Saima Qureshi urges mothers-in-law to break cycle of mistreatment

Actor says women should learn from own traumas, men should stand up for their wife during domestic conflicts

Actor Saima Qureshi stressed the need for mothers-in-law to learn from their own past traumas and foster healthier relationships with their daughters-in-law.

Appearing on a morning show on a private TV channel, Saima noted, "I have seen mothers-in-law who go through the worst themselves, yet they repeat the same behaviour with their daughters-in-law. But why? If that has happened to her, she should do the opposite and treat her daughter-in-law differently. I feel it is really bad how mothers-in-law misbehave with their daughters-in-law."

At the same time, the actor stated that husbands had a major responsibility in ensuring that their wives were treated respectfully. "Men also get stuck choosing sides between their mother and wife, which should not be the case. When a couple gets married, their relationship should be a priority," she argued.

Saima further noted that men didn't have to rely solely on their mothers to understand the changes their wives may experience. She said, instead, that men could educate themselves about behavioural changes and mood swings in women, particularly during pregnancy. "You have access to ChatGPT and YouTube. Husbands should take care of their wives and have the responsibility and understanding that their wives can experience changes or mood swings, especially during pregnancy," she said.

"Men are not small kids who need their parents to teach them these things," the actor said.

Discussing her own experience, Saima shared that she was blessed with an amazing mother-in-law and did not have to go through difficult emotional stages alone. "My mother-in-law was such a good person that I do not have the words for it," she said.

Saima added that her experience with her own mother-in-law taught her that parents should be completely honest about their true selves before they brought a woman into the family. "My experience during pregnancy was very good, but generally speaking, I feel that when you get your children married, you should go in with the mindset of showing your true selves from day one," the actor noted.

"If men expect the girl to respect their parents, they should be expected to do the same with hers," she added.

Saima added that it was embarrassing that such discussions were even necessary, as kindness and mutual respect within families should be basic etiquette. "We are discussing this topic here even though these are just basic human things. You need to live nicely with each other and treat your daughters-in-law the same way you treat your daughters, because you were also a daughter yourself," she argued.

She further stated that many conflicts between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law could be resolved if husbands took a stand for their wives. "The main problem with all these talks is actually the husband because if he does not take a stand for you, nothing will change," Saima said.

Married at a young age and later divorced, Saima raised three sons as a single mother while she continued to work in the entertainment industry. Her recent works include Ghulam Badshah Sundri and Duniyapur.