But as a strong believer in the coherence and interrelations of events in this world, I had never paid much heed to this philosophy until yesterday, two minutes and 47 seconds into the music video of Italian House DJ Junior Jack’s song “Stupidisco”, my worldview floundered like a castle of cards. There he was — none other than Mansoor Ijaz — amidst a blatant display of flesh, keeping the scorecard for female wrestlers.
Seeing the man, whose allegations shook the foundation of our civilian government, in a video featuring semi-nude female warriors was just bizarre, to say the very least.
We, as a nation, have spent several months speculating about the origins and motives of the mysterious American-Pakistani who precipitated a furore in Pakistani politics. We have seriously wondered why Ijaz came out of the blue with his allegations, brandishing his BlackBerry transcripts against former ambassador Husain Haqqani.
Many of us have desperately tried to salvage the truth from the deluge of clichés that we have been subjected to in this case — is Ijaz a RAW agent or a member of the Zionist lobby?
But for those interested in knowing more, here’s some additional information to satiate your curiosity. Not only has he made millions and negotiated between governments, Ijaz has also made an appearance in an unctuous music video. Don’t expect this piece of information to serve as an epiphany about his ‘true’ interests and identity; in fact it will just hurl you in throes of utter confusion.
At least that’s what it did to me. Just as I saw Ijaz judge a melee between women clad in bikinis, that left little to the imagination, a news alert in the adjacent tab on my computer screen conveyed that the American-Pakistani will be judged very soon. Not in a wrestling ring, but in front of the judicial commission in investigating the memogate scandal.
I tried to connect the dots — find some sort of an explanation linking the ludicrous juxtaposition of an important businessman whose words have profoundly impacted Pakistani politics, with a cameo in an R-rated music video. But it just didn’t make sense. Damn, I thought, couldn’t he just have been a RAW agent? It would have made so much more sense. But it appears that in this case, fact is indeed stranger than fiction.
At that moment, I wondered how our electronic media would debate this ‘issue’. How will our news channels, relentless in their quest for pithy political analysis, link Ijaz’s appearance in a sleazy video to the memo case?
After all, the coterie of strident politicians and screeching talk show hosts take this country’s myriad issues very seriously. They take its politics very seriously. They even take Veena Malik seriously.
So, how will they ever contextualise this new development in the momentous memogate scandal?
Well, the flurry of speculations has already begun to gain momentum. After watching the video, Ijaz’s opponents are casting aspersions on his character in an attempt to undermine him and his allegations. He has responded, alleging that those behind the video are Haqqani sympathisers, a charge that has been denied.
But the truth is that, for once, we need to stop rationalising and finding causal linkages and just ponder over the absurdity of the situation. The instigator of the memogate controversy, which has aggravated the civil-military schism like no other issue in recent times, is the same man who chuckles when the voluptuous Double D ‘gives it good’ to her opponent. There is nothing more to it; there’s no superior sense you can make out of it.
Pakistani politics has always been exciting and overwhelming, but it has now officially entered the realm of the absurd.
Published in The Express Tribune, January 20th, 2012.
COMMENTS (35)
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Here goes his creditability!
Fantastic article. I really have given up trying to make any connection between the two. I wonder what Mansoor Ijaz thinks about this himself. A very well articulated, cogent article. Your diction is impeccable. It's kind of pathetic that the English-reading populace would complain about an article in English. Keep it up.
Loved reading this article. It was a feast for a voracious reader. The bouquet of charming words appease my unquenchable thirst for marvelous piece of writing. A voyeuristic nature person can't be fit for any grand cause. Well; that's my view however. Great article Ms. Maria! The depth of your eyes does reflect by your thought provoking words.
Mansoor Ijaz's role in the 'wrestling match' between the two premier institutions of Pakistan is an uncanny repeat of what he is doing in the video!
@Pak Tester: Yes, what an irony! A Pakistani in service of Pakistan is prime suspect and a foreigner, a self-declared enemy becomes a trustworthy person.
Pointless!
whats wrong with appearing in a video? just because he is a part of the memogate scandal doesnt mean the doesnt like his women. mansoor ijaz has nothing to gain but the democratic led govt surely has something to gain by writing a memo to curb the military powers.
@Pak Tester:
Ijaz was born in Pakistan, his father was a nuclear scientist here.
