Two young people meet at university. They start texting every day, share memes, talk late at night, and spend time together after classes. Their friends assume they are a couple. When someone asks, “Are you two together?” the answer is simple: “We’re just talking.”

Weeks turn into months, and the relationship still has no clear name. This kind of situation is very common among Generation Z. Many relationships exist somewhere between friendship and commitment.

Because of this, people often say that Gen Z is afraid of commitment. But the reality is more complicated. Growing up in a fast-changing world filled with uncertainty, many young people simply want to understand themselves, their careers, and their partners before making long-term promises.

No wonder surveys show that 56% of Gen Z (ages 18–29) are single, far more than previous generations, and that they are the least likely to rush into romantic relationships. For this generation, commitment isn’t dead—it’s being rewritten on their terms.

The same approach extends to work. Nearly half of Gen Z employees plan to leave their jobs within a year, often taking roles knowing they won’t stay long. It’s not disloyalty—it’s a search for purpose, growth, and authenticity before committing.

Ruhaf Khan, a university student from the Department of Education, believes commitment in friendships still holds deep value for her generation. “A true friend is someone with whom one can share personal thoughts and secrets,” she says. “Someone who stands beside you in both good and difficult times, and someone who shares similar values. In contrast, acquaintances remain at the surface level people with whom interactions are polite but not deeply personal.”

For Ruhaf, “Loyalty is the most important component of any relationship.”

However, she also acknowledged that maintaining any relationship today requires conscious effort. If people stop investing time and attention, even strong relationships can slowly fade.

According to Ruhaf, love, trust, and mutual support are the foundations of a healthy family environment. While disagreements and differences sometimes arise, communication helps resolve many issues. However, she also notes that modern life has reduced people’s connection with the wider community. With busy schedules and increasing social distance, building strong community ties has become more difficult for many young people.

Interestingly, Ruhaf’s approach to hobbies reflects a broader Gen Z trait—constant exploration. Instead of sticking to one passion, she enjoys trying different activities. “Every day I feel like trying something new.”

Her reflections suggest that Gen Z is not necessarily afraid of commitment. Rather, they are navigating a complex world with changing priorities. What older generations see as hesitation may simply be a generation taking time to understand itself before making lasting commitments.

Mubashir Khan, a young mathematics graduate from Government College University believes Gen Z is often misunderstood when it comes to commitment. “Young people today are simply more careful before making serious decisions,” he believes. “Finding the right partner in the early twenties can actually be a good thing. “If you meet the right person early, you can grow and become successful together. But the partner should support you, not make the relationship challenging.”

Mubashir also explained that many Gen Z individuals try to protect their freedom and mental health, which is why they avoid rushing into commitments. He says he follows the same approach in his own life focusing on personal growth, peace of mind, and making thoughtful decisions before committing to anything long-term.

Aiman Ali, who is currently pursuing her bachelors in business commerce, believes that both ambitions and concerns shape her generation’s approach to commitment.

Aiman does not see marriage as the ultimate goal of life. “It is a part of life, not life itself,” she explains, adding that the right time for marriage is after completing education and achieving financial and emotional stability. Until then, she believes relationships often remain uncertain. She remarked that every relationship begins as a ‘situationship’ until it eventually leads to marriage.

Aiman emphasised loyalty and respect over constant communication. “Even a simple message occasionally can maintain a friendship despite busy schedules.” However, she admitted ending a close relationship once because she felt jealousy and competition had replaced trust.

Aiman rejects the idea that Gen Z lacks dedication. She believes young people are serious about their future but also value fair salaries and positive work environments. She also shares that she once dreamed of becoming a doctor but had to give up that goal due to high education costs and exam challenges.

“Young people may be cautious about relationships and marriage, but they remain strongly committed to building better lives and supporting their families,” says Aiman. “Gen Z is not afraid of making a commitment. What we fear is failure.”

Esha Anwar shares a more critical perspective on Gen Z’s approach to commitment. “Young people today tend to be more cautious about entering long-term relationships than previous generations,” she says. She believes that growing up in a time when divorce rates appear high has significantly influenced Gen Z’s thinking about marriage. In her view, nearly “90 percent” of young people are affected by the fear of relationships ending in divorce, which makes them more cautious about committing.

However, Esha does not see marrying later in life as a sign of fear. Instead, she considers it a personal choice shaped by career ambitions and personal growth. Most young people today prefer to focus on building their future before starting a family or settling into a long-term relationship. Gen Z tends to value independence and self-development more than lifelong partnerships.

Esha emphasised “Focussing on career and personal growth should come before investing emotional energy in someone who may not be fully committed. Building a stable future is more important than rushing into uncertain relationships.”

Makhdoom Mahalaka, a student of International Relations believes the issue is often misunderstood.

“People frequently say Gen Z avoids commitment in relationships, marriage, careers, and even financial responsibilities, but the reality is much more complex than that assumption,” she explains. “Gen Z tends to be more careful before committing. Instead of rushing into decisions, they prefer to understand the other person first. This is why situationships or undefined relationships have become more common. This does not necessarily mean fear of commitment; rather, young people want to wait for the right person and the right time.”

