Too mortified to move? Try laughing about it

Natasha, 14 years — I once was at my school, in the mood to play basketball after my classes finished. I could have rented out the basketball from the school administration for Rs.50 but when I saw an abandoned ball lying on the court, I got a different idea (which momentarily seemed clever). I decided to hide the ball in a tree nearby so I could play with it afterward without paying for it. But just when I climbed to the top with the ball awkwardly tucked inside my shirt, my plan went awry. I got stuck amidst tree branches and was unable to safely descend, until a janitor spotted me and helped me to the ground. The news made the headlines of the school paper next week.

Ali, 20 years — During my sophomore year in college I was running late for an exam. In leather-soled shoes, I scuttled across the pebbled ground clutching feverishly on my term paper. I ran — marathon-style — past a large group of girls, toward the examination building. But suddenly, I slid on the concrete, my legs nearly went over my head, and all my papers slipped out of my hand and flew in every direction. The girls standing nearby burst out laughing, as I sheepishly got up and picked my term paper.

Maria, 18 years — On my first day of my senior year, I walked into this class, sat down only to realise that everyone else was a junior and was staring at me in a strange manner. When I figured out that I had walked into the wrong classroom, I got up in front of the entire class and left. This wouldn’t have been so bad except that I was a freshman mentor and so I had to wear a bright orange T-shirt that had “senior” written on it in bold. Later I found out that the class was an introductory level course — World History — and everyone was giving me strange looks because one would have had to fail the course to take it as a senior!

I am sure you vividly remember your most embarrassing moment as well. Since they always occur out of the blue, embarrassing encounters are particularly dreadful. And when they are over, all we want to do is hop inside a time machine and go back in time.


But, instead of indulging in wishful thinking about ways to eliminate those mortifying minutes of your life, you should rationally deal with the situation.

First of all, remember that you are not the only person on this planet going through this awkward moment. In fact, we all encounter events which deal a blow to our confidence and self-esteem.

Secondly, you need to be calm and confident about an awkward encounter. When President George H W Bush was visiting Japan, he threw up at the dinner table, right in front of the Japanese Prime Minister! Later he smiled for the cameras and cracked jokes about his dry cleaning bills. With his self-deprecating humour, the president turned the embarrassing moment to his advantage. And this let people know that he was least bothered or upset by the entire incident.

You may not be as suave and quick as Mr President. But if you assume control of the situation after making a blunder — turn your humiliation into a self-effacing joke — you will actually preempt the mockery that might be directed towards you. After all, why would a sardonic bunch of people bother to poke fun at the situation, when you’ve already laughed about it yourself?

The last and most important, embarrassment is caused by how we react after our goof-ups. If the blunder is a minor one, like an awkward fall or a slip of tongue, sometimes you can just move on with your business, and not many people will notice.

On the other hand, if you stop in your tracks after the embarrassing incident, look lost or blush in embarrassment after you’ve messed up, then people will really notice, and it will be hard to let the
moment pass by. Of course, some embarrassing moments are too big or obvious for this plan to work. You shouldn’t fake a laugh if you really feel angry or embarrassed, but changing your attitude or outlook might be worth a try. Remember that at the heart of most funny stories is a little bit of embarrassment. The thing that makes you cringe today will probably make you laugh tomorrow. So, why not try to laugh over it today?

Published in The Express Tribune, February 25^th, 2012.