Sharmeen Ali, Sunita Marshall, Saima Qureshi call for teaching kids independence

Actors stress shared household chores for sons and daughters, encourage teaching children essential life skills

Actors Sharmeen Ali, Sunita Marshall and Saima Qureshi discussed the importance of raising independent children, encouraging parents to equip them with essential life skills, from learning how to drive to making their own beds and preparing simple meals.

Appearing on Nida Yasir's morning show, the actors discussed why independence should be encouraged in children regardless of gender. They agreed that boys and girls alike should grow up knowing how to care for themselves and contributing to household responsibilities.

Sunita highlighted that while safety concerns may limit children's outdoor freedom, parents could still foster independence at home. "We can't always send them out because of safety concerns in Karachi, but we can teach them independence in the house. We can tell them how to make their beds, how to fry an egg. At least, we can make our kids independent enough that they are not at our heads every second," she said.

The actor added that extracurricular activities also played a significant role in helping children become self-reliant, saying, "With extracurricular activities, kids learn to be independent because of time management. My son knows he has to go rowing at this time and then to tuition. They learn how to manage these things themselves."

Saima echoed Sunita's thoughts, adding that good habits were formed within the home. The actor, who is a mother to three sons, shared that she encouraged her children to take responsibility for household chores. "I tell them to make their own beds, wash the dishes, make their tea or coffee, keep the house clean and iron their clothes. If the maid does not come, I ask them to help with the dusting. If we do not develop this strictness early on, they will not do anything," she noted.

Sunita also revealed that responsibilities in her household were shared among all family members. "We have turns. I would do one day, then Hassan [her husband], and the kids have their own separate days."

Sharmeen agreed with her colleagues and stressed that household responsibilities should not be divided along gender lines. "Normalising this is important," she said. The actor added, "Kids should do it regardless of whether they are girls or boys. Unfortunately, working mothers cannot be available 24/7, and if we are at work, our kids should be able to find solutions themselves. Necessity is the mother of invention."

She also reflected on her own journey towards independence, revealing that learning to drive transformed her confidence following her marital separation. "I felt true independence when I learned how to drive. When I moved back to my mother's place after my separation, I started taking driving lessons. If you stay dependent on the fact that you need someone's help to even go down to the next street, then you will always remain that way. How long will you depend on rickshaws?" Sharmeen asked.

The actor added that driving gave her a newfound sense of freedom and was a skill she hoped to pass on to her daughter. "When I started driving, I felt like I could do everything. I think we need to teach children this kind of independence from a younger age. I think about safety, but my daughter is turning 17, and one of the main things on my list is to teach her how to drive," Sharmeen shared.

The discussion also touched upon the impact that AI-generated content and digital platforms had on children. While acknowledging concerns surrounding the technology, the actors agreed that online platforms had also led to children being more informed than previous generations.

Saima recalled instances where her children had corrected her after learning something online, saying, "Sometimes I tell them how to do something, and they tell me I'm doing it wrong. Then I start learning from them, and they become even more interested. Even we, as parents, can be wrong."

Sunita shared a similar experience, recalling how impressed she and her husband were by their son's knowledge of World War II. "My husband and I were watching a movie on World War II, and I asked my son to join us because he loves history. He started explaining every single historical fact. He had learned it all from YouTube before it was even covered in school. It really depends on the child's interests," she noted.

Sharmeen, meanwhile, maintained that children should be allowed to use digital devices and enjoy activities beyond academics — as long as there are clear boundaries. "You have to set them a task and say, 'Complete these questions, and then you can do your favourite activity,'" she said.

Further, Sunita emphasised that education must remain the priority despite opportunities extracurricular activities may provide. "Education is also important. Yes, my son could get a rowing scholarship, but academics comes first. He doesn't have to be at the top, but it is important to at least have average marks," she stated.

Saima also highlighted the importance of staying involved in children's lives. "I like to be very involved. I was very strict even though my son is now engaged. I'm always making sure he's on time. I also worry about his friend circle. I like to stay close to my children," the actor shared.

She stressed that maintaining a close relationship with children while keeping an eye on their surroundings was essential to fostering good values and upbringing.

In regards to their careers, Saima most recently featured in Mera Susraal and Lejo, while Sunita appeared in Maa and Rang De and Sharmeen in Pal Do Pal and Dastak.