What an Irony! You guys believe in a person (Mansoor Ejaz)born in America, lived in America and always remain in America(An American) rather than a person(Hussain Haqqani) who born-ed in Pakistan, lived in Pakistan and will always remain a Pakistani. America has always created problems in Pakistan, either directly or indirectly through Americans of Pakistani origins. Time Check!
At least the first paragraph of this article seems to have been inspired by that movie, "v for vendetta".
@John B: Dude he's not an ahmadi..get ur facts right! The ahmadiyya community said he's not one of them..and has never been.
Video or no video, this guy has something about him that would or should admonish any prudent person to let this guy anywhere in the vicinity of trust and confidence. He's just such weirdo, I want to watch him as witness demolished and his evidence trashed by a good lawyer like Husain Haqqani has available----just wait and see. And yes stop treating him as some kinda VIP here----just keep his importance in his own country in right perspective.
@Maria, I loved your article and liked your picture. Great job.
The establishment politics is a 'tragic-comedy' show with the spectators , I mean the citizens of Pakistan, as the victims. Will this video be shown in the SC when Mr Hussain's lawyers frame the character of Mr Ijaz ?
What a strange thing is that Qadianis contact still exist with Govt level sad sad shame indeed. & peoples like Mushref are still in Army??
I am very liberal but there is one small thing called character. Most people do not get involved in sleazy stuff because of their parents, siblings, kids and other family members. Even those who get involved do not feel proud later on. MI can do anything for cheap publicity and money and has been doing it. Is this the only (best) witness that SC and generals could find? This US double agent cannot set foot even in a lower court in the US, but he is a hero in Pakistani SC and for religious rightwing! Secular and liberals are bad but this guy is good!
@Ali Tanoli
A person who performs in video is not trustworthy? How is that so? What has art, entertainment or personal hobbies got to do with truth and fabrication?
hello. Please next time you write ensure that you use plain english that is conversant on a daily basis. No one uses this in west. thanks
Come on people, why are you all being so unsupported. There is nothing wrong with expressing your opinions but if you could all be little careful with selection of words please. The girl seems to be very young and i really do think that she has made some good points in the article. and there is nothing wrong in using complex vocabulary. I am not a shrew English speaker myself but I have learnt few new words after reading this articles. Why don't you look at it in a positive way. Kudoooos!!! Maria, Keep up the good work..
This is a sign...cant you understand? The two lady wrestlers are symbolic of govt and army fighting in a ring and finally stripping away each other (begharaiti) in front of the whole world. And Mr Ijaz is watching from the sidelines like a judge and reporting to his masters. This video should be seen in the light of memo gate scandal.
And this I believe is what they call fluff.
Man this guy is awesome. First the memo now this video. Mansoor Ejaz for President. O wait hes an american. If only we could make an american our President.
Did it ever occur to any one that he might be one of the financiers of the music video by this company and was given a small part?
May be PAK can use this video and declare him as Non Muslim and thta his testimony is not worth that much. Mr Haqqani's team should consider this sleazy approach. I am sure Shariat bench, JuD, JI and even IK will all support that he is not a Muslim, given that he is a Ahmadian who also engaged in Haram acts!
Thus even if this guy took a part in some disco music video a few years back, (which is not harming anyone in the west), it is nothing compared to what these "patriots" of PPP and PML are doing in the government.
Thus, while it may be a shocking revelation about his character... most of us don't care. He's no role model - he's just a character in a drama. And most find it quite amusing - he's even more popular now to be honest....
I believe the worldview of Pakistanis is quite twisted. Let me just say this:
Corruption and stealing from the poor, even if it is to help ur family and friends (PK gov and bureaucracy), is a far greater sin than drinking, nudity and anything else found in the west...
@Iftikhar Ali, I understood today so i think every body else too.
Dear Maria I know you have very high level english vocabulary, may be you are double master in english literature. But the readers of et, are common persons with not so high level english. So here is a piece of advice for you, next time when you write an article write in simple plain language that can be understandable with out opening a dictionary. Thanks alot
It appears that you got hold of a bit of trivia and got all excited - in the morning, when you look at again, it will still be trivia.
What is absurd about it? What has the video got to do with memo? A personality may have multiple facets. You are making a mountain out of a molehill. Pointless article