cannot go on as before and absolutely have to make resolutions that I can adhere to. I, therefore, embark upon extensive research and soon realise that a large factor in the viability of our resolutions lies not in the inherent strength of our will power, but in our mindset at the time we make them, the manner in which we do so and in the extent of the impact these resolutions are likely to have. You may well ask what I mean by all this, so here it is: the magical recipe for adhere-able resolutions, in five easy-to-follow steps:

1) The Mindset: The first requirement is being fed up with the status quo and having an almost desperate desire for change, the kind that comes only after one has lived and suffered with a problem long enough (be it a job, personal appearance or even the rubbish heap piled on one’s street) and has tried —and failed — at all efforts to come to terms with it.

2) The Manner: Next, it is important to know what you want in clear, specific and positive terms. So, if you are fed up with your job or appearance, you must know the kind of job you want instead or the appearance you prefer and if it’s the rubbish heap that bothers you, then you must have a reasonably vivid mental picture of a clean street.

3) The Courage: It is not enough to simply want something, unless you want it badly enough. This requires painstakingly identifying any existing and potential obstacles in your path and locating within yourself (or in persons or things accessible to you) or acquiring the resources necessary to overcome these obstacles.

4) The Plan: This is the most difficult part. It requires having a realistic timetable, broken down into manageable steps. So, we need a start and a finish date and specific, identified milestones in-between. Of course, this does not mean that if the plan does not proceed perfectly it should be abandoned. A good plan always has a Plan B.

5) The Secret: Beyond all this is the mystery ingredient of service to others. Add a dimension of selflessness to the resolution and watch it succeed or make it narrow and selfish and mark its failure. So, even if it’s getting a new job or losing weight, think of how it may benefit those around you and this generosity of thought will, in itself, become the driving force in your success.

Making resolutions in this way is a far cry from the whimsical desires we generally throw out in the universe around New Year’s Eve but it is perhaps the only way in which we can make them work and in doing so, bring about a positive transformation not only in our own lives but also in the lives of those around us. And now imagine everyone making resolutions in a similar, thoughtful and well-considered manner. Imagine politicians and government officials putting the same kind of sincerity, energy and effort in their slogans and their promises and witness in your mind’s eye, the entire country starting afresh and remember, if you can imagine it, you can have it.

Wishing everyone a happy new year.

Published in The Express Tribune, December 30^th, 2012.