The rise and fall of Fayezah Ansari

In an exclusive interview, the Karachi-born model talks about battling an addiction to heroin.

KARACHI:

Fayezah Asad Ansari is a name firmly connected with the modeling industry in Pakistan. Whether it’s a fashion event or product launch, you can always count on Fayezah to rock the show.

Not only is she unabashedly self-confident, she also has a funky sense of style that she isn’t afraid to flaunt. Without a doubt, the model brings that oomph and attitude to her sultry photoshoots and the ramp. But of late, Karachi’s dusky diva — who has also been the recipient of two Lux Style Awards — has been battling the ills of drug addiction. In an interview with The Express Tribune, the bold model shares her fight against heroin addiction.

“Not too long ago, heroin was introduced to my husband [fashion designer Syed Mohammad Rizwanullah] by a friend,” she begins, in a regretful tone, referring time and again to the drug as “harry”.

Fayezah explains that before she married Rizwan, she was curious about what drug he was using. “I was over confident,” she says in a nervous voice. “I thought I could try it too. But I did not realise that it creeps up on you,” she says, determined to share the story of her downward spiral. “You don’t even know it but you are hooked — you become an addict.”

Fayezah says she did not want to hide her heroin addiction. “My image is so clear-cut; I am who I am, I am certainly not going to hide it,” she says.

With tears in her eyes, the model speaks about the betrayal of her friends in the industry. “They made fun of me and called me names,” says Fayezah, clearly hurt by the reaction of her dear ones to her addiction. “These were the same people I had done personal favours for. They literally leeched on me.”

While she remained open about smoking heroin, she says her friends were duplicitous and talked badly about her behind her back. “I remember how hurt I was. I was in a blackhole and people were trying to bring me down. A person I thought I was close to said: ‘Fayezah Ansari is dead’,” she carries on, referring to the lowest point she had reached with fickle friends and a dangerous addiction. “But I have forgiven everybody — even the ones busy talking s**t about me,” she adds calmly, as if she has made her peace with what happened.

“I will never forget those who stood by me in difficult times,” she says, naming Sehyr Saigol, Frieha Altaf, make-up artist Rukhiya Adamjee, the duo Athar-Shahzad, Jamie Abidi, fashion designers Umar Sayeed, Sheroo, Deepak Perwani, and her husband Rizwanullah as her support system.

“I have worked my b*** off!” she adds, confirming that she is cleaning up her act. “I have tried to tell people that I am now fighting against it. Friends have turned their backs on me. They don’t understand that this took away all my energy. I am fierce about coming back to life. I believe I am beyond all of this — I will walk the walk. I want a new start,” she says, the determination burning in her eyes.

After almost a year-long addiction, near the end of which the couple tried to quit a dozen times, losing faith in friends proved to be the turning point. Fayezah and Rizwanullah decided to quit heroin in May this year. The couple began their courageous fight by venturing out into the mountains of Northern Pakistan, where they immersed themselves in the beauty of Naran Valley for one month and shut themselves off from the drug.

“Rizwan and I have gone to several rehabilitation centres,” she confesses. “I was always into growing herbs. I like to use Ibogaine, which is a cure for heroin. We are in pain. We have given every inch of our lives fighting against this drug addiction. It hurts so much,” Fayezah cries, desperate to have her fight recognised.

“They tell us we are still doing it. They don’t understand that slight injury can lead to a re-lapse,” she adds, referring to the sceptism of people she once called friends. “This is definitely a very crucial period; we are even focusing on the inner peace in our marriage [to stay clean].”

Recalling her early years in the industry, Fayezah glows with pride as she says: “I was the poster child in the world of modeling in Pakistan. I was always on time and had a straight-forward attitude.”

“But today, I am an outcast. People say that I can’t work. I want to tell them that I can,” she says with affirmation. “It is ironic that in the fashion world, it is relatively acceptable for a model to be a prostitute or have a sugar-daddy; but if you are a drug addict, you are gone!”

Before and after fashion 

Fayezah was adopted by her biological father’s uncle and aunt. “I was utterly loved by my Abba,” she says, referring to her adoptive father. “I was a complete daddy’s girl and a spoilt rotten kid,” Fayezah says with a cheeky a smile. “But I was home-schooled and didn’t have many friends, which made me grow into a socially-challenged adult. I was living in a box, so when I started modeling, it was difficult for me to settle in the fashion industry,” she admits, adding that she was a complete nerd during her teens and had a keen interest in history. “My all-time favourite topics were the French Revolution of 1789 or the British Monarchy and the Cuban Missile Crisis — everything would interest me!”

In a search for a new start, Fayezah and her husband have left Karachi behind and moved to greener pastures in Lahore. “I want to leave it all behind,” she says, talking about her perilous tryst with heroin and the negativity that it bestowed. “I want to be out of this mess. I am certainly not coming back to it.”

After her deeply troubling experience with the drug, Fayezah recognises the perils associated with heroin. “It’s an epidemic in Pakistan. Heroin is easily available here; the rich can go to rehab, but the poor are thrown on the streets to live under flyovers,” she says. “I want those people to believe that there is life after this.” Fayezah says. “I want them to come out of this plague and know that they will not die but recover.” With Rizwan’s help, the model hopes to help heroin addicts fight their addictions.  The couple hopes to open a rehabilitation centre in Lahore in the near future. “People should be aware of the dangers of heroin. It should not be considered a taboo,” she says passionately.

At the end of our meeting, an emotionally drained but satisfied Fayezah turns once again to her outlook on the fashion world. For her, it is no longer relatives that matter. “I am here for work and for the money that I get for it. I have recovered and I am back.”

Celebs who partied too hard

Some Hollywood-Bollywood celebrities who had been into drugs

Sanjay Dutt

The Bollywood actor, who had his fair share of bad luck — bomb blast accusations, failed marriages, personal tragedies — has also suffered from serious drug addiction. He came out of this, perhaps not unscathed, but alive and returned to Indian cinema with a bang, reports telegraphindia.com.

Robert Downey Jr.

The Iron Man and Sherlock Holmes of Hollywood also had a rough time. Not so long ago, the famous actor was sentenced to jail for drug-related offenses, reports people.com. But now the actor is up and back with some Hollywood blockbusters and is rocking the industry with his skills.

Manisha Koirala

Manisha of Dil Se rose to fame in the Indian film industry but had a miserable downfall due to several reasons with drug abuse being a prominent one. In 2000, Ali — a drug peddler — was arrested in New Delhi whose diary revealed names of a few drug addicts which included Manisha Koirala, reports telegraphindia.com.

Charlie Sheen

“Two and a Half Men” former star Charlie Sheen confessed on a breakfast programme “Good Morning America” that he has kicked his reported drug habit and it wasn’t because of rehab, reports dailymail.co.uk. His heavy drug abuse got him fired from his $34million-a-year job on top-rated comedy “Two and a Half Men”.

Kate Moss

Supermodel Kate Moss, who has been a British fashion icon for over 20 years, was labelled the “heroin chic” due to her drug addicted lifestyle. Even US President Bill Clinton weighed in on the debate and commented on her slim figure and alleged drug use, reports dailymail.co.uk.

Paris Hilton

The American socialite, fashion designer and musician, served a year of probation, had to pay a $2,000 fine and further served 200 hours of community service, after pleading guilty on two misdemeanor counts in a Las Vegas court of cocaine possession, reports foxnews.com. 

Published in The Express Tribune, October 30^th, 2012.

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