“Today’s generation values honesty, trust, and emotional support,” Mahalaka adds. “Many young people today prefer having fewer but deeper friendships instead of maintaining large social circles.”

She pointed out that this generation does not strongly believe in staying in one job for decades like previous generations did. Instead, they look for workplaces that provide growth, learning opportunities, and meaningful values. If these elements are missing, they are more willing to move on and explore better options.

“They prefer to make thoughtful choices that align with their values,” Mahalaka explains. “For them, freedom, mental peace, and personal growth are essential, which is why their lifestyle sometimes appears very different from that of previous generations.”

Every generation is shaped by its times, and for Gen Z, uncertainty has been constant. Growing up amid economic instability, rapid technological change, and crises like Covid-19, they view stability and long-term decisions differently. Unlike earlier generations, milestones like steady jobs, early marriage, or homeownership are less certain. Facing high competition, rising costs, and limited security, hesitation is understandable—commitment today is both an emotional and practical choice.

Another key factor shaping Gen Z’s approach to commitment is how dating has changed. Unlike the past, when relationships grew within small social circles, technology now connects people far beyond their immediate surroundings. While this access is exciting, it also increases the pressure to choose carefully. Many young people prioritise compatibility, shared interests, and emotional understanding before defining a relationship. What may look like avoidance is often a deliberate effort to avoid superficial commitments.

Maryam Ahmed, a computer science student explained that relationships often move from meeting and texting to hanging out and the “talking stage” before becoming official. She’s experienced situationships, which she finds confusing, and believes marriage should ideally come in the mid-to-late twenties after emotional and financial stability.

For friendships, she values trust, support, and loyalty over constant communication and has ended friendships where she felt respect was lost. “Gen Z stays loyal to employers who offer growth, respect, and fair pay,” Maryam explains. “We aren’t scared of commitment,— just careful and thoughtful, prioritising personal freedom, growth, and well-being.”

Ironically, abundance itself challenges Gen Z’s commitment. With more career paths, lifestyles, and social options than ever, choosing one path can feel like closing doors to others. This “paradox of choice” makes decision-making harder, so hesitation is often a response to navigating endless possibilities rather than fear of commitment.

Social media has also reshaped expectations about relationships.

Young people today are constantly exposed to images of romantic gestures, luxurious lifestyles, and seemingly perfect partnerships. Seeing “perfect” couples online and public breakups repeatedly can make long-term relationships seem risky.

These images rarely show the ordinary struggles that every relationship experiences.

As a result, many individuals unconsciously compare their own relationships with these polished portrayals. If their experiences do not match the idealised versions they see online, doubts can appear.

Some young people delay commitment because they feel their relationship must meet unrealistic standards. They want certainty that they have chosen the “right” partner, a certainty that rarely exists in real life.

“Unlike previous generations, Gen Z doesn’t want to marry or feel the same pressure to marry,” says Nadia Khan. “Earlier generations even played “marriage games” in school, imagining future spouses and children, but today’s youth approach relationships more thoughtfully and prioritise personal growth over following traditional expectations.”

Gen Z isn’t entirely “commitment-phobic.” While around 32% are ready for long-term relationships, the remaining are like “let’s see where this goes”, prefer flexible arrangements like situationships or casual dating.

When asked about responsibility, Mubashir Khan rejected the idea that Gen Z is running away from it. He says, “young people are willing to take responsibility, but they prefer to do it by their own choice and readiness, rather than under societal pressure.

A key trait of Gen Z is openness about mental health. Unlike previous generations, they talk openly about anxiety, burnout, and self-care. This awareness affects relationships: they set boundaries and leave situations that harm their well-being. The pandemic, social isolation, and rising anxiety have made many Gen Zers cautious, afraid that opening up could lead to rejection or heartbreak and harm their mental well-being.

In societies like Pakistan, traditional expectations around marriage remain strong, with early commitment seen as a sign of stability. When Gen Z delays these milestones, it can create tension, as older generations may view it as irresponsibility, while young people feel pressured. This gap reflects differing life experiences and calls for empathy from both sides.

In fact, this generation often shows strong dedication to causes they care about—social justice, environmental protection, community activism, and personal development. Their commitment may simply appear in different areas of life.

When it comes to relationships, they want partnerships built on understanding rather than obligation. This approach may take longer, but it often leads to deeper connections.

Every generation navigates its own challenges while shaping new social norms. Gen Z is no exception. Their cautious approach to commitment reflects the complexities of the world they inhabit: Fear of commitment is heightened: “Why risk heartbreak when you can just keep scrolling?”

For many Gen Zers, flexibility and self-discovery come first, with serious relationships often postponed until personal and financial goals are achieved.Commitment isn’t disappearing; humans still seek trust and connection. For Gen Z, the timeline may be slower, but their choices come after reflection and thought. In today’s fast-paced world, taking time before promising “forever” ensures that commitment remains sincere, not rushed.

 

Rabia Khan covers social issues, literature, and cultural values of Pakistan. She can be reached at rabiayousufsai26@gmail.com

All facts and information are the sole responsibility of the writer