I'm difficult? Only for the wrong people

Apparently, I am difficult.

I have heard this pet name more times than I can count. Difficult. Opinionated. Strong-minded. Too direct. Too much. And honestly, I have started wondering: is "difficult" simply the word patriarchy uses when a woman won't be convenient?

Maybe I am difficult, but only for the wrong people. I have opinions. A lot of them. And no, I do not plan to apologise for that. I write. I analyse. I question. I challenge ideas. I speak about society, women, politics, injustice, culture, education, war, money, family, and the ridiculous things human beings do every day and then rebrand them as normal.

What exactly is the point of being an intellectual if every thought has to be watered down until nobody can possibly disagree with it? I mean if I am going to write about the world, should I first ask the world for permission to have an opinion?

I understand that my conclusions will not be everyone's conclusions. They do not have to be. Disagreement is their right, but speaking is mine.

I am opinionated.

Yes.

And I am not ashamed of it.

Whether you sing my praises or sharpen your knives, I will still remain opinionated. Why? Because an opinion is not a criminal conviction. Your right to disagree is absolute. So is mine. That is called conversation. Moreover, there is also a case study placed on women. A man with strong opinions is often called confident, assertive, outspoken or intellectual. A woman with the same qualities can suddenly become "difficult".

Notice how the same trait gets two verdicts.

A woman says, "I disagree." Difficult. A woman says, "I have boundaries." Difficult. A woman says, "That argument makes no sense." Difficult. A woman says, "No, I will not be shushed." Extremely difficult. She said no to something she did not want to do? Lock her up.

At this point, perhaps the dictionary needs a new edition. Besides there is another blind spot to this that people often gloss over. Being a public intellectual, writer or journalist comes with responsibility. When your words travel beyond your living room, your office or your WhatsApp group, you cannot treat ideas like disposable tissues. You have a responsibility to think, to research, to question, and to understand the consequences of what you put into the public conversation.

And no, "responsibility" does not mean I must spend my life tiptoeing around everyone's feelings like a waitress carrying a tray of fragile egos. It does not mean I should soften every sentence until it becomes meaningless, or pad every argument with so many disclaimers that nobody can find the actual point. I can be responsible and still say the thing you do not want to hear. Both can share the same defence.

And what exactly are you expecting me to compromise? My intelligence? My boundaries? My ability to think independently?

And for what? So that I can become easier to deal with? No, thank you.

I am grateful as a journalist that I can write with conviction, raise difficult questions and engage with subjects that matter. Strong women should not have to wait for permission to enter intellectual spaces. They should be given the microphone, the column, the platform, and the freedom to use all four.

And yes, sometimes I will be wrong. That is part of being human. Being an intellectual does not mean possessing a magical certificate declaring, "Congratulations, you are correct about everything." It means being willing to think, learn, question, and defend your position.

So, am I difficult?

Perhaps.

But only for people who need me to be quiet.

So call me difficult.

I'll wear it like armour no sword can pierce.