LAHORE: I congratulate the government and Interior Minister Rehman Malik on successfully ensuring a peaceful and incident-free Eid for Pakistanis by shutting down mobile telephone services in four major cities. I think they should take this experiment a step further and consider the following humble suggestions for the future.
1) Ban all clothing. No clothes, no hidden suicide vests, no blasts. This will promote equality amongst the masses as the rich will no longer be able to flaunt their fancy threads and the poor will be saved the public display of their tatters.
2) Ban all watches and clocks so they cannot be used in making time bombs. In any case, it isn’t as if our nation will miss much in way of punctuality.
3) Ban all vehicles. This will create a logistical nightmare for the terrorists and even if they succeed in their nefarious designs, getaway will be impossible.
4) Ban television, movies, computer games and the internet. After all, aren’t these where the terrorists get their ideas and plans from?
5) Increase loadshedding of electricity, water and gas by at least four to five times. Chances are that terrorists will get so frustrated, the will make mistakes that will either get them caught or blown to kingdom come. Moreover, due to lack of electricity, the terrorists will not be able to charge their mobile telephones so there won’t be any need to shut down mobile services in the future.
I hope that the government will consider these suggestions and will publicly appreciate me like they appreciated the water-kit car engineer. (Where did he disappear off to, by the way?)
Published in The Express Tribune, August 23rd, 2012.
Comments are moderated and generally will be posted if they are on-topic and not abusive.
For more information, please see our Comments FAQ
Now they are trying to ban prepaid services which all can afford easily.Its not a just matter of temperory ban.There are about 80% ppl on prepaid because its easy and cheaper.Mobile in our villages of k.P.K is a only resource of communication of internet and calls they want us to get back in stone ages.
Aren't people over-reacting a bit? Land-lines still exist you know, so it is not as if all means of communication were blocked. Having service blocked temporarily, that too when it is a holiday, is not a big deal if there really was some sort of threat. Better safe than sorry.
Well, i am really worried about the next Eid ! please consider the implications of this ban on cell phones !
Who knows we might be under curfew for our own safety next Eid ! I mean if we don't get out of our home, we might not get killed by the terrorists !
Such is the state of affairs in Pakistan ! What a shame !
i truly agree with u n u can add one more suggestion , everyone should stay at home during ramzan/eid 24hrs :-)
This reminds of Punjab assembly morons banning concerts in schools for terror threats.
Hahaha well said its voice of all pakistanis hearts thanks adeel ahmad
dude!!! .. dun try putting ideas in his head - you are being sarcastic he might just take it seriously ..